Something I wrote..."Where As"
Well, since I deactivated my facebook account I haven't really shared any of my writings. Figured I'd toss it on here and see what everyone thinks. Hope you enjoy.
Where As
Where as,
The hollowed drum played instrumental notes incubating a dying love of her and I
Where time was defined as minute seconds between shattered hearts that beat off key
As open doors became the locked closets we buried the skeletons of our past, hoping not to be resurrected through faith or fragments of prayers that lingered in our broken home,
Often we prayed to much,
Hoping for peace of mind in a war zone of mixed emotions where chaos was a tactic of self defense
Confusion and lies became the voice of the people and language all but ceased to be in a home where ghosts need no words to speak
Here,
We do not bury our dead, we let them roam within our walls invisible to the living yet the living have nothing to live for
And surcome to the death they joyfully seek
Where as,
Open invitations for hugs offer no closure among interlocking fingers,
While the smell of your flesh produces the natural reaction to regurgitate our ingested love
I can no longer hold back the emptiness of this relationship and set sail,
Riding the current while falling tears drown out the sound of breaking hearts
As we drown together,
Blindly looking off into the distance saying we didn’t see this coming
Distance seems to be the only thing holding us together
While our words are falling apart, unglued from the promise of forever,
“Together” reverts back to to get her, as I am unclear where to get her from
Our series of unfortunate events has spawned the offspring of envy and resentment
And I fear that I will get soul-custody of our children
And I fear they will look to much like the mother who birthed and abandoned them all the same
As they shall question what love is
I fear I have questioned their existence as they look to me for answers that do not exist
And I become the example of what not to be
Where as,
All the time in the world could not recollect itself and bring us back to the forefront of the love we use to have
Past is the definition of things lost and forgotten when the term love is involved
And it seems that we were to involved in the theory of self
Thinking that our thesis in the study of one another was every fault that we could find
We are now walking the very lines of our self made cracks at the foundation of what could have been a happy home
Now the walls are crumbling,
Shattering like the mirrors you broke because you didn’t like the person staring back at you,
It seems though, that I’m the one cursed with your bad luck
Picking up the pieces, so as not to walk among broken shards of yourself
Breaking my back, bent over backwards for reasons that are still unclear to me
I suppose though,
That’s one of the crazy things about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you while you’re trying to act like this failing relationship doesn’t hurt
Seems silly pride gets in the way of true feelings when men aren’t allowed to cry
I’d die for a verse in this dying love song that we’re singing
Maybe my lines will change your mind and make you stay
Instead of walking out our now broken home, leaving me with our broken children, picking up broken shards of what use to be the girl I knew.
By: Bryan Lazarus Johnson
