Any childfree by choice?

[roseyoungblood]

I'm 28 and getting prepared to make this choice final. I've found myself more adverse to the notion of giving birth the older I get rather than the reverse. In fact, even when I was undecided on the parenting prospect I knew I'd rather adopt. Anyone else on this ship?

Also, I have to say that reactions I've gotten when I've had to say I don't want kids has been interesting. Most women over 35, whether they've had kids or not, have been unanimously supportive. Men of all ages have been either shocked & suggesting something's wrong with me, or are astounded at the notion that there can be a life to live without them. I find it erm...amusing, for lack of a better term.

Sometimes I see where the sexual politics of my state are heading and I think the permanent procedure is best. I don't respond well to hormones anyway. Anyone else understand?

[Jazi]

While I don't exactly consider myself a woman, I would be able to reproduce until gender reassignment would come into play. However, I've got a lot of genetic health issues and never wanted to get pregnant, even as a kid. My genes are screwy and I've got the same things my parents and grandparents have, except the symptoms of them came much much younger for me. I was actually angry at my parents for a little while for choosing to reproduce when they knew it was possible for that to happen, and I'd rather not subject any offspring to that.

Besides, abuse runs deep in my family and I'd like to do the same thing my parents did for one of my sisters. Why have kids that you know will be completely unhealthy when you can adopt an older kid that's been neglected and abused? S'been my goal since I was a very young child when I first heard about my dad and sister's original home lives. I'd rather make a difference to those kids any day.

[roseyoungblood]

Jazi I hope you get to adopt a few kids someday. There are so many that need thoughtful parents! I used to work with some foster kids, some were only infants even, used to break my heart to see them going through the system over & over.

[sleepygeckos]

We are - he never wanted kids and I know I'd be a high risk pregnancy. Now, I'll admit there was about a year in my early 20s that I entertained the idea of kids, but I just couldn't see it happening financially and it didn't hurt that I raised my special needs little brother - I felt burnt out on child-raising before I hit 18.

Even without all the other reasons, I find I don't get along well with a lot people who have kids. Today's accepted style of parenting is very far from what I'd let my kid get away with. My man and I talk about it every time we go out with my dear friends and their (now) 15 year old. She's got to have at least 3 electronic devices going - even if we are out to a "special/expensive" dinner. If she were my kid and couldn't leave them at home, they'd be locked up in the safe... and don't get me started about younger kids! If my special needs brother could be taught to never throw a tantrum in public - well, let's just say I have no patience for it.

The only concern I'd have for you is the procedure you choose. There are a few options out there I hear are less surgically invasive, but has been and remains easier to permanently fix males - it can be done in a pretty quick clinic visit. I only hope you find a safe solution if you do go down that path.

I'm kinda surprised you're finding the guys are shocked. Two of my male friends had the procedure done when they were about 25 or so. Neither were in relationships, but both felt it was the best choice for them and wanted to make sure there weren't any "accidents." I know that sounds horrible to some, but it was their way of being responsible and they knew they didn't want kids. I dunno, just throwing my

[bubblz]

I'm 36 don't want and not having any as long as my IUD doesn't fail me. I use to be on the fence about it but when ever that would happen, I'd visit family members with kids for a bit and changed my mind. I don't know why some people have an issue with it, my body, my choice and I choose not to have any. My family genes have already been passed on no need for me to add to the pool.

But it's still something I hear about from relatives all the time. Some of them just can't see the reality of it not happening.

Just like not every animal should be bred, not every body should or needs to procreate, we would be much better off if half the people that did,.. didn't.

[Brian Fobian]

I'm a 33 year old guy, and I find it difficult, to find a partner, that like myself, doesn't want kids.. I don't hate children or anything, it's just not for me..

I love animals, and I consider myself to be a good person, but when I tell people I'm not really into kids, they look at me, like I'm a freak

[Mike41793]

Im a guy and dont want kids. Ive said it for awhile but im only 19 so everyone tells me im silly and tells me ill change my mind. These are the main reasons why i dont want them:
1. I hate kids. My dad and stepmom try and get me to babysit my step siblings all the time. I hate it. If you have the kids theyre your problem, dont try and pawn them off on me every weekend just bc you "need a break". I dont do that with my bps.
2. Theyre expensive.
3. The way kids are growing up now, like you said with the electronics devices issue, im honestly not sure i it would even be possible for me to raise them the way i would want to. They would be so consumed in electronic devices and media that i feel if i tried to, they would forever hate me bc all their friends would have cell phones and laptops and facebooks in kindergarten.
4. I would inevitably have to deal with OTHER peoples kids who would be 10x as rude and obnoxious as my own.
5. I would much rather just adopt. The kid will already be older. Theyll probably be pretty polite since your giving them a home and showing them love. And I wont have to deal with any younger kids this way lol. Also theres a few different diseases that run in my family that i dont really know if i wanna pass down the risk to my offspring and future generations. (ye im weird and think about that kind of stuff).

If any of you think im crazy too then tell me, but im pretty serious about all of it.

[CherryPython]

I do wan't children, but would never ever look at or call anybody weird for not wanting children. That's just not fair is it? It's a choice everybody has a right to make. I have friends who look at me oddly and say I'm mad because I do want children at some point. There are occasions, after seeing the way certain children behave around their parents (and vice versa!) when I've thought "You know what, if kids are like that nowadays, I'm not going to bother." Only the other day I saw a child throw a tantrum because his Mum wouldn't let him have a tub of ice cream, so he launched the ice cream across the shop and nearly smashed a window. The Mum just shrugged it off and ignored the child... ¬_¬

I think in a few years when I'm ready I'd like to have kids. Adopting has always been in my mind, always. I think there are so many girls, only kids themselves, having children over here just to get a flat and live with their boyfriend who "loves" them so much (and leaves them once he finds out about the baby), it's sickening. And so many kids that need a proper home.

Course, I'm only 21. It'll be a while before I have kids, I want to do so many things beforehand and I may change my mind as I grow up. I hope everyone looking to adopt all the luck in the world

[yz9890]

I can't believe anyone cares if someone else does or doesn't want to have kids. I can't imagine life without mine but I certainly understand it's not for everyone.

I do see a lot if the comments about how terrible other people are at raising their kids or about how terrible the children are from people who haven't had any as at least generalizations and very often probably rationalizations for an already made decision. my good friends sister won't shut up about why she refuses to do that to her body (she doesn't seem very picky about doing other things to it). she's a total mess. a chemical and emotional nightmare. her brothers/sister and mother just smile and inwardly give thanks for her refusal to reproduce. of course i know many mentally healthy and rational women/men who have no plans to have a family. I'm sure some will live to regret it but sadly, I'm also sure some people with children regret it as well. that's life.

kids are difficult, expensive, time consuming, and frightening. and to my wife and I it's totally worth it. to several of my friends, it totally isn't.

[MrLang]

I am 50:50 about it and I know for a fact that people who are 50:50 about having a child should not. It's not far off from the threads here where people rant about irresponsibility because someone got a pet snake that they couldn't care for... just a much larger and unforgivable foul-up.

Later on if I'm financially stable, my partner or I have the ability to stay home to be with the child in its first years, and I've lost my drive to explore the world and suck the nectar from life (or if some day I realize parenthood IS the nectar), then I would probably change my mind. I'd need all 3 of those factors, though.

That's probably never happening.