Need some Joke help

So, my boyfriend is in the National Guard, and he is currently at boot camp. He hates it (duh). So, I'm sending him some stuff that should cheer him up. Could you all give me some funny jokes to send him?
Thanks a ton!

If this joke is too crude, then I'll erase it admin's.

whoa! funny joke but i would think that borderlines the TOS here. :colbert:

Funny nonetheless

If the admins want to delete it, it would be good time. I already copied it. Thanks! he likes jokes like that, i'm sure it'll make him laugh (if anybody has an inapropriate jokes, or ones that they admins would not appreciate, you cam PM or email me)

Go to the book store and get him Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy. Those are freakin hilarious.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by itzazoo

Go to the book store and get him Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy. Those are freakin hilarious.

---

he's not alloud to have books.
I know, rediculus, but whatever.

Things to do on an Elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day
been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on,
ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to
play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask
them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space."