How would you handle this?

Since all my roommates have decided they want to move back in with their families, I went to my parents to ask them if I could move back in at the end of my lease. They were okay with it until I told them I was keeping my boa (my ball python is going with my boyfriend, his mom outright REFUSES to even be in the same house as Satin) which set my mom off. She's "not thrilled" with the idea of a pet that's "not really a pet", and my dad's not all that more into the idea than she is. My mom's afraid for the dogs (both are WAY too large to be eaten, but I'm assuming she's afraid my boa will somehow get out and constrict/attack them) and says she feels VERY uncomfortable with the idea of a large snake in the house. I have made it clear on multiple occasions that I will not give up my snakes, and my dad asked me "if we say no to you keeping her here, will that be a deal-breaker? Think about it." which, roughly translated, means "if we tell you you can't have her here, are you going to change your mind and basically cause us to be more disappointed in you than we have been because we think you're making a stupid decision to keep a snake over making a 'smart' choice?" (I'm really not being a "teenage drama-queen", they really are like this... I understand they want what's best for me but my parents and I have NEVER been close, especially my dad and I).

I want to move in with them to save money and make life a little easier for myself but I took on a responsibility when I got my snakes and they're my passion. I feel like asking me to give them up is equivalent to asking me which hand I'd rather cut off. I love them dearly and I don't feel I can part with them. It's an odd situation because I understand that there are people that don't like snakes, but I feel I'm a very responsible owner and they don't even need to see her since she'll never leave my room except to go to the vet's or the equivalent.


And before anyone says it, I offered for them to come and at least meet her once, but they refused flat-out to do that.

The snake will be kept in a locked enclosure so theres no chance of it getting out correct? I would ask them to come up with some ACTUAL reasons why they dont want her in the house. Try explaining its your passion and even tho they dont see her as a pet you love her.

If they still refuse i would get your own smaller/cheaper place and say screw them. I cant imagine parents refusing and pretty much disowning their own daughter over something as stupid as this. At this point i would completely stop talking to them. If your dad says something like, "oh you really wanna make the stupid decision of keeping your snake instead of moving in?" i would snap back with, "id rather live with a stupid snake than with stupid people."

This^ is all what i would do, not saying you should though. I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

The snake will be kept in a locked enclosure so theres no chance of it getting out correct? I would ask them to come up with some ACTUAL reasons why they dont want her in the house. Try explaining its your passion and even tho they dont see her as a pet you love her.

If they still refuse i would get your own smaller/cheaper place and say screw them. I cant imagine parents refusing and pretty much disowning their own daughter over something as stupid as this. At this point i would completely stop talking to them. If your dad says something like, "oh you really wanna make the stupid decision of keeping your snake instead of moving in?" i would snap back with, "id rather live with a stupid snake than with stupid people."

This^ is all what i would do, not saying you should though. I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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I agree compleatly. Tell them how much snakes mean to you, and that it isnt just a minnor hobby that will go away. And if they don't understand and will not let you keep her, then it isnt worth it. The snake means a lot to you, theres no giving her up, they either have to put up with that or it wont work.
But i hope everything works out! Good luck.

Yes, her enclosure has windows for doors, meaning they latch shut. She's been in there for a year and with the exception of that one time of someone leaving her door open, she has never gotten out.

If it does come to an "it's us or the snake" standoff, I love my family, I really do, but I would get my own place. I'd never ask someone to give up their pet (unless, you know, it was a lion or a tiger or something, but hey, if that was the case then I'm pretty sure I'd never ask to live with them in the first place lol) and I know how awful it feels. I had to give up my pitbull about 2 years ago, and even though he's with a great family who loves him very much, I've never gotten over it. I told myself I'd never give up another pet unless it was the best thing for them (ie. they were sick/injured/etc and needed rehabilitation/etc.)

Yeah you gotta explain what it means to you to keep that snake. Maybe you should show them some facts. The biggest reason parents or just people in general dont like snakes is because of ignorance. They hear things on the news and in articles that give snakes a bad rap. It seems like everyone thinks that all snakes get 20 feet long and can eat the whole family and are extremely venomous. My dad tells me he is afraid that one of my BPs is gonna get out and eat my daughter even though the biggest they get is 5 feet long and is completely incapable of such a feat....

