How do you tell someone that they are mistreating their reptiles?

[icygirl]

I was just wondering what you would do if you found out your friend had herps and was not caring for them properly. Actually for me, it's more of an acquaintance. My friend's brother has two Rhacodactylus geckos. He barely ever cleans up after them, and their tanks are FILTHY. Even one of my friends who knows nothing about reptiles told me that it looked really dirty to her. Maybe as a result of this, one of them is wheezing and probably has an RI - this has been going on for some time now. I know a good vet in the area that I want to tell him about, but if he won't even clean the tanks (which would take 10 minutes! Honestly, they're so small!) do I really expect him to pay for a vet visit?

So I need advice, he is coming over here tonight. I want to bring it up, but I don't want to come off as nagging because then he probably wouldn't listen to me. Honestly, I just feel bad for the poor geckos. The big crested gecko with the RI is really quite beautiful, and I'm afraid it's going to die if it doesn't get helped soon.

What's the best way to bring this up EFFECTIVELY... so that something gets done... I almost want to tell him to give away his geckos but I don't know if he will...

[Creeptastic]

I think you should start off by telling him how much you love reptiles, and are not trying to be rude or make him feel uncomfortable, but that he should take better care, or offer to help him set them up correctly , or find them a new home. Just try not to make him feel stupid or uncomfortable, or he might brush it off and not listen.

[wilomn]

Ask him when and why his enthusiasm for reptiles waned. That leaves it up to him to say whether or not he's aware of how poorly he's keeping the geckos.

[DutchHerp]

I like Creep's advice.

If all else fails, plan a rescue mission.

Later, Matt

[MarkS]

I like Creep's advice.

If all else fails, plan a rescue mission.

Later, Matt

I think the kind of rescue mission you have in mind has another term. It's called stealing and it's a crime.

Bottom line, you can print out a care sheet to give him, you can talk to him about why he no longer cares about his geckos, you can offer to help him find new homes for them, but if he isn't going to do anything about it there is nothing else you can do. Planning a 'rescue mission' is wrong.

[Egapal]

Well step one is to expect for nothing to change and for the animals to die. Thats most likely whats going to happen. Try to keep things in perspective. Many many animals die from neglect. Its a huge problem with fish, reptiles and rodents as they are not as loud and in your face as cats and dogs.

Next I would start by saying, "Man I really do love those gecko's if you ever think about getting rid of them let me know." If you are willing to put your money where your mouth you could change that to, "if you ever think about selling them let me know, I would give you $ for them," insert whatever you would be willing to pay. If thats not the way you want to go, then you could try "I was thinking about getting some gecko's myself so I did some reading about them on http://www.ball-pythons.net. One of the things they said you have to worry about is a respiratory infection and the way they described it makes me think your big crested gecko might have one." If your friend cares at all you can start working on getting things turned around. You could also offer to keep one of them at your place so that the sick one doesn't infect the other one. You could then setup a nice habitat in a tub or something. Show your friend how it should be done. If you are willing you could then let your friend keep the tub and then he or she would have a spare tub to put them in while the other one gets cleaned.

In the end just try to be tactful and know that as soon as you open your mouth you risk making your friend angry. I would do it anyway because any friend that would get angry is not a friend I need.

[Denial]

I had a very good friend in high school that I lost touch with and I actually ran into him in a walmart a couple months back and we started talking and he told me he had gotten into snakes also and wanted me to come check out his collection. Well I drove over there and his tanks and everything were very clean and they all looked very heatlhy except everyones temps were WAY off. He was not heating them right but he thought they were getting enough heat. He never gets on the net or goes to shows so he didnt know about flexwatt and rhp. So I got him some heat tape and went back and fixed up all his cages and he bought a couple thermostats and now everyone is happy. Sometimes its just tough love you just got to tell them and sometimes they honestly dont know they are doing anything wrong.