Online bullying......my 16 year old daughter is being bullied

I have a problem here. My 16 year old daughter is being bullied by her classmates on facebook. My little girl sent me a message this morning pleading with me to do something. Here is the problem, my daughter does not even live with me, she lives 3 hours away with her father. I really don't want to get into the details of why she does not live with me. What can I do to help my child? My ex and I had a very ugly divorce and he will not take kindly to hearing from me about our daughter. He does not supervise my daughter on facebook at all. He has no idea this bullying is even occurring. My child is devastated and is reaching out to me for help. I have an obligation to her as her mother to help her even though I am with her physically. Please advise me here folks. I really need to help my child. I am very fearful for her wellbeing because I know what online bullying can lead to.

I would urge her to delete her FB account. She can open a new one under a pseudonym for her real friends. I would also urge her to talk to her father and the school about it.

I don't think that teaching her to "run away" is a good idea.

I would just have her block the members who are bullying her, and teach her to ignore those who are "haters". Throughout her life she will come into situations over and over where she may be bullied, or simply not get along with someone. She needs to have the ability to not let it bother her.

"Thick skin" is an important live lesson.

Yea id just tell her to block them. I don't consider that running away. I ignore idiots all the time lol

Inform the principle of the school...
Schools take cyber bullying very seriously because of how often it happens these days. I just graduated from highschool this year, and I knew a few kids in a similar situation.
The best solution seemed to be informing the school, they always make sure the kids are in a safe enviornment, and they will even move your daughter to a different school if she wants.
Although bullying usually just passes by time, better to be sure that it stops.

I just want to point out just to be realistic - if you 'snitch' on these kids on behalf of your daughter it's not going to make her situation better. She needs to block them, ignore them, or get off Facebook. It's hard to really give advice without understanding more details... but let her know that if she's being 'baited' then she needs to turn cheek and ignore it. Making fun of someone without any kind of response from them isn't very fun for very long.

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Originally Posted by MrLang

I just want to point out just to be realistic - if you 'snitch' on these kids on behalf of your daughter it's not going to make her situation better. She needs to block them, ignore them, or get off Facebook. It's hard to really give advice without understanding more details... but let her know that if she's being 'baited' then she needs to turn cheek and ignore it. Making fun of someone without any kind of response from them isn't very fun for very long.

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I was already thinking about this and I know it could just make things worse. At this point, she has been advised to get off facebook by deleting her account.

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Originally Posted by dbwpgur

Inform the principle of the school...
Schools take cyber bullying very seriously because of how often it happens these days. I just graduated from highschool this year, and I knew a few kids in a similar situation.
The best solution seemed to be informing the school, they always make sure the kids are in a safe enviornment, and they will even move your daughter to a different school if she wants.
Although bullying usually just passes by time, better to be sure that it stops.

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And if they refuse like they did in the case where my AUTISTIC brother was being bullied and beaten to no end threaten a law suit... That might be a bit steep but we had to do that, the principle and asst. principle both said QUOTE to my mothr "we have little evidence besides your retarded sons word, which is nothing"

Bullying is something that's a pain.. In the end the easiest way to try to stop it is just to delete them than work your way up if it doesn't stop.

I won't condone violence....... But that was how I ended the only person who ever tried to bully me in 9nth grade.... Sad that it seems to come to that more and more in today's world..very sad....

I agree with the block and ignore or totally delete the FB account.

Then, on top of that, I would enroll her in a legitimate Gracie Barra Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school. No, I'm not saying she needs to duke it out on fisticuffs. Taking martial arts classes - especially the family-feeling of a Gracie Barra BJJ school - builds confidence in kids and a feeling of "belonging" to a group of people who has your back (which I feel she is not getting at home). It gives kids the desire and the strength to walk away from trouble because they have nothing to prove. If you've seen the movie The Lucky One (yes, yes, sappy boring chick flick, but I like the male character in that movie), the soldier was constantly harassed by the cop. The soldier had the strength to just walk away even when a gun was pointed at him, simply because he has nothing to prove and he recognizes that the cop is simply being a butthead.

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Originally Posted by Rickys_Reptiles

I don't think that teaching her to "run away" is a good idea.

I would just have her block the members who are bullying her, and teach her to ignore those who are "haters". Throughout her life she will come into situations over and over where she may be bullied, or simply not get along with someone. She needs to have the ability to not let it bother her.

"Thick skin" is an important live lesson.

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I completely agree. I know kids these days can be horrible, but if there is anything I learned while being picked on growing up is that if you ignore them and show them it doesn't bother you they get bored and move on. Being thick skinned can help you out a lot in life.

I've seen a lot of stories about kids being bullied online and always wonder why they didn't just block the bullies.

I also hate to say it, but I think it might be a good idea to bring this to the attention of your ex-husband. You are 3 hours away and he needs to keep an eye on her if you are worried about her.