Lost a Friend This Weekend

[grim reaper in NY]

One of my friends has been badgering me for my Columbian Red Tail Boa that I rescued several weeks ago. He had been to my house several times and fell in love with Merlin. He would always go right over to the tank and take him out, even if I didn't want him to mess with him.
My buddy had two Ball Pythons but lost one this past winter to an unknown cause. The snake died in January and he just buried it this past week after letting it sit outside on his porch in a garbage bag. That in itself bothered the heck out of me.
Anyways, he asked me if I would consider giving him the Red Tail as that was his favorite breed of snake. I had tried to help him in the past with his two B/P' as he kept them housed together with no thermometer, no hides, no humidity guages...nothing that is imperative to the health and well being of a python. I tried in the best way I could to tell him I couldn't let him take my Red Tail. When he asked why, I told him I honestly didn't think he was really cut out to be a snake owner. I explained to him how I have tried to get him to take better care of the one python he has left and he has just brushed me off. I told him I simply couldn't let any snake go to someone who I was not 100% confident was going to care for it the way it needed and deserved to be taken care of.
Needless to say, he got very offended with me and what I told him. I didn't say it in a nasty manner, just laid the facts out plainly so he knew exactly where I was coming from. I dunno, my feelings about the whole deal is this. Why bother rescuing a snake only to give him to someone who is going to treat him the same way, or worse than he was treated before I rescued him? It just doesn't make much sense to me to let a snake go to someone who isn't going to take proper care of it. The snakes I have rescued are starting to show more signs of life and are actually acclimating well to their new homes. The Red Tail especially had a hard time adjusting but is now feeding well and is actually becoming more sociable. I have spent a TON of time with Merlin and he has responded well to my efforts and it shows. His skin is more vibrant, he's feeding on a normal schedule now..the whole deal. I just really feel I would be sigining his death wish if I gave him to my buddy.
To make a long story short, my buddy told me to do something anatomically impossible to myself and stormed out of the house after tossing Merlin back at me in a huff. Thank God I caught him without injuring him. I have resolved myself that this guy will NEVER touch another one of my pets after this outburst. I hated to see things end like this, but I love my snakes and I just couldn't bring myself to let Merlin go to someone who wouldn't take care of him the way he should and deserved to be taken care of.
Was I wrong for taking a stand like this with him? I feel crappy about it, but at least my snakes are safe and sound.

[Denial]

Thats called hard love gotta tell them like it is. I agree not everyone is cut out to be snake owners. I amend you for what you did. Congrats!

[mooingtricycle]

What a jerk.

Id be real careful about this guy.... reactions like that bother me... you dont hurt animals no matter how angry you are. ( Tossing one back at someone is endangering the animal)

I would definitely make sure your house, and windows are LOCKED when you leave. i wouldnt want a vindictive friend to come back and harm the animals.

[Boanerges]

Unfortunately he doesn't sound like he was a very good friend to act like that You did the right thing. If he was truly a good friend and person then that whole situation would have never took place like that. You may have lost a so-called friend but possibly saved the life of your Boa rescue in the process. So kudos to you

[Ladydragon]

I agree. A true friend would accept the truth with grace and dignity and perhaps even heed the advice. He shows that he does not care for the animals as his angry response was to throw the snake back to you before leaving. Lock ALL your windows and doors and perhaps even get a security system. Just from reading this, I get the feeling that this guy would be the type to come back for revenge.

[dracovolans]

You did the right thing!!

I have a friend asking me for a BP for months and every time I try to explain him how to keep the BP he always ask me if he can house him in a old huge display counter that he have in his workshop.

That being said, I always end up the coversation with something else and make my friend to forget about the snake.

[blushingball419]

I know exactly how you feel. I have a friend who I would never give any reptile to, but has unfortunately already acquired 4 ball pythons, a young female red-tail and a corn snake. He thinks he knows what he's doing (he's one of those supposed "experts" on everything ). However, he keeps 3 of his adult balls in the same cage together and often forgets to clean their bedding and make sure they have water. The young red-tail has already had a small RI, but fortunately recovered after I insisted he take it to a vet. He often doesn't feed them for several months at a time simply because "he doesn't have the money." It's just very frustrating because I've tried telling him many, many times not only that they need to eat regularly, but also that the balls need to be housed separately and that they are not social animals. He simply retorts that they must like being together because they huddle together under the cave. It's ridiculous reasoning and I've tried telling him that too, but he just starts getting mad and insulted. I feel so bad for them, but he insists that they are "his." Then the other day he told me he was thinking of getting yet another snake, so I told him straight out that he didn't take care of the ones he had and was ignorant. He also told me to do something anatomically impossible and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore. I just wish I could rescue the snakes somehow.

So I completely understand and it definitely sounds like you did the right thing. Some people really shouldn't own any animals, especially reptiles/amphibians. It's very sad when snakes end up in the wrong hands, so I'm glad you kept that from happening. You were completely justified But I agree with the others that said you should lock your doors/windows. Sounds like the kind of guy who would be vindictive.

[Jenn]

If he's really that desperate to abuse a snake let him get one at the pet store like everyone else. Good job.

[kc261]

I agree with most of what most people have said in this thread. You definitely did the right thing to refuse to give this guy the boa. And window & door locks, as well as a lock on the boa's cage are a good idea, just in case.

I will not go so far as to say that this guy is/was not a true friend. People have bad days. Most people blow up at least on occasion. If this guy has shown other signs of being a true friend, and he comes back and apologizes for his poor behavior, then maybe he really is a good friend.

I still wouldn't give him the boa. The issues with him being a snake owner are much more than just one blow up.

[Oroborous]

You most definantly did the right thing. You may have lost that friend, but he didn't seem like a good one to begin with. And I have to agree with everyone else about the door and window locks, maybe even a secure lock for your boa's cage as well, just to be safe.