All Women Should Read This

I stole if from facebook. I don't know where it originated, though I have seen it from time to time in the past.


THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.)
Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.


POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.

At the same time fellow ladies don't assume all men are rapists/creepers/sickos! I've heard stories from men that were obviosly being polite only to be called a rapist. But thank you for this post. The turn around and ask a question point is new. Keeping that in mind.

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Thanks for this. Most of these tips I already do out of habit, but there were a few good ones in there that I never thought of.

I carry mace always. I always look at everyone walking near me on the street. Especially people walking behind me.

I carry pepper spray, and am always very wary of my surroundings and people. Good to remind everybody of these tips though. Thanks. And, slightly creeped out, I usually wear a ponytail...


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Forget pepper spray, invest in a glock, that will keep the rapists at bay.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/08/aneju9eg.jpg

This is why I like Canada.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Forget pepper spray, invest in a glock, that will keep the rapists at bay.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/08/aneju9eg.jpg

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Lol, in pink? Nah, no pink for me.

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The fact that this post has to exist makes me sad :(

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Originally Posted by Rob

Forget pepper spray, invest in a glock, that will keep the rapists at bay.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/08/aneju9eg.jpg

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If you are going to get the pretty punk gun, please take the time to take some classes along with it. Learn how to shoot, how to be safe when shooting and when carrying, and become comfortable with it!!

If you ever have to pull it, don't hesitate to use it before it's used on you!

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Got my glock 40 cal and I know how to use it ;)


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Originally Posted by DrDooLittle

Lol, in pink? Nah, no pink for me.

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Lol trust me with that flashy thing, the scum bag will be running for his life the second he sees it. Heck throw some bejewels on there while your at it.

As someone who has been raped, these are all good points. I wish I would have thought to fight back, but in the moment I was too scared.

Also, miss congeniality has a move she showed on what to do if you're grabbed from behind:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-q_g...ember_to_sing/

Two points i'd like to add after reading that.

1.) Don't slap a guys "parts". Hit him there with force. As much force as you can. "Slap" just sounds WAY too friendly imo.

2.) I don't think i saw this mentioned but i read through it sorta fast... Going for the eyes/nose can be effective as well. Just push on your eyeball a little bit and you'll notice it takes only a little bit of force to hurt. So scratching their eyes out would hurt A LOT lol. If you get hit in the nose your eyes automatically tear up. Hitting them in the nose will cause them to tear up and lose a bit of vision. Either way if you're going for the eyes/nose then he may let go of you for a second to defend himself, giving you the opportunity to flee.

I'd say the most important thing is to be aware of your surroundings and pay attention. Excellent post! :gj:

Trusting your gut is a great piece of advice, whether it's about a dark alley or a business deal I've never been sorry for it

My husband always said he pitied anyone foolish enough to try to kidnap/rape me. I kick like a Missouri mule and bite like a starving crocodile, and I have nails like a bald eagle and I am not afraid to use them.

BUT, being strong, courageous, carrying a weapon, none of that can make up for not being aware of your surroundings. If I go anywhere at night, I park under a light. I walk to my car with my keys in my hand, my head up and looking around. I notice everything around me, and I check my car before I get in. I advertise clearly that I won't be an easy target, and let the predator know he better seek his meal elsewhere.

Gale

Thanks for the post. I have 4 daughters. They need to read this. They are teenagers.
At what age do you think a girl should read this? The 2 daughters I'm going to have read it are 13 and 15.
My wife and I have already taught them to avoid men when possible.

I started warning mine when she was in elementary school. They can't be too young to know they have to watch EVERYONE. Too many kids are taken everyday, but that number pales by comparison to how many women are assaulted. It's also amazing how many assaults go unreported.

It's just, well, it's just one of those things that shouldn't be. It's a sad state of affairs when women, but all of us really, need to be so careful not to be targets to those who would do them/us harm. Guys, if you know of someone who's doing this, victimizing anyone, do something about it. Drop a dime, send an email, don't let it happen to someone else. The next someone else might be your daughter or mom or wife or sister. None of us should tolerate this.

Don't feel like you're being rude, or not nice, Ladies, just because you walk with a can of mace in your hands or you step into a business because you get creeped out by the guy across the street. Kill an hour if you have to, call the cops if you need to, listen to that little voice. There are some very bad people out there looking for victims.

