Frustrated

[Toxic Tessa]

((I'm really sorry for typo's, spelling, and grammar. I am writing this on my phone and am pretty angry.))

I normally don’t post things like this and instead choose to keep them in but I am just so frustrated. I think it will do me good to rant a bit. It has been a very difficult two months. It started two days after my birthday on may 1st where my boyfriend of 8 year left me with the excuse of: “I just can’t be with somebody like you anymore”. By that, he was referring to my current career in EMS and my future one as an Emergency Orthopedic surgeon. He told me that my love for the nitty gritty was disgusting and that I was weird for wanting to cut people open for a living. He said he had been hoping it’d be a passing phase and I’d go into general practice or PA school instead and was disappointed when I got into medical school. He wasn't always this way. After he graduated and got his accounting job he slowly started to change and wouldn't introduce me to friends from his workplace. I asked him why and he said it was because they thought what I do was gross and he thought I'd embarrass him. It's funny how you think you know somebody and then they just turn and show you their ugly side.

This really hurt me as I gave up just about everything for him. My family, my home, and everything I knew. He talked me into moving to the US from Italy, and because of that I haven’t seen my family in over 3 years due to financial reasons. I’m at the point now, where I am 24 and feel like I have wasted a huge part of my life on a dead end.

Then to make matters worse, the next day we had a very combative patient on our hands and when trying to get the stretcher out of the ambulance he rolled the thing… right onto my foot breaking it. So I’ve been out of work because of it when I am already hurting for cash and can barely make rent. Luckily the EMS job compensates me but my other two jobs do not.

That’s not even all. A friend, well not so much of a friend anymore has put me in an extremely bad situation. A few months ago she decided that she wanted to get a cat. I told her several times not to because she does not have time to properly care for it, and lives in the same apartment building as me which does not allow pets (except they are totally cool with my snake). Needless to say she ignore me. I was getting ready to go to class the middle of May when she showed up at my doorstep carrying the cat and a suitcase. When I opened the door she tossed the cat in and told me to watch it till she moved into her new apartment and could come get it. I really didn’t want to as I have several fish in open tanks and my snake. However, she said it would only be for a week and I caved in.

Well, it’s been over a damn month and I still have the freaking cat. He’s a sweet heart but it is very difficult to care for a cat with a broken foot , not to mention feed it and buy liter when you can barely afford to keep a roof over your head. I also am rarely ever home due to being in class from 7am to 5pm daily and then working usually 48 hour shifts on the weekend. If I had the money, a apartment that allowed pets, and the proper time to care for him – I would keep him. However, him just being here is putting me in jeopardy of losing my apartment.

I called her to figure out what the heck was going on and she finally picked up after ignoring my call for two weeks. She told me she wasn’t coming back for the cat and to just get rid of it. I can’t afford to take it to a no kill shelter as it’s 75$, and the humane society is 50$. I have no money and she refuses to pay for it. I would really like for him to go to a no kill shelter as he is disabled and I am afraid that if he goes to the humane society he will just be put down because of his messed up leg (The cat and I are both limpy). I told her this and that it should not be my responsibility to rehome her animal. I have tried to find people to take him in but nobody wants him and craigslist was a bust as well.

She told me to just toss him outside and he’ll figure things out on his own. Words cannot explain how angry that made me. That is not only ill responsible but cruel. I would never do that to an animal, ever, hell, I’ve swerved the damn ambulance for one of those giant caterpillars. It goes against my nature and every moral I have to just abandon an animal.

So in a nutshell: I’m newly singled, can’t even get back into the swing of being single again because I busted my foot, might be homeless soon, and have one of the sweetest cat’s on the planet that I can’t find a home for.

I really just don't know what to do anymore.

[angllady2]

My goodness dear, what a terrific time you've been having.

Ok, one thing at a time. Congratulations on your decision to follow a most noble career choice. Not everyone has the ability to do what you can, but there are thousands of people all over the country who are grateful every day of their lives for people like you. I am one of them.

Second, congratulations on saying good riddance to some bad garbage. { The boyfriend } If he is so selfish, pigheaded and blind to how amazing your gift is, then who needs him ? There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to go the extra mile for a woman like you, and when one of them finds you, you'll be so glad he's gone.

Thirdly, your friend is a not so polite word for a female dog. A big one. If I were you, I would get your landlord involved. Tell him this girl dumped the animal on you, and you have tried to get her to do the right thing, but she refuses and now you are afraid what will happen if he/she finds out without knowing the entire story. He/she may be able to do something about her abandoning the cat.

If you are too afraid to go to the landlord, and you may have good reason not to, the only thing I can suggest to you is to try and find a local rescue who might be able to help. Often times, there are small rescues who can provide foster care while an animal is waiting placement in a permanent home.


And as for being single and stuck at home, well that's what computers and forums are for!

I'm sure there are people here besides me who'd be happy to pass the time with you. Anytime you see me here, feel free to chat me up.

Gale

[dragonsong93]

That's just horrible Things WILL get better! You just have to get thru it even when it's pretty bleak looking.

For the cat, sand (playsand is like $5 for a giant bag!) with some baking soda added to it is a VERY cheap litter option if you are as strapped for cash as it sounds. Also some really good cat foods like 4health are pretty cheap.