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I can be extremely stubborn and emotionally unnattached when it comes to people pissing me off haha.

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Me too...

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Originally Posted by Andybill

Me too...

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Its a gift and a curse, isnt it? :rofl:

You live in a state that has Powerball Xfenrir?

Odds of winning Powerball jackpot:
1 in 175,223,510

Odds of being killed by a non-venemous snake in a whole year-
1 in 691,590,909

There were only 8 cases of constrictors killing someone in the US from 1990-2008. In almost 20 years only 8 cases. Your pitbull was way more dangerous a pet. There are like over 30 deaths from dog maulings in the US EVERY year.

Now im no math guru but i think ill stick with my DEADLY KILLING MACHINES! lol

It's not that they have misconceptions about snakes, they just are more "fuzzy animal" type people (which there's nothing wrong with, I love fuzzy animals as much as the next person) and they just can't understand why someone would become attached to a "wild" animal. I just love snakes, and the fact that they aren't a domesticated animal. You will never be their "master" and working with them requires a level of respect for what they can do. Granted, my boa isn't the largest snake out there, but if she was around my neck, she could definitely suffocate me. But I respect that she can do that, and I don't put myself in a position to let that happen.

Basically, they can't understand there being a bond between a person and a snake because it's really one-way. A snake will never "love" you like a dog or a cat. But to me, that's what makes working with them even cooler. I've always loved all animals, covered with fur or scales makes no difference to me. :)

I don't have much to offer in this. My parents have been pretty accepting of everything in our home. They started with very strict limits on number of and size. . . then it got breached on the size limits when I got my BCI. . . Ever since then it has been the one snake my mom has hated the most. . . I've pulled him out, let her pet him, understand who and what he is, but all she sees is 7 ft of muscle that will kill me one day. . .

I will say this though. Things can change. While I was out in Hawaii, my mom was taking care of my collection. She will work with any of the animals python wise, balls, Carpets, and yes, even the burmese. But the Boa she said was the limit. . . During my time away, Bubba spilled his water. She told me the story of her walking by the enclosure and seeing him look so sad that his water has spilled (doesn't happen often, but sometimes he knocks it over). Since this was on day 2 of my trip, she got over her fear and opened the cage on her own account, pulled out the turned over bowl, and cleaned it / filled it with fresh water. When she put her hands back in the cage the boa "bowed to her" as she gave it the water back . . . Since then, she seems to fear it much much less and has become accepting of it. I know this is probably a rare case of parents and snakes, but there is always hope. Make sure your parents realize how deep your passions are for what you believe with your snakes. Make sure they understand its basically a hairless cat with no legs. . . Since the situation is hard to analyze from an outsiders point of view, this is all probably moot, but hopefully it finds some ease to your mind.

Yeah, the situation is unfortunately difficult. A friend of mine actually flat out told me the other day to get a dog cause a tank of fish or a snake will never "love" me. Which, I my opinions on whether reptiles and fish are more capable emotionally than people think, but that is for another time. I'm finding reptile/fish people are of a "special breed" which "normal" people will not understand.

Anyway aside from moving in with the parents what other options could you pursue?

Possibilities:
-Get another less expensive apartment with the BF?
-Get another less expensive apartment with the BF and possibly other roommates?
-Get another less expensive apartment with other roommates?
-Rent a house
-Move in with another family member? aunt, uncle, cousin?

I know the goal is to save money but it sounds like your parents value their ignorance over their daughter.

Other alternatives:
-Force them out of their own home using the mafia or some awesome scheme involving cockroaches and sporks
-Force them out by having half of the people on this website to move into your parents' neighborhood and forcing reptile house warming parties for 6 months straight at their house
-Hit the lottery and not share it with them while you live in a mansion once owned by Ray Lewis or Cal Ripken Jr. and turn the basement is a reptile palace
-Buy a boat, live on the ocean
-Raid their house like a buccaneer would raid a port, take them hostage and make them walk the plank.