something that has been bothering me lately.....

[aaramire]

I have noticed lately that there are alot of threads popping up where people are asking questions about their set-up or why their herp is behaving a certain way, and then when a more experienced member tells them what they are doing wrong and how to correct it, the original poster gets rude and makes unnecessary comments. I dont think this is the right way to get people to help you improve your husbandry or get your herp back to health. Remember, this site is here to help and people give advice in their free time, so please dont take it for granted. There is no point in being rude to someone who is trying to help. If you dont want to take someone's advice thats fine just please treat everyone respectfully.


Just my two cents.....

[BMorrison]

I was kinda like that at first too. Sucks being wrong! lol!

[starmom]

It doesn't suck being wrong- it sucks STAYING wrong!!!! It's fine to not know things and it's normal to err. Big deal. The travesty is when a keeper asks for help and then ignores it or justifies their incorrectness
Go figure.

[LadyOhh]

Let's be devils advocate for a second here:

How many people here like to be told they are wrong? COMPLETELY and utterly wrong???

Most people get on the defensive, thinking that they were not THAT bad off, and therefore come off as rude to the people trying to help.

I'm sure it happens to the best of us, and I know it has happened to me on a few occasions.

No one knows everything. People are here to learn, and hopfully take the advice given without much offense.

Teach a man to fish....

[BMorrison]

Agreed

[frankykeno]

Judy said it perfectly in this statement that is stickied all over this site.

http://www.ball-pythons.net/forums/s...ad.php?t=62494

Coming here to learn about caring for your snakes includes accepting that you need that help (or why else ask the question in the first place). It means the snake's needs are more important than your ego. It means taking in a lot of information, shifting through it all, validating it and doing your own research too. Learning isn't about being spoonfed but it also isn't about being rude to those that take time to try and help.

It also means, however, that in giving out that information we present it in a way that it can be listened to. No one wants to hear "you idiot you've done it all wrong!". I know I certainly wouldn't listen much after that point. As much as we want new people to listen, we need to make sure we are "talking" in a way people want to listen to and can learn from.

[daniel1983]

...alot of times the advice is given by people who have little experience and are just regurging up what others with more experience have said....

....If I was a new keeper and was told I was wrong by a person that did not know what the hell they were doing a month ago....I would be kinda irritated too.

....and most people feel threatened when they are about to get run over by the bandwagon.

[Patrick Long]

...alot of times the advice is given by people who have little experience and are just regurging up what others with more experience have said....

....If I was a new keeper and was told I was wrong by a person that did not know what the hell they were doing a month ago....I would be kinda irritated too.

....and most people feel threatened when they are about to get run over by the bandwagon.

This is a really good post (damn your a smart man Daniel, a smart man!) and I think that it is true right to the tee.

If someone just reads the experience, but does not live the experience, what right does he have to talk about it.

Not bashin on anyone, but new people join here all the time, and ask simple basic husbandry questions, then the next week are answering questions for other people, on "advanced" topics.

I dont know, its a two sided coin, maybe these new people are super fast learners.

it must have been a typo a typo a typo, it must have been a typo it cant be true!!!

[Windridge Kennels]

I believe I know more than the average person does about snakes- but I fully and happily admit that some things baffle me. Like the other day I asked a very basic level question (how long to leave live prey before removing it from a reluctant eater- I knew not longer than half an hour or so, but I wanted some opinions). I'd simply never had a poor eater before. BTW she did eat finally the next day... the secret was leaving the room.

All that said, I would never pretend to know jack about breeding BPs. Since breeding is my goal, I am here to learn, and I have no doubt I will make mistakes, ask 'stupid' questions, and so forth.

I do know my stuff with dogs, and on dog forums am often one of the resident "know it alls" and I try very hard to be kind to beginners. Breeding dogs is frowned upon highly (unlike breeding snakes) and many "experts" attack new would be dog breeders, only to turn them away forever. This saddens me deeply. Too many think my willingness to befriend and help a would be dog breeder means I support their breeding poor quality dogs. Not so... I simply know that I will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar as the saying goes. I imagine it's not so different here... a little kindness goes a long way. At the same time- forget your pride for a few and accept that we all know you wouldn't purposely harm your animals, and we just want to help with advice that has worked for our own much loved animals.

[frankykeno]

Very good points Daniel. That's why I push the whole "validate, validate, validate" thing. I now when I first came here that I didn't know you people from Adam (as the saying goes LOL). I wasn't sure who to listen to so I developed this funny habit I still use to this day.

When I get new information from somebody or on a website I go looking for at least 2 or 3 other independent sources that say pretty much the same thing (maybe not exactly the same but close enough for comfort). I've never been comfortable just nodding and agreeing with anybody without first checking the information and that person out. I've never hopefully come off as disrespectful but it's how I am - I need to really KNOW that what I'm told is the right information to follow by someone who actually knows their stuff.

I think if a person doesn't validate what they take in, then there's no one to blame but themselves if something goes wrong. The flip side to that of course is that being an "insta-online-expert" can be a damned dangerous thing. People ought to just slow down I think and not expect an instant answer without any work on their part or they may well get an instant expert response.