Wish I could. Getting a concealed carry permit is damn near impossible for the average person in this state. :(

I carry a taser instead. The kind that shoots out 15 feet.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Forget pepper spray, invest in a glock, that will keep the rapists at bay.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/08/aneju9eg.jpg

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Originally Posted by wilomn

I started warning mine when she was in elementary school. They can't be too young to know they have to watch EVERYONE. Too many kids are taken everyday, but that number pales by comparison to how many women are assaulted. It's also amazing how many assaults go unreported.

It's just, well, it's just one of those things that shouldn't be. It's a sad state of affairs when women, but all of us really, need to be so careful not to be targets to those who would do them/us harm. Guys, if you know of someone who's doing this, victimizing anyone, do something about it. Drop a dime, send an email, don't let it happen to someone else. The next someone else might be your daughter or mom or wife or sister. None of us should tolerate this.

Don't feel like you're being rude, or not nice, Ladies, just because you walk with a can of mace in your hands or you step into a business because you get creeped out by the guy across the street. Kill an hour if you have to, call the cops if you need to, listen to that little voice. There are some very bad people out there looking for victims.

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I think i can speak for many who have been assaulted. I CALLED the police, and you know what they told me?

"oh there's no such thing as statutory rape"

Hm..

If that's the response I get for trying to get that piece of scum off the streets, I can see why women wouldn't report it.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

I think i can speak for many who have been assaulted. I CALLED the police, and you know what they told me?

"oh there's no such thing as statutory rape"

Hm..

If that's the response I get for trying to get that piece of scum off the streets, I can see why women wouldn't report it.

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Then you were doubly violated. You may well want to see if you can't talk to your city attorney or try a Sheriff instead of the police. There's no excuse for that sort of thing.

I will tell you though, that sometimes, might be years later, some do get what they deserve. A good friend of mine is waiting patiently for the right opportunity to set things right for a female relative of his. The guy who did it disappeared, we think he snitched someone out and went into protective custody, but if, when he shows, her family is going to have a little talk with him, nothing too serious, he'll still be breathing, but he may be unable to perform in the aftermath. There is no doubt in this case that he did it. If more families took care of their own I seriously think there would be less crime of this nature. No doubt, in my mind, that this guy is a repeat offender so hopefully her justice can help you too. Who knows, might even be the same guy.

This happened 6 years ago, when I had just turned 14. I was shocked when I called, and had my mom call as well and they told her the same thing.

Her boyfriend at the time called him later pretending to be the police and told him there was a warrant out for his arrest and to bring himself in. I'm no sure if he did or not, but I hope he did.

He was a family friend.

If it bugs you, go talk to a detective at least. There may not be a statute of limitations since you were underage, or it may not have expired. From what I've seen, most of the time these guys are not one time offenders.

It's also totally cool if you just want to let it go, it's no easy thing to deal with, as if you didn't already know that.

Alot of women think cc is the best resort for situations like this but guns jam, knowing how to defend yourself and immobilize an assaillant hand to hand is fail safe

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Originally Posted by iCandiBallPythons

Alot of women think cc is the best resort for situations like this but guns jam, knowing how to defend yourself and immobilize an assaillant hand to hand is fail safe

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even if the gun does fail, having a heavy chunk of steel to bash someones face in with would be a little better than just your hands. ;)

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Originally Posted by iCandiBallPythons

Alot of women think cc is the best resort for situations like this but guns jam, knowing how to defend yourself and immobilize an assaillant hand to hand is fail safe

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Using your brain is a failsafe, not empty hand tactics or weapons or any other tool in and of itself. I'm not a small guy and am in fair physical shape. I also carry guns, plural, for a living working in law enforcement. I'm also versed in various disciplines of martial arts as well as the use and application of various types of weapons, both small arms and long guns along with a variety of other weapons such as a Taser and various other force options. That said, I don't tempt fate by going into places I shouldn't when I'm off duty nor do I have a need to prove anything by being an idiot and inviting trouble when there is no need to. Being aware of your surroundings and trusting your instincts/6th sense/whatever you want to call it will serve you better than any type of martial arts or weapon ever will. That said, defense in depth: multiple tools at your disposal, should you need them; OC spray/pepper spray, Taser, kubaton, gun, knife/edged weapons, etc. As far as hand to hand combat goes, you're going to lose 70%+ of your endurance in the first minute of a fight, unless your conditioning is on par with an Olympic athlete.

