No PUN a Day, No FUN Today! - An Off-Topic Thread xD

Hello guys! I hope you all have a good day! Let me make this thread for the heck of it haha. Reply below all your snake puns, jokes, pick-up lines, funny facts and DYKs, ANYTHING that could make someones day good. If one snake joke,etc. is funny for you, click the "Thanks" button so I can rank the highest. I will also give a shout out to the bp.net user with the most "Thanks" and if I really like one, I will also give a shout out to him or her. Please do leave anything funny relating to snakes or animals even though it is corny or cheezy and lets start making this day happy. Happy Keeping guys! :)

Note : This is an OFF-TOPIC THREAD and this is just made for fun xD

:snake:

Joke #1

A boy was late going to school because he was handling his snake for the first time in his house so he took a long time doing it and thats the reason why he was late.

When he went to school, the teacher asked, "Hey boy! Why are you late?" and the boy said, "I took a long time holding and playing my baby snake".

Everyone laughed.

Joke #2

Breaking News

A report of a giant 30-meter anaconda was found eating a huge amount of prey eating voraciously without stopping.

Preys are suspected to be some small circular object and after three to five consecutive meals, the anaconda would eat a bigger ball-like meal.

The anaconda eat a lot that every time it eats one of those circle things, it becomes an inch longer without shedding and it doesn't stop eating.

Researcher have found a cure to stop this gigantic snake. "Only when he hits a solid wall or its starts trapping itself and accidentally biting his body could bring the snake back to its baby size and it would start to eat again" a researcher said.

The government put down a solid wall enclosure for the snake and tourists would throw circular meals for him to eat.