[Quantum Constrictors]

There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to go the extra mile for a woman like you, and when one of them finds you, you'll be so glad he's gone.

^^^ This. I want a women like you You are sweet, kind, amazing personality (like seriously its not everyday someone goes out of there way to add me and talk to me on skype ) You have a amazing job that I admire and respect. I totally think what you are going through school to be is awesome. You are a reptile and animal lover. You are European. Hard working, caring,very intelligent and knowledgeable. Most importantly you are strong.

I wish you didnt live all the way down in Texas. I just want to give you a big Canadian Bear hug!

[Toxic Tessa]

@ angllady2
Thank you, seriously. For awhile I actually started believing what he was saying was true, but nipped that in the butt after I got over my pity party. I realized that throughout most of the relationship he really never had anything positive to say to me. I think I was just blind to not notice earlier.

I talked to the apartment manager earlier when I first got the cat and she agreed until the end of this month. She was very adamant about it, and I will try talking to her again. A huge problem is that I am not from this area and my knowledge of shelters i limited. I called several and really can't afford the fees. I have coworkers asking around to see if anybody wants a cat, so I am hoping that one of them gets a yes. I am taking my BP, Kaa, to the vet tomorrow for his first checkup and physical to see how he is doing and am planning to ask the Vet if he may know of any alternatives. I am hoping that will work out for me.

I think most of my frustration is coming from the fact that she put me in this situation to begin with. Friends don't do that to friends.

@ dragonsong93

Thank you! I didn't even think of play sand! I'll have to go nab some tomorrow from walkmart!

[axeman569]

I am a Firefighter/Paramedic myself. Fortunately for me, my wife understands the job. Her dad was a cop. There will be many more people that will like your job but not truly understand the sacrifice that comes with it. It is a calling! My suggestion would be to look for a partner that is in the emergency medical field. They will understand the things you do and see, as well as the shift work. Finishing my degree while I worked full time and raising a family was tough but VERY rewarding. Keep your head up, time heals all wounds. Someday your ex will need someone like you and then he will be grateful that people like us can do what we do. That is when he will regret treating you this way. I am thankful I get to do this job. Chasing a pencil around a desk would kill me. Also, I can relate to the broken foot. I broke my hand my second week into medic school. 17 years later and I am still on the job.

[Kaorte]

First of all, screw that guy! I am a firm believer that there is the perfect someone out there for everyone, he was clearly not your perfect someone. I've never even heard of someone being so disgusted by someone elses career choice that they would go so far as to end a long term relationship... This just baffles me! What an idiot he is!

Don't think of those 8 years as wasted though, just think of now being a new chapter in the book of you I know the broken foot is probably not helping, but it will heal in time and you will be back on your feet.

As for the cat, if I lived closer I would totally help you out. I really would. I can't believe your "friend" would do such a thing to you! And in the end just tell you to dump it outside??? How could anyone do that!! Especially us animal lovers. I second the suggestions to find a small local shelter. The internet is your friend. Call them up and explain the circumstances. If they have half a heart they will take the cat from you at no cost.

Also, I admire people who have jobs like you. I could never do that personally (blood and guts gross me out) but by no means its weird or wrong... Humanity NEEDS people like you!

[Quantum Constrictors]

Yes, listen to all these people! Your awesome Tessa!

[Toxic Tessa]

Some good and funny news all at once. I took Kaa to the vet for a checkup and he is doing fantastic… except… HE is actually a SHE. Well, I guess she is sticking with the name Kaa as It’s been 8 months a little too late to change it to Shanti. \

I am also still stuck with the Cat, the vet didn’t really know anyplace either. I’ll continue to call the small shelters around here and I will try Fuzzy Friends again.

@reptiliachnids
Thank you and it is honestly no problem! I love meeting new people and making friends. Sorry that I haven’t been online much, been very busy with work and school along with all my volunteer gigs. Since I am currently off of work from EMS for healing I have been spending more time at the Hospice I volunteer at. Message me anytime you see me online, and if I am home I answer. Many times it’s actually my phone showing me online but I am in class.

@axeman569
Thank you so much, and I am very happy that you have somebody who understands! Also, thanks for choosing the career that you have. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for the Firefighters who got me out of my vehicle back in 2008 and the medics who took care of me afterwards. It was a very nasty wreck and we still have no clue how I’m still running around haha. I am very thankful as well for this job, I would probably chew my own arm off if I had to sit at a desk all day – I absolutely love the interactions I have with many patients and that I get to be a small part of their lives.

@Kaorte
I was so surprised when all of it went down. I always knew he wasn’t 100% happy with my choice in current and future career, but I never could have even guessed he held such disgust for it. It makes me wonder what could have caused this negative view that he holds.
I feel slightly lame about complaining about the foot, but I am a horrible patients hahaha.

[Kaorte]

@Kaorte
I was so surprised when all of it went down. I always knew he wasn’t 100% happy with my choice in current and future career, but I never could have even guessed he held such disgust for it. It makes me wonder what could have caused this negative view that he holds.
I feel slightly lame about complaining about the foot, but I am a horrible patients hahaha.

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I was dating this guy for nearly 3 years. During that time I got my first snake, second, third and so on and so on... It wasn't until after we moved in together that he told me he didn't really like that I had so many animals. He never spoke up until the very end. :/