My goal is to end the encounter as quickly and decisively as possible if I'm unable to avoid it or get away from the threat. I want to break that person's intent and train of thought, send them into the OODA loop: Observe, Orient, Decide and Act while I'm already at the ACT! stage of things, whether that be to run like hell, discharge as many rounds as it takes to stop their aggressive action or to engage them in empty hand techniques as a last resort if all else fails. Again, I have no desire to prove anything in a fight with someone and will absolutely opt to avoid the encounter altogether if possible and when possible, provided no one else is in mortal danger. As a cop when I'm working, that's a slightly different ball game but again, I don't rush into things to prove a point or otherwise try to show off/be a hero. I wait for my backup and while I might seek out the criminal element, I try to do it intelligently and again, trust my gut. Off duty, unless my life or someone else's is in mortal danger, I'll be an awesome witness and testify against the dirt bag(s) at trial later on rather than try to be a hero. My goal is to live, whatever the circumstances. For a woman, if that means complying with the rapist, do what it takes to live through the encounter so you can send the sob up after you testify. No one can or should ever judge someone in that situation for doing what they have to in order to live through the encounter. Sometimes fighting back will get you killed while going along will at least allow you to live and far be it from me to judge anyone who did what they had to in order to survive. Just my two cents. A great book for anyone, male or female, is by Gavin de Becker, "The Gift of Fear"; it talks about the importance of trusting your instincts and realizing that there are predators in the world, four-legged and otherwise.

To the OP: Thanks for posting this; there is a lot of great information in there and it never hurts to reiterate it, regardless of how often it's been shared. Thanks for sharing this!

You can also drop a big chunk of steel rendering it useless and can even be turned against victim.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

He was a family friend.

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No he wasn't.

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Originally Posted by BrandiR

No he wasn't.

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Obviously not. But before this we had trusted him.

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Originally Posted by iCandiBallPythons

Alot of women think cc is the best resort for situations like this but guns jam, knowing how to defend yourself and immobilize an assaillant hand to hand is fail safe

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Pull up a video on youtube of a 1000-5000 round glock torture test and take note of how many times it jams. Then take note that most self defense cases end in under 10 rounds fired. Not to mention that your probably better off carrying around a toy gun then nothing, just introducing a handgun into the situation will occassionally make people run. Knowing how to defend yourself and immobolize an assaillant hand to hand is absolutely not fail safe.

All of these self defense hand to hand techniques while good are not full proof, nothing is.

In the end you could be a master gunslinger and BJJ master and still end up getting raped or killed. Sometimes things just come down to luck of the draw. I would advocate women to carry a handgun, pepper spray, a knife, and take MMA/self defense classes, and learn about attacker's psychology but in the end none of those things 100% insure that you will be unharmed when you get into an engagement with a attacker.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

Obviously not. But before this we had trusted him.

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First off, I am really sorry that this happened to you, no one should ever have to go through that and I really do not even want to imagine how this must have effected you. I know you've probably heard it a hundred times but I mean it.

It is also depressingly common that victims of sexual assault know their attacker personally. An upwards of 80% of sexual assault victims were raped/molested by a family member or friend.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

Obviously not. But before this we had trusted him.

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It usually is, and you can bet this wasn't the first time he did something like this. People like that are mentally sick and need to be brought to light or else they will continue to do it to others.

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Originally Posted by barbie.dragon

At the same time fellow ladies don't assume all men are rapists/creepers/sickos! I've heard stories from men that were obviosly being polite only to be called a rapist. But thank you for this post. The turn around and ask a question point is new. Keeping that in mind.

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I disagree with this.

We kind of have to. It makes me sick, but we have to in order to try to be as safe as possible.

I was sexually assaulted (something like that - still not sure what to call it but it wasn't right and left me hysterical and in tears) in a doctor's office.
That has taught me that NO WHERE is safe and NO ONE can be trusted.

I want to echo again... awareness of your surroundings.

