On Sunday, we came home from a mothers day lunch and found our just turned 9 year old Golden Retriever, Riley, limping and panting in pain. We thought he had done something to his back and took him off to the emergency vet. Vet was looking him over and felt a lump on his butt and said what is this? I said it was a fatty cyst, that our vet had looked at back in November and diagnosed and said if it got too big we could take it off, but it should not be a problem. The look on the emergency vets face said it all... so we paid for all the appropriate tests, took painkillers and antibiotics home with us, and set about waiting to find out.

So Riley's vet called today, and it was not the news we wanted-- it is cancer, a type of tumor called a spindle cell tumor which can be aggressive, or moderate/mild, depending on grade, which they won't know without a full biopsy.

We have some options, and will be starting with an ultrasound tomorrow to find out if this thing has spread to any other organs. If it has, then basically we are just looking at maintaining his quality of life for as long as we can.

If it has not spread, then we will meet with a veterinary oncology specialist. S/he can do a surgery to remove the tumor and get clean edges without taking his leg. So long as the cancer does not/ has not metastasized, this will keep it from being an issue and will improve his longevity. I feel like I already let him down in not insisting on a needle biopsy of this stupid lump when it was tiny. Praying I get the chance to make up for it.

Vet said his lungs and heart are totally clear and his blood work looks great. Just a matter of seeing how his back end is. I am totally devastated and struggling with anger over the whole situation and guilty feelings that I failed to do right by him and have basically killed my dog.