Mini Rant + Suggestions needed.

So, my neighbor (also a life science teacher) approaches me about me letting him borrow a snake to use in his classroom. I agreed and ran though all the care and other things he needed to know. And i set him free. A tub, snake, dimmer thermostat, heat pad, and thermometer. I initially gave him 3 rats to feed this snake and told him where to purchase more or IF he needed me to supply him id be more than happy to do so if he paid. So about 6 weeks went by and i decided to swing b his room to see how things were going. OH MY GOD. He first hadn't fed the snake in 3 weeks, hadn't cleaned the cage, didn't have fresh water (bedding in the water and it was moldy) no thermometer or dimmer in use. and melted tub from the heatpad! Plus to top it off he didn't feed correctly after i showed him how and somehow the snake had an RI.... I TOLD HIM HOW TO SPOT AN RI!!!! what the heck! i love this guy and hes a family friend but really? I give you a pastel ball python to keep for a year and he disrespects me like this? ( i view it as disrespect). i am beside my self. On a good note the snake was of good size so lack of feeding for 3 weeks wasn't that big or a deal, the RI is almost cleared up. I just had to get that out there for snake people to see:D For the suggestions. how do i politely say that i am disappointed and he will NOT be getting the snake back even if "his students will be so disappointed"

Thanks for reading

I don't think saying: "Hey, I'm not comfortable giving this snake back to you to care for since you didn't care for it to begin with" is not polite at all, it's the truth. I sure wouldn't lend him one of my snakes again if he didn't care for it - tough cookies for him. I'm glad you have her back though and she's getting well again with proper care. I'm surprised the heat pad didn't burn her through the tub when left unregulated, yikes.

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Originally Posted by Daybreaker

I don't think saying: "Hey, I'm not comfortable giving this snake back to you to care for since you didn't care for it to begin with" is not polite at all, it's the truth. I sure wouldn't lend him one of my snakes again if he didn't care for it - tough cookies for him. I'm glad you have her back though and she's getting well again with proper care. I'm surprised the heat pad didn't burn her through the tub when left unregulated, yikes.

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melted it.and im pretty sure the RI is because she was on the opposite side of the tub where it was TOO cold to escape the heat

I'd be honest with him while not being rude, even though I know that may be hard to refrain from doing. That is completely unnecessary especially since you set him up.

That sounds like a very...odd proposition. I doubt the guy will give you any grief about it, but don't make up a "my wife wants it back"/"the kids miss it" line.

Just lay it on him, as long as you said in the beginning "here's how to care for it" and added a "any questions or concerns just ask" then just lay out your concerns, and what you want to happen. If you're in the same school, make a habit of stopping by DAILY to check on the snake. Feed it yourself, if you feel do inclined.

I personally wouldn't mind lending out a snake of my for educational purposes. I mean, my wife is 3/4 the way through a bachelors in teaching for high school biology. We've already discussed me displaying some of my reptiles in her class room and I've made it clear that I will be micro managing every aspect; even if I'm there every day of the week. That's just the way I am about my reptiles. I have a room mate with me right now too, he's well informed that anyone friends he has over the snakes stay up.

If you really want the snake back in proper care, immediately, then just go get it. It's not his property after all. The snakes welfare is more important than a wow factor in a classroom.


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"I'm sorry but I gave you very specific instructions on how I wished you to care for my pet. Because you failed to follow through on most of the instructions, put my pet at risk with a dangerous set up, allowed my pet to become ill and did not treat the illness, I will not allow you to care for my pet again. You may tell your students that until you can follow the instructions given, you will not be displaying any of my animals again."

Since you went overboard with specific instructions, to make it as EASY and FOOLPROOF as possible and he failed in so many ways, I would not really attempt to sugar coat much of anything.

You could also point out it was the equivalent of him taking your dog and tying it out in the sun without water or food for 3 days while it was sick. 3 weeks without food isn't a big deal, but unregulated heat, untreated RI, no fresh water, filthy conditions... that's neglect and endangerment.

On a side note, I've ALWAYS ended up regretting every single pet I've sent into a classroom situation to date. Every time, they say "I'll do it right" and every time the animal ends up in a poor situation, underfed, without proper heat, unregulated heat, dirty or no water, dirty caging... EVERY time. I'm sure that there are wonderfully responsible teachers keeping classroom pets in flawless conditions. I sure haven't encountered them myself yet.

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

That sounds like a very...odd proposition. I doubt the guy will give you any grief about it, but don't make up a "my wife wants it back"/"the kids miss it" line.

Just lay it on him, as long as you said in the beginning "here's how to care for it" and added a "any questions or concerns just ask" then just lay out your concerns, and what you want to happen. If you're in the same school, make a habit of stopping by DAILY to check on the snake. Feed it yourself, if you feel do inclined.

I personally wouldn't mind lending out a snake of my for educational purposes. I mean, my wife is 3/4 the way through a bachelors in teaching for high school biology. We've already discussed me displaying some of my reptiles in her class room and I've made it clear that I will be micro managing every aspect; even if I'm there every day of the week. That's just the way I am about my reptiles. I have a room mate with me right now too, he's well informed that anyone friends he has over the snakes stay up.

If you really want the snake back in proper care, immediately, then just go get it. It's not his property after all. The snakes welfare is more important than a wow factor in a classroom.


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its not with him. he wants it back. He teaches about 20 mins away. I didnt mind lending it out.... but i do mind neglect

Well, that's good. I would tell him to invest in an animal of his own. By that, I would hope it would teach him that there's a lot that goes into the care of it.

Stay firm, he had a chance and so easily squandered it.


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The way to deal with it is through polite confrontation. You want to keep a friend and also keep the animal safe. There are several ways about going through with it and you know your friend better than anyone on the forum. You also know how you approach people the best. So, remember polite confrontation and fix the situation. It is in your control.

"The kids will be so disappointed"

What a joke, and no freaking excuse for a second chance at neglect. I'd be livid if something like that had happened, especially after the lengths you went to make it as easy as possible. I bet the melting plastic fumes didn't help the RI at all

It would be absolutely in the realm of politeness to just say "I don't wish to put my animals back in your care after the state I found my snake in." Maybe offer to bring your animals in for a show and tell sort of thing. If he wants a snake in the classroom, he can buy one himself to kill (or hopefully learn how to do it properly and see why you wouldn't give him yours, who knows)