I'm naturally suspicious, and as a part of my job have been trained to be aware. (I'm a biologist, I need to be aware of EVERYTHING that is going on around me so I don't get eaten by the mountain lion as I step on a rattlesnake and fall down a ditch while watching a tiny little bird flitting through the trees so I can find its nest.) This has saved me more than once, both on the job and in every day life. I look at EVERY person I pass, and I make sure they know I saw them. I walk with my head up, shoulders back, with purpose in my stride. Twice I have gotten myself out of sticky situations that were destined to end in an assault of some kind, through quick thinking and talking on my feet, while keeping my eyes on the predator, hands free if needed (one time I had pepper spray on me... at the bottom of my backpack, if you are going to carry a weapon, make sure it is accessible or it doesn't do you a damned bit of good), and mapping out an escape route so I could run like hell at the first chance I got. Other times I've watched potential predators appear to target me, locking their gaze onto me and start walking toward me. I checked my body language, making sure I was giving off that "I'm not an easy target" vibe, and watched as they quickly changed their mind. Some day I might find myself in a situation I cannot prevent, but every day I practice mentally for that time so I am ready to do whatever is necessary when it happens.

Bobbafett - I'm really sorry to hear the police didn't take your case seriously. That's absolutely wrong, and infuriating. One of the times I was harassed and could have been assaulted, I told my then boyfriend, and he basically gave me the same response. In fact, he started acting like it was MY fault it even happened in the first place. If that's the kind of reaction victims get, it really is no wonder most rapes are left unreported. :mad:

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I disagree with this.

We kind of have to. It makes me sick, but we have to in order to try to be as safe as possible.

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I agree wholeheartedly that women have to assume they are at risk in almost any situation. It might not be PC to tell a would-be White Knight loudly and firmly to back away from me NOW, but I would rather hurt someone's feelings that unintentially made me uncomfortable than risk that my "uh-oh" feeling was right and I naively gave him the benefit of the doubt.

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Originally Posted by sorraia

Bobbafett - I'm really sorry to hear the police didn't take your case seriously. That's absolutely wrong, and infuriating. One of the times I was harassed and could have been assaulted, I told my then boyfriend, and he basically gave me the same response. In fact, he started acting like it was MY fault it even happened in the first place. If that's the kind of reaction victims get, it really is no wonder most rapes are left unreported. :mad:

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I'm glad to hear he is now a THEN bf. that is completely uncool that he implied it was your fault.

It's not our fault. I don't care if you were "asking" for it because you were scantily clad or were too drunk to say no, that's not alright and it's assault

I don't get that argument. NO ONE is every "ASKING" to get RAPED. I don't care if you are naked walking down the street. Men have a long history of not being able to control themselves.

Rape is never the victims fault. EVER.

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

I don't get that argument. NO ONE is every "ASKING" to get RAPED. I don't care if you are naked walking down the street. Men have a long history of not being able to control themselves.

Rape is never the victims fault. EVER.

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Rape is also very rarely about sex. It's about power over a victim and the ability to intimidate and control them.

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

I don't get that argument. NO ONE is every "ASKING" to get RAPED. I don't care if you are naked walking down the street. Men have a long history of not being able to control themselves.

Rape is never the victims fault. EVER.

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I have a picture I wish I could post, but she's half naked with pasties over her chest and written on her is "still not asking for it"

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

I have a picture I wish I could post, but she's half naked with pasties over her chest and written on her is "still not asking for it"

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seen that on fb, great point.

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

Men have a long history of not being able to control themselves.

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humans*** have a long history of not being able to control themselves. it may not be as common, but women take advantage of men as well. not really gonna go into details, but i was heavily intoxicated one night and woke up next to this girl i remember specifically telling "no" multiple times. come to find out from friends i was passed out on the couch, and people saw her trying to pull me up off the couch and me telling her no. it's the only time i've felt violated like that, and it was a very disturbing and unpleasant feeling. i woke up that morning pretty much having an anxiety attack, and i hardly ever get anxiety. while i kind of chuckle looking back on it (only because im a guy and i deal with emotions a little different), i can definitely sympathize, because i've had a taste (albeit small) of what it feels like. when you state it like that, it kind of groups us all together as "dogs" or "monsters," but there are men out there who actually know how to keep their "stuff" in their pants.. just as i know of a few women out there who cant control themselves either. lol

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

Men have a long history of not being able to control themselves.

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While I could agree with this on some instances, I don't think rape is one of them. People who commit such acts have serious mental disorders.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

I have a picture I wish I could post, but she's half naked with pasties over her chest and written on her is "still not asking for it"

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I saw that on Facebook, I liked it.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I disagree with this.

We kind of have to. It makes me sick, but we have to in order to try to be as safe as possible.

