Getting Over Snake Fear

[RedTailBeauty]

My boyfriend and I have recently decided that we want to move in together. The problem is that he has ophidiophobia and I have 3 snakes. We never really thought about it before, as most of the time when I spent the night, I went to his house and I never forced him to look at my snakes.

However, he's decided that he wants to try to get over his phobia so he can live comfortably with me and the snakes. The thing is, I don't know how to go about helping him. Obviously I don't want to immediately throw a snake at him and make him hold it. I figured we would first start by just watching the snakes in their enclosures and him watching me handle them.

The tough part is I don't have any especially small snakes. My smallest is my 5 ft ball python, who's pretty shy, so I don't know how she would do with someone who is scared of her. My tamest snake is my 9 ft rtb, but because she is so big, I don't want to start him on her. I also have a blood python, who is actually very nice for a blood.

What's the proper course of action to take? When he is ready to hold a snake, which one should I start him on (He does want to try to hold one, I just don't want him to freak out and accidentally drop them.)?

[liv]

Good on him for wanting to learn! I would start with putting the ball on the bed and letting him sit beside it and just pet it. When he is more comfortable with touching it andd understanding how it reacts and moves let him just hold it in his lap. That's how my friend got over it at least!

[TheSnakeGeek]

when i first started dating the girl i'm with now she was terrified of my snakes. if i got my little 500 gram bumblebee out she would be on the other side of the room literally crying. the key with her was to go really slow. if he likes you enough (which i'm assuming he does if yall are thinking of moving in together) he'll want to get over the fear of them for you. i believe that's one of the most crucial keys too. actually WANTING to get over the fear. if someone doesn't want to, they usually won't.

with her i just kept reassuring her she was completely safe and i had been doing this for years and i'm still alive and well to tell the story (lol). we just started out with me holding a snake, and she would touch it on the tail. she'd freak out if the head came towards her so i would try n keep it facing me as best i could. but for a few weeks whenever i'd be cleaning cages or something i'd bring one over to her and just let her touch the tail a little.

after she got use to what they felt like, we were sitting on the bed one night and she let me just set it in her lap. she still didn't want to hold it, but she could sit and look at it being harmless in her lap. eventually she got to where she held it one night. throughout each little baby step she took, i kept reassuring her over and over she was fine, the snake wasn't going to hurt her, and i was right here. the key is taking things nice and slow, at THEIR pace, not yours. it would help if you had a baby ball python or a smaller snake, but since not i'd just use the smallest one you have.

now she comes to all the reptile shows with me and holds the snakes for me while i'm cleaning their cages. she even asks if i can get the retic out for her sometimes because she ENJOYS handling them.

this is her after about 6 months of working with her. she literally use to cry if i was across the room with a snake.

[Mike41793]

Great advice so far^

I would talk with him and find out what he's actually afraid of. Does he think they're cold and slimy? Afraid of getting bit? Afraid that they're venomous? Afraid its going to eat his dog? Just doesn't like the way they move? I usually try and find out what actually scares them, before i even try and convince them to touch or hold them. For some people their fears are just completely irrational, so i sorta leave them be. (For example: my grandma. She will never ever ever ever like my snakes. Ever. I've accepted that lol). When my step brother got a snake, my dad's biggest worry was that it would bite him or get out and constrict someone in the house in their sleep. (Funny to us, but for someone who doesn't know, its a semi-rational fear). Once he told me that, all i had to do was use logic to help him get over his fear. "Dad, shes just a baby. if she can't kill a large rat and eat it, how would you expect her to kill a human...?" Then, as far as being bit, i just had to explain how theyre much more flight over fight, hence why they ball up. It's been over a year since my bro got her and my dad now even holds her sometimes. Does he love snakes? Not by any means. But is he irrationally afraid of them anymore? Nope!

[Neal]

Honestly, the people that I've dealt with that are scared of snakes are usually more scared of my small ones than my big one(When I had my Yellow Anaconda). My mom would actually hold my girl but she wouldn't pet my small snake who was about 13 inches long. Same with a few other people, but what I would do is I'd have them just pet your snakes while you're holding it and show them that the head is away from you, then after doing that sometimes they warm up a bit, or sometimes it takes a few more of the "petting" sessions.

[Mike41793]

Honestly, the people that I've dealt with that are scared of snakes are usually more scared of my small ones than my big one(When I had my Yellow Anaconda). My mom would actually hold my girl but she wouldn't pet my small snake who was about 13 inches long. Same with a few other people, but what I would do is I'd have them just pet your snakes while you're holding it and show them that the head is away from you, then after doing that sometimes they warm up a bit, or sometimes it takes a few more of the "petting" sessions.

This whole post belongs in the out of context thread lmfao

[Rickys_Reptiles]

tie him down. let snakes crwl over him until they get tired and fall a sleep on his belly.

If he doesn't get over the fear, do it agian until he does

[Annarose15]

Good suggestions above. One possibility is just to sit on the floor with him and one of the snakes. Then, sit on the floor with a different snake a different time, and so forth. Whichever one he is most intrigued by is the one he will eventually consider touching and holding. By being on the floor, he can't drop it any distance that will harm them (I use this method with small children ). But don't expect him to be in the same room, touch a snake, and hold a snake all in the same sitting. Let him progress at his pace as he feels less threatened by them.

[Pyrate81]

Good advice so far.


I don't have much to add except for stories.

1. I got a friend accustomed to snakes when we both worked at a Petco. She didn't really care for snakes(especially older or bigger ones) but also wasn't afraid of them either. After I calmed her down with the baby redtails she would walk around the store with up to 3 of them on her at any given time. Unfortunately after she left the store, she had gone back to her "old ways".

2. My grandmother and my mother respected snakes but weren't really thrilled with them either. I got lucky with my "pretty" albino black ratsnake. When we would be at the kitchen table, I'd let him hang out on the table so they could watch/study him. He was also 2-3 feet at that point as well. My cali king helped also because he is kinda "pretty" as well and the african house snake is pretty much a worm so his size was like "that's all, but he's so small?". Once they realized nothing "bad" was going to happen, they would touch him low on his body and eventually my mom came around and now willingly handles any snake I have, even my nippy one(s). Grandma still kept her distance but was more open to them.

3. My new neighbor at my apartment isn't thrilled with snakes so if there is a group of us sitting outside, I'll bring out the house snake and sit a couple seats away from her so she gets accustomed to their presence. She's ok with the "little" guy but anything bigger and she might not sit around. I'm gonna subtley get her to overcome her fear. She's ok with talking about them so thankfully that is one step I don't have to overcome.

4. I know a couple people who have nightmares if you say the word snake or make hissing noises. As much as I'd like to have them overcome the fear, I know it's probably not worth the time and effort.

[Pyrate81]

This whole post belongs in the out of context thread lmfao

Bwhahahahahahaha! Wow, how did I miss that!? I must be getting "clean" in my "old" age.

tie him down. let snakes crwl over him until they get tired and fall a sleep on his belly.

If he doesn't get over the fear, do it agian until he does

^^ this reminded me of the scene in Mighty Ducks when they strap Goldberg to the goal and shoot slap shots at him until he he realizes it doesn't hurt and starts laughing.