Time for another joke thread

Like the title says....
I'll start:
A lady walks into a diner and sits at the bar. Waitress comes over and she orders a burger and fries. She sees the waitress hand the ticket to the cook through the pass-through window and is totally grossed out when he starts to patty the burger using his armpit. About to puke, she flags her waitress and says scratch the order, she's leaving. The waitress sees the cook making pit patties and replies "You think that's disgusting? You should show up at five in the morning and watch him make donuts!"

How do you get a nice 80 old women to say the f-word?




Have another nice 80 old women sit next to her and yell, "BINGO!"

a man with a turban on goes into a bar and asks for a shot of black label. then he asks for 5 shots of whiskey and he drinks them real fast. then he asks for another 6 shots of black label and drinks them really fast. the bartender finally asks "why are you drinking so fast" and he said "you would be drinking fast too if you had wut i have in my pocket!" the man said "oh no a bomb" the man said "nope" The bartender said "what then?" and the man in the turban whispered in his ear "75 cents" and ran out the door.

Brian

P.s. i thought it was funny lol

When is it 12 O'clock at Michael Jacksons house?




...


When the big hand touches the little hand.

This isn't a joke, but it's cute anyway.



Friendship Prayer


May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who ruins your day, and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen!


My mom received that in an email from someone she works with in Pediatrics at a S&W Clinic... Of all places! LoL

Well I truely suck at remembering jokes but I can google with the best of them.

Here's a page of snake jokes I found, some kinda cute, some absolute klunkers but all clean enough to tell your gramma.

http://www.yuckles.com/jokes.htm

Let's keep it clean guys, ok? (I may be the mod most picky about this, so bite me!)

:P

I'm picky too, but I haven't seen any foul language or anything too dirty that a 12 year old couldn't handle :) BPBabe is on the younger side(How old are you again? 12-13? If older or younger, I apologize), and the one she posted was perdy dirtay! LoL. But like she said, do keep it clean and appropriate for younger members.

Yeah.. I guess 12 year olds are tougher than I think. Just keep it in mind guys.. that's all I was saying.

I think what we all mean is: Just keep 'er clean enough for your Grandma. ;)