Parents

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

Yeah and I have to be a cop to know that a cop that shoots a handcuffed citizen is a bad cop. I have to be a doctor to know that a doctor who amputates the wrong leg is a bad doctor. I have to be a politician to know what a good law is. I have to be a dentist to know how to brush my teeth. I have to be a football player to know what a good player is. etc

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No but you have to have good examples to know what a bad one is..;)

There is a huge difference between

1) teaching your child that there are negative consequences to criminal behavior

and

2) teaching your child that there are negative consequences for having different political/religious/moral/ethical values/other opinions than yourself

One is a great way to keep your kid out of trouble. The other is a stifling suppression of one's right to be an individual and the ability to form and express dissenting opinions. We have the first amendment in our US Constitution to prevent the government from doing just that, but it can be just as damaging (if not more) when parents try to do the same thing to young adults under the age of majority.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

Yeah and I have to be a cop to know that a cop that shoots a handcuffed citizen is a bad cop. I have to be a doctor to know that a doctor who amputates the wrong leg is a bad doctor. I have to be a politician to know what a good law is. I have to be a dentist to know how to brush my teeth. I have to be a football player to know what a good player is. etc

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As a parent, I've actually felt like a cop, doctor, dentist, lawmaker, and football player at some time or another! It's not easy to be any of those things, let alone all at the same time!

I don't get the impression that OP is a bad "kid". He has stated several times that he is close to and respects his parents. They've obviously done something right. If their one "screw-up" is making him be a part of a group he's not interested in, that's not so bad.

Like I said before (and others as well), rather than fight it, take what you can from it. Look at it as giving back to your parents in return for all they've given you. Trust me, they've done things for they didn't love doing. Trust me!

Wow...this took off while I was away. :)

Ok, first off it looks like what I said was misunderstood. When I said that rules can't be too concrete and parents should be willing to compromise, what I should have said was HOUSE rules.
Naturally, the Laws of society are not flexible and shouldn't be. And we as parents (Yes, for those not aware I AM a parent) must make sure we teach our children to respect and follow those laws. The rules I referred to are house rules - those that exist between family members in a home. And yes, those do need to be open to compromise, especially as a child gets older. One should never treat their 15 year old the same way they did when he was 2 (unless he still acts that way, of course). Rules should change as a child grows, and the older the child the more compromise room there should be since the child is now making their own identity as a person and future adult.

In this case, from what I've read, the OP's parents are not open to compromise even though the OP tried to talk with them about the fact that his beliefs differ from theirs. Add in the fact that they 'threaten' to take away his property, that he himself paid for, if he does not do as they say and you have a case of parental bullying. IMHO most cases of rebellion and kids becoming little hellions stem from a lack of compromise room.
Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying a parent should bend over backward and always be the ones to make the compromise! No no...that's what also leads to brats. But they should be willing to talk things over, have an open mind to what their child says, and think up likely solutions that can involve compromise on both parts.

So, sorry for any confusion there. Let us return to the discussion, and I hope the OP is able to either offer some good compromises...or come up with a roommate or two for the coming months. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Argentra

Wow...this took off while I was away. :)

Ok, first off it looks like what I said was misunderstood. When I said that rules can't be too concrete and parents should be willing to compromise, what I should have said was HOUSE rules.
Naturally, the Laws of society are not flexible and shouldn't be. And we as parents (Yes, for those not aware I AM a parent) must make sure we teach our children to respect and follow those laws. The rules I referred to are house rules - those that exist between family members in a home. And yes, those do need to be open to compromise, especially as a child gets older. One should never treat their 15 year old the same way they did when he was 2 (unless he still acts that way, of course). Rules should change as a child grows, and the older the child the more compromise room there should be since the child is now making their own identity as a person and future adult.

In this case, from what I've read, the OP's parents are not open to compromise even though the OP tried to talk with them about the fact that his beliefs differ from theirs. Add in the fact that they 'threaten' to take away his property, that he himself paid for, if he does not do as they say and you have a case of parental bullying. IMHO most cases of rebellion and kids becoming little hellions stem from a lack of compromise room.
Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying a parent should bend over backward and always be the ones to make the compromise! No no...that's what also leads to brats. But they should be willing to talk things over, have an open mind to what their child says, and think up likely solutions that can involve compromise on both parts.

So, sorry for any confusion there. Let us return to the discussion, and I hope the OP is able to either offer some good compromises...or come up with a roommate or two for the coming months. :)

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I couldn't agree more. :gj: