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How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
It's pretty late here, and I got to pondering...how do you respond to negative reactions when people find out you keep snakes/any type of reptile or amphibian? I'm sure similar threads have appeared on here before, but I'm genuinely curious on how to deal with ignorant, or just straight-up rude remarks. Today an old (and obnoxious) "friend" from high school stopped by my apartment today with my best friend, Kels. When my old schoolmate, Lindsey, asked what I kept in the cages, I told her a blue tongue skink and a ball python. Not knowing what a skink was, she asked to see it. I obliged, and the moment I took her out, Lindsey shrieked "Uhhhmmm, that is DISGUSTING. You have a snake too? No wonder you're single!". Now, I've got a lot of flack in the past about owning reptiles, and it's never really bothered me...but this got to me. I believe owning ANY kind of animal isn't necessarily indicative of a person's personality, nor their dating potential.
Kels, who used to be deathly afraid of all reptiles, instantly defended me and the hobby, so it truly makes me happy to see people become so much more accepting of it once educated...but for those who aren't, how the heck do I respond to such remarks without tearing them a new one? It's difficult to try and educate someone on why I keep reptiles, or debunk the myths on why they're so misunderstood when they're incoherently babbling in fear/disgust. I'm just about to graduate with a Bio degree, and am fully anticipating on pursuing herpetology as a full-time career, so I know I'll be dealing with a lot of this in the future, and need to just shrug it off.
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When I met my girlfriend, she was extremely freaked out. In most people that is a natural reaction, snakes are a very common fear. Eventually I worked her up into holding my sweetest snake (also my largest, a female boa). Basically it was baby steps all the way until she felt more comfortable. She still does have a fear, but she is very passionate about reptiles now which I'm very proud of.
My sister is deathly afraid of snakes. I mean all snakes every snake. The only one she likes is the same boa I introduced to my GF. Besides that, she can literally not even stand the sight of a snake, visibly shivers and overall is disgusted. People like her, sometimes it just doesn't get better. And you have to respect that. Try to help people and introduce them slowly, it will be obvious if you come on too strong, and everyone is different.
My sisters husband was born and raised in Ghana Africa until he was late 20s. Talk about real fear there. He is truly, deathly afraid, of any snake. At one point I needed a place to keep my snakes. I was able to work him into letting them stay at their house, but he refused to be in the same room as them. Now fast forward to the future where I have my own house, we're at the point now that I can have one out around him if I was to bring them over. But for people like what he was, I was literally afraid for my snakes life therefore I did not bring them in contact with him at all.
Each of these people have made rude, threatening remarks. But each have progressed in their own way. Some people will warm up, some won't.
Most people are completely ignorant (I still get asked if snakes are slimey, I still get told they will eat me). The best you can do is try to educate them (without being arrogant)
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It kinda depends on how they say it (your friend was VERY rude), but I try to remain calm, informative, and friendly... don't want to feed into their stereotypes, ya know? If somebody gives me a hard time, or says "ewwww," I just reply with something like "I know it's an unusual hobby, but they actually make fantastic pets - and I really enjoy caring for them." That generally shuts them up, sometimes even sparks their curiosity! And once I start showing them photos (if they ask), it usually softens their attitudes a bit. :)
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How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
If I was told I'm single because of my reptiles, I'd say something like "good, because they're much better company than a man/woman anyways".
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How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
Eh if people got problems with my animals they can not come over. Between my snakes, the rats, the tarantulas an the roaches. And the rescued pit i call my baby. I have most people's fears under one roof. I've had people think my snakes are cool an my dog is the devil spawn and I've had people think my snakes are the spawn and then the people who are shocked I sleep in my house at night with all my snakes in the house and a pit bull cuddling with me. I tell them all their my animals if you don't like them don't come over I never forced you here and if your just gonna whine about something I'm not going to change you might as well leave.
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Re: How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
People not liking liking my snakes doesn't bother me at all. If they don't want to be my friend because I have snakes then I'm not friends with them anymore.
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Re: How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
That was a pretty rude comment for her to make. :( Geesh. I haven't encountered any rude or threatening responses, but I have encountered the fear aspect a couple times. Of the people that have seen my snake and were instantly frightened, I was able to talk *most* of them down a bit. They'll stand at a distance from her cage (as if she's going to hop out and snag them :rolleyes:) and just stare at her. Most will make comments like "She's really gorgeous......but don't get her out!" Some will ask questions about feeding and what not...and others will just leave it at "Don't get her out." I like to answer whatever questions people have and sometimes it puts them a little more at ease. After talking for a while, I'll sometimes pick up on a vibe that the person is growing more curious about her, so I'll ask "Are you sure you don't want to see her? She's a real sweetheart!" If they still refuse, I won't push the issue, but a few times I've talked people down enough for them to want to pet her. :D As somebody that used to be deathly terrified of snakes, I'm convinced I can get others to realize that these little guys really are misunderstood. I enjoy seeing people open up their minds to something that they've always been unsure of.
But, again, if they are just absolutely refusing and can't even stand in the same room, I won't go chasing them around with her. :P
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i generally shrug the shoulders and say "it's not for everyone". that usually has put most at ease and got them to ask questions from there, which has generally lead to where and how can i get one. I don't push things at all. but then again they also know where the door is and how to delete my number if they have that much of an issue.
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Re: How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeSmith
how do you respond to negative reactions when people find out you keep snakes/any type of reptile or amphibian?
Let me share a common saying from my days in the army: "mind over matter - if you don't mind, it don't matter!" :)
Essentially, the only reason you can get upset by someone else's comments is if you let them bother you; if you allow yourself to get upset. One of life's secrets to happiness is not letting others determine your sense of happiness. If you like to keep snakes, then what does anyone else's opinion on that matter?
The truth is, everyone has "weird" things they're into. That's what makes us all different and, to be honest, interesting. With 6+ billion people on the planet, chances are there will be an unimaginable variety of interests.
One last thing, it may be helpful to keep your snake thing a "secret," shared only with those who are mature enough to accept your enthusiasm for something outside the mainstream. I really don't tell anyone about my snake-keeping, which solves the problem of dealing with those who would have negative reactions. :gj:
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I just don't care, I love reptiles. Why would it matter what they hink? My ego has already been murdered by my pet rats..:rolleyes:
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