I have struggled with my weight and binge eating disorder my entire life. I remember the first time I realized I was overweight. It was third grade and they were weighing us in school. I stepped on to the scale and I weighed 99 pounds. My mom became obsessed with me losing weight. I went from doctor to doctor, trying all kinds of medicines, injections, diet and fitness programs. I went through 4 personal trainers by the time I was 16.
I would have short term success with these plans but my binge eating disorder outweighed all of that. I was eating over 40 candy bars a day. I was going eating 4 or 5 big macs in one sitting. I still have a problem with it but not so much how much I eat, but the fact that I am doing it in secret. Essentially I sneak food.
In the past 18 months I've yo-yoed back and forth between gaining and losing the same 30 pounds about 3 separate times. This past time of gaining weight I am currently 279 pounds, a full ten pounds more than my previous high weight of 269.
I'm a 22 year old college student and I do not want this to be my life. I don't always want to be the fat girl everywhere I go.
Today I'm changing my ways. Even if I slip I won't completely let myself go again.
This picture from last weekend rally bothered me. Seeing my rolls and how wide I am sparked something in me.
More recent pictures
In comparison, these are from February when I was in the low 240s
I guess I just wanted some support and to be open with my weight instead of being ashamed.
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