Assault with a reptile

It was a classic case of love gone wrong in Indiana, Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.

In this case, she really did try to let him down easy, but he was distraught. He was fuming as he barreled out of her kitchen door and into the night.

The brokenhearted Romeo staggered through the fields, the throes of lover’s angst. The he saw his weapon, seized it, and started back to his girlfriend’s house.

In a rage, Romeo returned and chased his ex-girlfriend around the kitchen with a large snapping turtle. He was much faster than Juliet and he easily caught her in the small kitchen, but he couldn’t get the turtle to bite her. Finally, Juliet managed to call the police. The officers arrived, disarmed (deturtled?) the irate lover, and arrested him for assault with a reptile.

The incident marked the definite end of one relationship, but the beginning of another. Juliet thought the big turtle was cute, and she was ever so grateful that he hadn’t bitten her. The girl and the turtle are still together and living happily in Pennsylvania, according to the policeman who retold the story.

Source: America’s Dumbest Criminals
Daniel Butler – Alan Ray- Leland Gregory


Awwh, I love a happy ending. :love:

WOW! What a moron that guy was. Glad she dumped him.

Also that was a happy ending.

Just when I thought people couldn't be any more stupid. :sigh2: She made out pretty well though. No more idiot bf and a cool new pet. :gj:

That was funny.....Made my day. Any day you can laugh at work is a good day.

Hmm I believe the term is "disenturtled" :giggle: What a laugh! Felt a bit bad for the turtle but in the end it and the girl made out okay and the idjit boyfriend is out of the picture. :)

Oh man what a great visual that was. LOL. Thanks for that.

O my god i never laughed so hard :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: .

I like the outcome! Seriously though, that guy should be in a mental ward. I have seen a snapper break a stick with its jaws, that was over an inch thick.. shudder.
What IS it with complete morons being so vindictive toward exes or non-lovers?? I could not care less if any of my exes dropped into a sewer.. going out of my wy to harm them is as point-bearing as counting the dots on a dropped ceiling.

Thats crazy. I heard of one where a pizza delivery boy, was robbed at "turtle point" with an alligator snapper. Crazy what some people will do!


~mike

I would actually be more scared of an alligator snapper, than your standard knife..
Time for a new slogan.. "turtles don't hurt people; people do!"