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Judy's Weightloss Journey

Day Eleven

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I guess this is where things start getting a bit more personal...and the power of the blog will either make itself useful...or will blow up in my face. I don't want to be maudlin. The last thing I want to do is come out and whine about "how hard" everything is or "how tired" I am, or how I "don't feel like it". my teenage daughter would say.

It IS hard. I AM tired. And I DON'T feel like doing anything remotely useful today. There. That's over with.

The thing can't matter how I feel. If I only make the right choices when I FEEL like making them, then.....well....that's probably why I have struggled so much as I have for the last umpteen years. I don't want to talk about how I didn't go for a walk yesterday...nor how I have no plans to walk today. I don't want to talk about the big glass of chocolate milk I had with breakfast this morning (had to have some protein, right??? ) instead of coffee with splenda. But the point of this blog is to help me be accountable for my, at least in some manner or another, they need to be worked out here. I still don't intend to journal every bite and every step....but if I totally screw up, or blow off the right choices, I need to be able to man up and discuss it here. If I don't...then all I'm dong is listening to myself type.

I HAVE the tools I need to be a success at taking care of myself. Hell, I have a wealth of tools at my disposal...I'm stinking filthy rich with the tools of life. AND I know how to use them! So why the heck is it so darned hard to just pick them up and start putting them to use? I don't know. Does anybody???

The first, and by far the most critical tool is the source of my strength to push through difficult choices and difficult days. A rock solid foundation of unstoppable strength is right here with me all the time....but so often I find myself standing aside in the slipping sand, looking up at the Rock. Why do I work so hard to convince myself that the sand is such a great place to be? I bury myself so deep in it at times...that the Rock beside me looks high and insurmountable. When in reality, I can simply choose to step over to it and abide there. The Lord is my fortress and my strength. There is nothing I can't do when He is with me. But He won't force me to climb back up onto that foundation. I have to take that step of my own free choice.

And so there I am today. Unfocused. Unmotivated. But not unwilling. I feel at the cusp of life-changing choices...and forces around me tug in all manner of distracting directions. "Rest here..." "What's one more day?" "You're just too tired..." "You shouldn't have to work so hard..." "Is it really going to make any difference anyway?" "You deserve to eat whatever you feel like." "You'll feel better if you just give in..." "Rest....."

The voices in my head can all go to hell. My "feelings" are transient and temporary and will no longer have permanent affects on my life. I will stand on the Rock that is my Lord Jesus Christ, and with Him will accomplish EVERYthing that He has set before me to do...which starts with honoring the body He has blessed me with.

-- Judy



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