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  • 06-11-2011, 07:55 PM
    bruster
    Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
    I've been talking with my wife some about this recently and I think I'm going to walk away from the snake scene for a while. She is completely terrified of having them around, and it doesn't help that her parents always bring up snake killing people. Even tho i try to explain to her that it comes from poor owners and there housing and feeding. It is effecting our newly marriage slightly. I don't exactly know how long, but I am going to give my brother my male and female Red Blood Pythons. I was hoping to pair them for the first time this year but, my leave that up to him. I have other pets and my pic up something new after my brother take the bloods.
  • 06-11-2011, 08:28 PM
    thewesterngate
    No offense meant at all, but this is probably one of the reasons I prefer being single. I would get so peeved if my partner had a negative affect on my reptile keeping. :oops: I hope it all works out, though, and it's nice to know your brother can take care of your babies and you can still visit them?
  • 06-11-2011, 08:54 PM
    MarkieJ
    Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
    That sucks, but if it's putting a strain on your marriage... I guess you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I was in a relationship about 5 years ago in which I had to give up my snakes at the time (a handful of normal ball pythons). Love makes you do silly things. Fortunately for me it wasn't something as permanent as marriage. When that relationship collapsed, I got back into it, and with the collection I have today, there ain't no woman that'll come between me and my snakes.

    Hopefully you'll be able to get back into it as well (with your marriage intact :P). Maybe a man-cave's in your future!

    Mark
  • 06-11-2011, 09:30 PM
    Lferg
    I think your doing the right thing. Marriage isn't easy, especially a new marriage. You have to make concessions for each other. She might come around to it after a while, if you don't respect her wishes it could cause some resentment. If snakes mean more to you than youre wife than choose the snakes, if you love her like (I assume) you say you do, you should make her comfortable. When your marriage progresses so will trust and that means that she will begin to trust you and your abilities to know what is safe for your household. My wife and I have been through a lot and we have made lots of concessions. Everything we have compromised on are now things we have done for each other. It's a beautiful thing. :D
  • 06-11-2011, 10:29 PM
    Amon Ra Reptiles
    I'm sorry to hear that my ex-wife was the same way now I am blessed to have an amazing girl who loves my snakes as much as I do.
  • 06-11-2011, 11:07 PM
    mark and marley
    i was gonna say something but no matter how i put it,it would just sound mean.
    if it feels genuinely right and you cant work it out then you gotta do what you gotta do.
    best of luck,and your bro is cool.
  • 06-11-2011, 11:34 PM
    spygirl
    Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
    I know when I showed my husband that I loved him more than my snakes, he never said a word about how many reptiles I have ever again. Now I have snakes, lizards, and participate in falconry and wildlife rehab. Now, his only concern is that I don't spread myself too thin, now that I'm pregnant.

    Sometimes marriage takes sacrifice. I know when we got married, I asked my hubby to limit some of his video game spending. Which he did. And I limited my reptile spending. Now we're about to buy a house and we're welcoming a new baby in August. :D

    Point is, relationships do take work and if you do love each other, then you'll do the work. Is there something she spends a lot of money on? Something that you wish she'd limit? I think having her compromise on something would help your situation a bit. I don't think that's too much to ask of her.

    I wish you both the best of luck. I hope you and your new wife have as much fun as my husband and I do. :)
  • 06-11-2011, 11:41 PM
    smetz
    I started letting my wife be around baby snakes or snakes that were small and just a few.
    Plus she knew how much i enjoyed them , she slowly came around .
  • 06-12-2011, 12:01 AM
    kitedemon
    Lferg posted a really good comment just remember resentment is a two way street. You need to be open to her feelings and she to yours. It is about balance, somewhere you will need to find balance that you both are happy with. That is the really hard part, balance without resentment. No answers here just hard won experience, I hope that everything works out well for you. Best wishes!
    Alex
  • 06-12-2011, 03:21 AM
    Melody
    Re: Think I'm going to take a break from snakes for a while
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by thewesterngate View Post
    No offense meant at all, but this is probably one of the reasons I prefer being single. I would get so peeved if my partner had a negative affect on my reptile keeping. :oops: I hope it all works out, though, and it's nice to know your brother can take care of your babies and you can still visit them?

    I agree id be pissed too, i honestly cant date anyone who isnt into reptiles or at least doesnt mind them...
    Sucks dude..
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