I was sexually assaulted (something like that - still not sure what to call it but it wasn't right and left me hysterical and in tears) in a doctor's office.
That has taught me that NO WHERE is safe and NO ONE can be trusted.

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Uhh, then you are a sexist. You should realize that rape is the lowest occurring of all violent crimes to happen.
That would be like being afraid of black people or tall people because somewhere some tall black guy robbed someone.
Besides being the height of stupidity it is bigotry plain and simple.
Not only that this very attitude makes one less safe.
Any given man is far more likely to help someone, protect someone, etc than to injure or rape someone. But, this very attitude is making it less likely that a man will help a woman.
And, really why should they risk being viewed as a "creep", or "having ulterior motives" as repayment for their taking any risks on your behalf.

Oh, and if you "aren't sure what to call it", I'll help you out.
They are referred to as "medical examinations". They can be embarrassing or uncomfortable without being sexual in the least. Just ask any guy over 50.

as a woman whos been thru being raped, i deeply appreciate this post. all women need to be aware of their suroundings and know what to do when they get into a situation like this... but i must say that even being aware of your surroundings and "knowing" the people around you doesnt prevent from happening in some situations. i thought i knew the man who did this to me and thought i was in a safe place but i was wrong. sometimes these things happen and there's nothing you can do unless you want to die.. to those women who have been through situations like that like i did, stay strong. dont let it rip you apart, that only impowers that person more. YOU WILL MAKE IT THRU. YOU DID NOTHING TO CAUSE THIS, IT IS THEM THAT IS IN THE WRONG.


stay strong ladies <3 ReptileLove

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Uhh, then you are a sexist. You should realize that rape is the lowest occurring of all violent crimes to happen.
That would be like being afraid of black people or tall people because somewhere some tall black guy robbed someone.
Besides being the height of stupidity it is bigotry plain and simple.
Not only that this very attitude makes one less safe.
Any given man is far more likely to help someone, protect someone, etc than to injure or rape someone. But, this very attitude is making it less likely that a man will help a woman.
And, really why should they risk being viewed as a "creep", or "having ulterior motives" as repayment for their taking any risks on your behalf.

Oh, and if you "aren't sure what to call it", I'll help you out.
They are referred to as "medical examinations". They can be embarrassing or uncomfortable without being sexual in the least. Just ask any guy over 50.

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I am DEFINITELY not sexist.

And you are so incredibly wrong its ridiculous. Where are your sources? Are you trying to say that more people get MURDERED than they get raped? Rape is one of the HIGHEST occurring violent crime, in ALL provinces in Canada "Canadian Crime Data 2006". Statistics Canada. Archived from the original on March 7, 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-25.



I suggest you check your sources.
Also take into consideration that many, many, many, many sexual assaults and rapes DO NOT get reported.

I am assuming you are male. Check your god damn privilege. Boo hoo, we must view you to be predators because it is the safest thing for us to do.

And you have NO idea what happened to me in the doctors office. You are so insulting and belittling I am shaking writing this. It WAS sexual assault.
How dare you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Uhh, then you are a sexist. You should realize that rape is the lowest occurring of all violent crimes to happen.
That would be like being afraid of black people or tall people because somewhere some tall black guy robbed someone.
Besides being the height of stupidity it is bigotry plain and simple.
Not only that this very attitude makes one less safe.
Any given man is far more likely to help someone, protect someone, etc than to injure or rape someone. But, this very attitude is making it less likely that a man will help a woman.
And, really why should they risk being viewed as a "creep", or "having ulterior motives" as repayment for their taking any risks on your behalf.

Oh, and if you "aren't sure what to call it", I'll help you out.
They are referred to as "medical examinations". They can be embarrassing or uncomfortable without being sexual in the least. Just ask any guy over 50.

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The bolded section is wrong. Period. This is the problem with a lot of people, assuming the victim is wrong, or being too sensitive. What if she was sexually assaulted in a doctors office? It's not something that has never happened. Don't be so snide to think you know what happened in there, and discount her. That's just as bad, or even worse, than her comment about not trusting any man.

