Have you ever wondered.....

Have you ever wondered why life keeps dragging you along? Why when all you wish, with all your heart, is just to lay down and rest no one will let you? Why people all around keep touting the gifts of life when all you see is darkness? People sing of the joy of life and you hear the screams of pain and sorrow? Have you ever wondered WHY am I here?

The sun is out and warm and all I see is shadows and all I feel is pain. I reach out to touch life and my hand comes back bruised and bloody. People say....don't talk like that...don't think like that. So you mask the pain and darkness. You pretend all is well until one day it is all too much to bare. The soul withers and the desire to keep it alive fades into a distant memory.

Have you ever wondered why?

I'm not sure if that was meant rhetorically or not, but I'll take a chance and offer my own point of view anyhow.

Here is what I believe....

Life drags ALL of us along. All of us have shadows in our lives. We all have pain. We all end up bruised and bloodied. Every single one of us.
We also all have sunshine. We have joy. We have moments of thrilled wonder that are balms to the soul. Every single one of us.

Each and every one of us has to make a choice. Do we turn our face up toward the sun? Or do we stare morosely at the shadows? Do we allow the wonders and joys of our world to heal the hurts? Or do we ignore life's medicines in favor of picking at scabs?

Choosing to accept life's GIFTS is not the same as pretending everything is ok. Not the same at all. There is no pretending within your own heart. What you choose is what defines you. What you choose to focus on is what you will see and feel and absorb into your spirit. No one else can fix that for you. No one can show you differently. Only YOU can CHOOSE which sides of life you want to define you.

No one can choose for you, but it's never too late to change your own mind.

I just want to say that I hope you are feeling better, also- I love the way it was written. I remembered a poem by Charlotte Bronte and thought maybe it would help;
Life
LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !

I wonder why almost daily, but then I remember this.....Life is a contact sport, not playing isn't an option.

I try to focus on life's small joys and the journey rather than the goals and bigger things which are often a source of frustration.

The feel of a good stretch or yawn
the feel of jeans on your skin
the softness of a blanket
the play of sunlight on the floor
the obliviousness of an animal
the smell of summer air
the sensation of a hot bath

try to recognize despair as a chemical interaction in your brain, not as reality
and get help! seriously!

Thank you all for your support. Suffering from major depression and many other health problems sometimes gets to me. This hobby and forums help a lot. Concentrating on next season, watching the babies grow and get big reminds me that life is what we make it. But, sometimes I forget. LOL I just wanted to say thanks and won't go all mushy on you all.

Life does indeed drag all of us along. and it is the randomness of day to day that makes life beautiful and painful at the same time. Its what opens doors to great things and slams shut on what could have been. Most importantly it is what allows us to help others and have a positive impact on someone else's life and be apart of the beauty of the randomness of life.

Personally, I believe that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by akaangela

Thank you all for your support. Suffering from major depression and many other health problems sometimes gets to me. This hobby and forums help a lot. Concentrating on next season, watching the babies grow and get big reminds me that life is what we make it. But, sometimes I forget. LOL I just wanted to say thanks and won't go all mushy on you all.

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I totally understand where you are coming from. I too have depression and some days are tough, real tough. This hobby really does help a lot. I find taking care of the snakes to be be very relaxing and rewarding. And yes, this forum is a great place with a lot of great people. Just concentrate on what makes you happy and helps you get through your days.