My hopes are dashed....

[kdreptiles]

For a long time, I was trying to decide whether I even wanted to continue living. I have such bad anxiety I can't drive, can't get a job. There have been a couple times in which I have had a lethal dose of pain medication in one hand and something to wash it all down with in the other, ready to end it all.
And, despite the few thousand dollars in debt I placed myself (which was incredible, given that I can't imagine spending $40 on anything much less $4000), I am now on my second semester of my first year in college. I am the first in my family to go to a four-year college and I have had a great time, it has given me some confidence to speak my mind and a will to live. As my grade point average was 3.6 last semester, I was able to apply for the best scholarships, I was able to apply for over twenty of them. I was hoping, praying, even (I am not religious) that I would be granted some additional scholarships so that I could live on campus this fall. It was my dream, and I have had very few of those in my life.
Alas, the award letters went out. I got $0 in scholarship awards. Even if I get a job right away (if anyone will even hire someone who can't make eye contact or form a proper sentence without stuttering and back-tracking) I still would not be able to afford the cost of living there for the 9-month school year, which is about $5,000 including housing, food, toiletries, etc. I am devastated. I am nearing the end of my spring break and now I don't even want to go back. My classes are located in the building next door to where I was dreaming I'd be living, and now it will just remind me of what I am obviously not good enough to get. I am out of options.

Sorry, there really is no point to this except to vent. Please, please, please, if anyone has children, even if you're pregnant, start saving now for their college. It really, really sucks, being alone in all this.

[reptileexperts]

Have you applied for government pale grants? If your income is low enough you may qualify and essentially get paid by the government to go to school if you are approved for a full grant. Unlike student loans they do not have to be repaid its essentially money out there that the government delegates out. Definitely worth looking into.


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[kdreptiles]

Yes, I got the maximum $5550 for federal pell grant, and for this year I got $500 in SEOG grant. That's $6050 for a year, which did not cover all of my tuition and mandatory health insurance for both semesters.

[Royal Hijinx]

Student loans are not the best answer, but they may be where you need to look.

[OsirisRa32]

Hang in there!!! I know debt sucks but in the end it will be worth it and a college education is one of the best things you can do for yourself in this day and age.

Its not a matter of not being good enough...its simply a matter of never enough money to go around to everyone that needs it. Private/student loans (while they suck are an option)...and I strongly suggest applying for anything you can find on a random internet search...even if its some oddball $500 grant from Ireland for having freckles and red hair....seriously there are things like that out there....and while 500$ doesnt sound like much compared to the full cost of a year at college.....2 or 3 or 4 500$ grants add up and quick.

Dont let one loan denial letter stop you from reapplying for anything you can...the worst they can do is say no and a lot of times you can appeal decisions.

[carlson]

If you haven't looked into student loans you should, school is expensive an hard to pay for if your sure of what you want to go for student loans are very helpful. I'm from a way lower rung middle class and the student loans helped me get enough to pay for classes and my school thing then I need to work to pay the bills that are for me to live. I've got 28 thousand in student loans an by time I graduate next year if I don't go for another year I will o 38 thousand, then like six months of being out of school the loan company's have you make monthly payments.

[kdreptiles]

I did also get the maximum $3775 in loans to cover the rest/living expenses (hence the $4000 cost I mentioned in my first post). It's just not at all enough to live there.

[Royal Hijinx]

Where are you going to school? Is it a state school? You may need to look at your location or school to maximize the money you have.

Also, there is usually the option to amass a lot of credits on the community college level and then transfer back in to the bigger university. WOuld maybe give you time to save a little.

There are plenty of jobs for introverted folks out there if you really look. You may even be able to get something where you work from home on your computer or something like that. You my even be able to work for the school itself and get money and/or cheaper tuition/fees/boarding etc...

[reptileexperts]

Yeah, make sure you are going to a school in the state your reside in to avoid out of state tuition bumps. I know during my 4 years of undergraduate and my year of grad I dont believe I ever had a tuition bill over $2400, and most of the first two years of that was done at a community college costing less than $1400 a semester, and they even offered plenty of scholarship help to those who applied. One of my largest scholarships from there covered all but books for my last semester, only 12 people applied for the scholarship and 4 received it. . . Smaller schools have lots of benefits. Keep in mind you're not going to hinder yourself starting small and working your way to a larger university. All the basics have to be done, and as long as you have a degree plan that you can work with, you can even get all your prelims out of the way at smaller schools (Bio 1 and 2, Chem 1 and 2, physics 1 and 2 if you are a science major). These schools have cheaper lab rates versus the univeristy level. Heck, even grad school was less than 3 grand a semester at the local university . . . Good luck!

[Mike41793]

Please, please, please, if anyone has children, even if you're pregnant, start saving now for their college. It really, really sucks, being alone in all this.

I'm in a similar boat and can't stress this enough to people, lol.