Parents and how to deal with them.

[Wadjet]

I'm sure we all have that one person (or several) in our life that hates our reptiles, specifically snakes. How do you deal with it?

I'm currently off at college and live in an apartment that doesn't allow dogs or cats. I got my first snake, a ball python, for company soon after I moved in there. My mom is one of those people who thinks that all snakes are venomous killers that grow to be 20 feet long.I just recently found out that for a year, she thought my Ball Python was one of those huge snakes that are loose in Florida, and that she is just a baby.

I recently adopted a red tail boa from the wildlife shelter that I work at, and I can understand my mom's fear of a boa constrictor. However, I'm pretty certain that the birds of prey I work with at the shelter are more dangerous than my red tail, yet according to her, me holding an eagle on my arm is cool and perfectly safe (even though an eagle could break my arm with their talon pressure). My mom is not scared of snakes, she just doesn't like them and thinks that they are going to turn into the snake from that movie Anaconda and eat me.

My current situation is that my mom desperately wants me to come home and visit for the summer, but yet she refuses to let the snakes in the house. I told her that I wouldn't come home unless my snakes were allowed, as I figured that if she wants me home so badly, then she would accept my snakes and accept the fact that I love them just as much as she loves her dogs. Plus, I don't trust anyone else to take care of my snakes while I'm gone. Now, our phone calls consist of her being sad that I chose my reptiles over her and such, which isn't true, I just don't want to give up my pets just because my mom, who no longer supports me at all, doesn't like them.

How do you guys deal with parents/friends/family members that don't like your reptiles.

[sho220]

How do you guys deal with parents/friends/family members that don't like your reptiles.

I respect their irrational fears and keep the snakes away. Same way I'd expect someone to keep a spider away from me.

How long would you be visiting? For a short visit just ask a friend to check up on them. It doesn't require much...

[carlson]

I don't deal with it. Everyone that knows me knows I'm very stubborn and thick headed. I don't care if people have a problem with any of my animals, and they all know if they come to me with dumb stuff I will tell them in not to nice of wording where they can shove their uninformed ignorant views haha soo everyone knows better

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[Pampho85]

I'm in a similar situation as you, my parents don't allow any pets as they're scared or allergic to almost everything. I'll be going to college in the fall so hopefully during my sophomore year I'll be able to get an apartment where I'll be able to keep a 'caged animal'. Even though my parents really don't like the idea, I have two things to say to them:
1.) I'm a zoology major with emphasis on herpetology, getting a snake would be a stepping stone before I go out into the field and work.
2.) If you want me to come back home, you'll have to let me bring my snake, otherwise you can come visit me in an apartment.

So I'm curious to see how that goes and all haha.

[bcr229]

My situation is a bit different as my husband and I own our home. We also have too many snakes to take with us on a trip. Fortunately both of our families live close enough that visits are day trips or single night overnights. Otherwise, family members who are fine with the snakes come visit, and we go visit the ones who refuse to enter our house.

There is a side benefit to having the snakes - since certain family members, such as my mother-in-law, are deathly afraid of snakes so they will not visit, I don't have to host family gatherings at the holidays.

[liv]

My parents support me in my hobby.. My mom said she knows that I'm going to do whatever I want regardless of what she says, so she can support what I do and hear about the things that go on in my life or be mad about it and not get to know.

If I were you, I'd pick the snakes too. I don't believe in stifling interests, and nothing irritates me more than people who try to stop other people from doing what they love for stupid, petty reasons.

[satomi325]

Been there. Done that. Except with my ferrets than my Herps. I cannot haul my entire rack back and forth. So bringing the snakes home hasn't been an issue yet even though the parentals hate reptiles (and animals in general) anyway . I check on my snakes weekly if I'm on break back home. IF I go home.


However, my parents hate my ferrets. They think they're just some smelly filthy rats. They always ask me why I got them and why I would want to keep such an animal. In fact, my mother cannot bring herself to call them by their names or label them 'ferret' at the very least. They're 'the creatures'. She won't allow them home. I cannot leave them in my apartment since they do need to be fed and out of cage time daily. The snakes give me a little more leniency care wise.
So every time she asks me home, I ask her if I can bring my weasels. If she says 'No'. I tell her that I will not come home unless they're allowed. she does give in and let them come home *sometimes*.

