Spread the Stupidity

[stratus_020202]

I bet you thought this was another pet store post. Not!

I received this in an e-mail, and thought it funny. Would like to share a few smiles on a hot summer afternoon. Some are old, but funny nonetheless. Enjoy!

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
diet coke.

Only in America do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Ever wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery?'

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
stupidity, if you'd like, and send this to someone you want to bring a smile
to; maybe even a chuckle. In other words, send it to everyone. We all need to
smile every once in a while.

[llovelace]

LOL, thanks I needed that

[Jared2608]

Bullet Proof Monk - The monk trying to explain true enlightenment: "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 whilst hot dog buns come in packages of just 8"

I laughed at this, awesome. If you think your hot dog situation is bad, in South Africa they sell the hot dogs in pakcages of 24, and the rolls come 6's, lol!!!

[Egapal]

Thought I would try and take all the fun out of this post.

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

This causes you to walk by things you don't need in order to get to things you do. Its marketing 101. They usually have a drive through if you have trouble walking and many deliver if you can't drive.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
diet coke.

The coke is the worst part of that meal in that it provides no nutritional value. Its just sugar. Cutting out sugar where you can is usually a good move.

Only in America do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.

Only a real criminal will attempt to rob a bank, your average american has no problem stealing a pen that's not chained down.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

American's in general have way to much stuff. Our consumer culture is a real problem in many ways and we would all benefit in the long run by making some changes in this area.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

This practice is driven by the needs of the manufacturers. With hot dogs they normally come 10 to a pound. Meet processors think about meat in terms of pounds. Bakers on the other hand think about packaging and tend to work in units of 4, so 4, 8, 12. That's the way they have always done things. Jumbo hot dogs often come 8 to a pack and some hot dog bun makers are making 10 packs now.

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

First ATM machine is redundant, ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine. Laws require business to provide equal access to the blind. It wouldn't make sense to design a different ATM for the drive through than the one for inside the bank.

Ever wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

The sun tends to fade things hence lightening your hair. Your skin can be damaged by ultraviolet radiation so your skin cells have melanocytes then produce a brown coloring called melanin that protect your cells.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

They can.

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery?'

Because Psychics don't have real powers.

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Because its a word, not what it describes. Just like the word brown is not always brown.

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Because practice has more than one definition and one of those definitions is "to exercise or pursue as a profession"

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid
made with real lemons?

A lot of lemon juice is made with real lemons. Artificial flavor is used for convenience and lower costs. Artificial lemon flavor doesn't cut grease however.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Because broker means "A broker is a party that arranges transactions between a buyer and a seller, and gets a commission when the deal is executed" not "someone who is broke."

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because in the case "rush" refers to, a rush of cars, not, cars that are rushing. In the same way a rush of water can refer a rapid increase in volume of water that is not particularly fast moving.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Because cat food is not made out of mice. It would be cost prohibitive to do so. Cats do not like the taste of mice more than the taste of chicken or fish.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

The story of Noah's arc is just a story.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Because there is still a chance that the governor could pardon the prisoner after the needle is inserted and before the cocktail of drugs is delivered, and it takes about 2 seconds.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Black boxes are not indestructible. They are made from hardened steel or titanium. Cost and weight are two reasons they don't make planes out of the same material. You could not fly a plane made as durable as a black box because it would be far to heavy.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Wool shrinks when it dries not when it gets wet.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

It depends on how you look at it. If you consider an apartment building a bunch of leaving spaces stuck together then the name doesn't make sense. If you look at an apartment building as they came about historically it makes perfect sense. A single building with many living spaces apart from one another, as in you cannot freely walk from one to the other as you would the rooms of a house.

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

No, in this case "con" is not a prefix that modifies "gress", its a complete word much like congregate.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Because terminal also means "situated at the extreme end of something"

[Jared2608]

Still doesn't answer why we get hot dogs in packes of 24 and buns in packages of 6, XD!!!

[jason_ladouceur]

Thought I would try and take all the fun out of this post.

O.k. first of all you failed miserably. your post was even funnier than the OP so thanks for the good laugh.

and second, wow you either type way faster than me or you may have a little too much time on your hands . LOL

[jason_ladouceur]

Still doesn't answer why we get hot dogs in packes of 24 and buns in packages of 6, XD!!!

i don`t see the problem 6x4=24

[Jared2608]

i don`t see the problem 6x4=24

You'd make a fine South African!!!

[stratus_020202]

Thought I would try and take all the fun out of this post.

That was awesome!

[Egapal]

O.k. first of all you failed miserably. your post was even funnier than the OP so thanks for the good laugh.

and second, wow you either type way faster than me or you may have a little too much time on your hands . LOL

I type pretty fast but it was also a slow day at work.