That being said...
I actually generally agree with your statement. It irks me to no end that women believe they have to think EVERY male is going to rape them. It's asinine. It's no different than as you stated, well I should be afraid of all black males because that race/sex combo has a higher crime rate in comparison. I refuse to walk around believing everyone is going to hurt me or kill me because some in the past have. It's small minded, and just plain silly. Why even bother going outside? Be aware of your surroundings, of course. Listen to your little voice, definitely. If something doesn't seem right about a situation, whether it's a man approaching you, or a woman, or a dog, remove yourself from the situation. That does not mean scream when a man stops to help you with a flat tire, or someone tries to help your straying child find help. Not everyone is out to abduct children, or rape people, or kill people.

Stranger danger is a load of crap. The % of abductions/rapes from strangers (compared to known assailants) has not changed much from "the good ol days". We just hear about it a lot more thanks to the internet. We never would have heard about an abduction in California here in Florida back before the internet. It wouldn't have made national news.

I do not tell my children that everyone is going to snatch them. I do not tell my beautiful little girls that if they don't stay inside, people are going to grab them and rape them. I was not raised like that, and I don't intend to raise my children to be afraid of the other 8billion or whatever we're up to now, people on this planet. When there is only 0.01% of those people who would actually do harm to them. I teach them to be aware, and if something seems odd (asking to get into a vehicle, come closer, follow them etc) to be loud, and run. I will still let my girls go to the movies with their friends, or go play in the neighborhood, ride around on bikes etc.

Being afraid of every man, because there are a very small percentage that might do you harm, is like being afraid of getting in a car because you might get into a wreck and die. That actually happens a helluva lot more than stranger's raping women / children, yet we don't fear putting our kids in cars? We tell them to wear their seat belts, and to drive safely. Just like we tell them to be aware, and to act safely by not walking alone late at night etc.

I'm sorry, this just irks me a lot. Men are not pigs, they are not evil, and they shouldn't be feared any more than cars. Be smart, be aware, and if a situation occurs that your fears come to a head, be prepared in how to deal with it (spray, pistol, defensive maneuvers etc), but please stop grouping all men into a lump of idiots who cannot control themselves. It's sickening.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Uhh, then you are a sexist. You should realize that rape is the lowest occurring of all violent crimes to happen.
That would be like being afraid of black people or tall people because somewhere some tall black guy robbed someone.
Besides being the height of stupidity it is bigotry plain and simple.
Not only that this very attitude makes one less safe.
Any given man is far more likely to help someone, protect someone, etc than to injure or rape someone. But, this very attitude is making it less likely that a man will help a woman.
And, really why should they risk being viewed as a "creep", or "having ulterior motives" as repayment for their taking any risks on your behalf.

Oh, and if you "aren't sure what to call it", I'll help you out.
They are referred to as "medical examinations". They can be embarrassing or uncomfortable without being sexual in the least. Just ask any guy over 50.

---

Wow... even with all the recent the jackassery on the forums, I think this post just might win most jack-ass post of the year so far. How can you even in the slightest tell someone what they went through was "just a medical procedure"??? She didn't give many details, you have no idea what went on. This entire post was in extremely poor taste.

I'm actually speechless and almost in tears.

And to RoseyReps:

When something happens to you, such as a sexual assault, a car crash, a house fire, you get hyper-aware and hyper-sensitive a lot of the time.

I'm not going to apologize for being weary of all men because they may feel insulted.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

I'm glad to hear he is now a THEN bf. that is completely uncool that he implied it was your fault.

It's not our fault. I don't care if you were "asking" for it because you were scantily clad or were too drunk to say no, that's not alright and it's assault

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Absolutely agree. This incident I wasn't even wearing anything remotely attractive or scantily (at least not what most people would consider attractive...). I was working at a horse stable, I was dressed for work: jeans and comfortable (not tight) t-shirt. BUT even if I was dressed, that's no excuse what so ever. I was caught me so off guard that it was suggested the situation was in some way be my fault. That was my first clue he needed to be an "ex".

Stranger attacks may be rare, but they do happen.

The near-assaults I experienced were both involving complete strangers. A family member was nearly kidnapped by a complete stranger on her way to school, as a child.

It happens.

And I agree with CatandDiallo, when something DOES happen, it CAN make you hyper-aware, hyper-sensitive, hyper-alert, hyper-suspicious, etc. Part of that is called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Not everyone reacts the same way, not everyone heals at the same rate, not everyone even heals. I personally don't trust any one until I get to know them. That's my survival technique, but I also grew up with abuse in the home. If I couldn't trust my own family, who could I trust?