The ferrets are part of the package that is included with me. I got them to keep me company. I didn't want something as large or needy as a dog. And I didn't want a cat. Ferrets were perfect because they're just puppies stuck in small slinky bodies that could get all their daily needs out in within an hour or two. They sleep 18+ hours a day, so it was perfect for someone with a student schedule.
So if they're not wanted at home, I don't want to go home.

My parents had me for 18+ years. I was never allowed a pet even though I've always had a passion for animals. I'm majoring in Animal Biology and Wildlife Conservation Biology. The whole pet thing was just waiting to burst out and and happen 100% either way. My parents are still delusional about me going to med school or dental school to be a human doctor. Its been years since I wrote that path off and told them as such. Its not something I want to do ever. Damn Asian parents. Ahaha.

So if my animals can't come home, I'm not going home . They're my responsibility and now a part of me. They've given me a lot more than my parents in the past few years. I love my animals and if my parents can't accept my passion, then that's fine. They just won't see me on breaks.




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[Pampho85]

My parents had me for 18+ years. I was never allowed a pet even though I've always had a passion for animals. I'm majoring in Animal Biology and Wildlife Conservation Biology. The whole pet thing was just waiting to burst out and and happen 100% either way. My parents are still delusional about me going to med school or dental school to be a human doctor. Its been years since I wrote that path off and told them as such. Its not something I want to do ever. Damn Asian parents. Ahaha.

So if my animals can't come home, I'm not going home . They're my responsibility and now a part of me. They've given me a lot more than my parents in the past few years. I love my animals and if my parents can't accept my passion, then that's fine. They just won't see me on breaks.




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100% agreed! Growing up in a stereotypical Indian household, most of my cousins and my sister are doctors, I'm really the only on straying out into wildlife biology and conservation biology. My dad's always like "I have a friend at John Hopkins if you're still interested!" and he keeps on bringing that up. Even when I worked for my local zoo for a few years they were mad at me, even though I was just an interpreter. So I know a bit what you're going through haha.

Sorry about this off topic post.

[wolfy-hound]

I tell anyone who wants to come to my house about the pet zoo and if they have an issue, they don't come over. I don't take my pets to anyone's house if they would prefer me not to. It wouldn't matter if it were parents or friends or strangers. It also doesn't matter if it's a snake, a gecko, a rat or a dog.

I mean really, would you insist on taking a large dog to a stranger's house for a party, knowing they never allowed dogs in the house for whatever reason? Most folks would be polite and make other arrangements while visiting the stranger's house. Why should we be LESS tolerant of a family member?

To me it's akin to insisting on smoking in someone's house.

If your parents say "No critters!" then go home but stay in a pet-friendly motel and visit during the day. Or stay with another friend nearby who doesn't care if you bring critters and visit back and forth. Or just tell your parents who invested those 18 years of taking care of you and putting up with you stuffing a jam sandwich into the electronics and fed you and worried over you that it's just too much trouble to leave your pets behind for a day or two to visit them.

I figure if I can make arrangements for all my zoo to be taken care of to go off on a convention vacation trip, I can do the same in order to visit family if needed.

[liv]

I tell anyone who wants to come to my house about the pet zoo and if they have an issue, they don't come over. I don't take my pets to anyone's house if they would prefer me not to. It wouldn't matter if it were parents or friends or strangers. It also doesn't matter if it's a snake, a gecko, a rat or a dog.

I mean really, would you insist on taking a large dog to a stranger's house for a party, knowing they never allowed dogs in the house for whatever reason? Most folks would be polite and make other arrangements while visiting the stranger's house. Why should we be LESS tolerant of a family member?

To me it's akin to insisting on smoking in someone's house.

If your parents say "No critters!" then go home but stay in a pet-friendly motel and visit during the day. Or stay with another friend nearby who doesn't care if you bring critters and visit back and forth. Or just tell your parents who invested those 18 years of taking care of you and putting up with you stuffing a jam sandwich into the electronics and fed you and worried over you that it's just too much trouble to leave your pets behind for a day or two to visit them.

I figure if I can make arrangements for all my zoo to be taken care of to go off on a convention vacation trip, I can do the same in order to visit family if needed.

I don't think OP is talking about visiting for a few days, rather moving home for the summer break (i.e. 4 months).