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Judy's Weightloss Journey

Day Fiftyone -- Hold the Course

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I totally spaced on writing yesterday. And almost did today, too. I go through....phases...I guess...not sure what to call it....where it seems like my brain just flips off and stress levels rise for no discernible reason. Could be hormonal? I'm hoping that the frequency of occurrence will decrease over time as my body's overall health dramatically increases. But until then....guess I still have to endure them from time to time...which is what the last couple of days have been. I can't tell you how painful it is even to write this little force my brain to actually work for me. It can be very frustrating, especially when I have important tasks that need to be done. People think it's just "being lazy"...but it's not. There are some genuine mental blocks, and physical issues going on as well. As I said, the feelings of anxiety and stress go up, and often severe fatigue. It can last anywhere from 2-4 days. I'm feeling a tiny bit better this hopefully will feel more on top of things tomorrow morning.

A phase like this makes temptations particularly insidious and difficult to resist. I was sorely craving fast food at lunch today, in a bad way. In the end, I allowed myself a little compromise and went to Subway. They don't have any true whole-grain bread there, but they do have a nice 9-grain bread with lots of fiber. I got that, with just meat or cheese...and just a splash of vinegar for oil. And no chips or soda or anything else like that. A veggie sandwich that I brought home so I wouldn't be tempted by anything else out there. That, and a big glass of ice water hit the spot and seriously helped ease the worst of the cravings.

But now I know...even in this bad phase...I can hold the course and not give up!

I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
- Psalm 16:8

-- Judy

Updated 10-20-2010 at 01:33 AM by JLC



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