Phone messages

[padiente]

So I got a celll the other day and I want a good voicemail message, but being ill and all I am having a hard time coming up with one. Any suggestions would be wlecome. I don't like my messages to be boring, but this is a little different than a regular answering machine, so I am not sure where to start. Thanks

[Cthulhu]

You have reached Ritual Sacrifice.
For goats, press 1.

I miss Angel.

[Brandon.O]

I always like the ones where you go.............Hello ? hello ?? who is this ??....OOPs just kidding this is an answering machine ! leave a message.

Called my friends phone and he had it on there, it was pretty funny, i was like hey, hey ?? this is brandon.....i felt really stupid afterwards.

[led4urhead]

I can't answer the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

And this is the one i currently use

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why i'm not here. So leave a message.

[Super_Smash]

hahaha..... i just changed mine tonight. Have you ever heard the song "Banana Phone?" HAHAHA it's a classic. i have that playing when my voicemail starts.

i'd put the cartoon on here, but there's some not-so-nice language. here's the song minus the cartoon!!
BaNaNa PhOnE!!!

basically, my voicemail starts off going "ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone!" hehehe... stupid song, but so darn catchy.

[BallPythonBabe448]

" Howdy ya'll, we aren't here right now, were either sleeping, or on the toilet right now, so if you'd be so kind to leave us a message. Ya'll call back now, ya here?!"

My neighbor uses that one ^

"Hello, we are avoiding your calls right now. THere is no need to leave a message, as it will not be returned. "

That ones funny^

[padiente]

lead4urhead, i would use your first one, only I don't think it would be a good idea considering my job at the moment, I might use that secind one though. My dad used to have one that listed all the words the NSA would listen for in phone conversations one after another and then say, thought you would enjoy that guys, now go change your soiled pants, everyone else, now that they have gone away please feel free to leave you message. It was pretty funny, but now it is likely to get him in trouble so he won't do fun stiff like that anymore

[Shelby]

lol Some of these are really funny. Sorry, I have no suggestions, I have a very boring message on my phone. I'm too shy to put anything funny on it. Oh well.

[green_man]

make a some shooting noises then say "missed ya"

[elevatethis]

Sorry I'm not home I'm down walking in the Spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back. A likely story, but leave a message and I'll call you back!