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Thread: Sunday Funnies

  1. #1
    BPnet Veteran cardell75's Avatar
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    Sunday Funnies

    Senior Health Care Solution

    So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do?
    Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
    Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison for life. Since I no longer get around that much, being locked up isn't a big deal There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.
    And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
    IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

    Made in America?
    John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
    (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.
    While his coffeepot
    (MADE IN CHINA )
    was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
    (MADE IN HONG KONG )
    He put on a dress shirt
    (MADE IN SRI LANKA ),
    designer jeans
    (MADE IN SINGAPORE )
    and tennis shoes
    (MADE IN KOREA)
    After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
    (MADE IN INDIA )
    he sat down with his calculator
    (MADE IN MEXICO )
    to see how much he could spend today.
    After setting his watch
    (MADE IN TAIWAN )
    to the radio
    (MADE IN INDIA )
    he got in his car
    (MADE IN GERMANY )
    filled it with GAS
    (from Saudi Arabia )
    and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
    At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day
    checking his Computer
    (made in MALAYSIA ),
    John decided to relax for a while.
    He put on his sandals
    (MADE IN BRAZIL ),
    poured himself a glass of wine
    (MADE IN FRANCE )
    and turned on his TV
    (MADE IN INDONESIA ),
    and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

    AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT
    (MADE IN KENYA)
    Charles B. Cardell
    www.ciderinc.com

    People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing
    it. - George Bernard Shaw

  2. #2
    Registered User zeke's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    all so true. this country has gone to the dogs.

  3. #3
    BPnet Veteran Soterios's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by zeke View Post
    all so true. this country has gone to the dogs.
    And it is only the fault of the people of the republic.

    Everyone loves to point fingers.
    -Paul-

  4. #4
    BPnet Veteran dc4teg's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Soterios View Post
    And it is only the fault of the people of the republic.

    Everyone loves to point fingers.

    some how i just want to blame soccer moms for some reason.......
    1.0 Normal ball python
    and my other animals 1.1 dogs


    BG and Skiploder fan

  5. #5
    BPnet Lifer mainbutter's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by zeke View Post
    all so true. this country has gone to the dogs.
    I want a puppy.

  6. #6
    Registered User zeke's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Soterios View Post
    And it is only the fault of the people of the republic.

    Everyone loves to point fingers.


    At least I'm pointing fingers and not a high powered sniper rifle. And this country is still goin to the dogs.

  7. #7
    BPnet Veteran withonor's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Hmm, those weren't funny at all, I was tricked.
    -David

    0.0.1 Normal Ball Python (Zeek)
    0.1.0 Cinnamon Ball Python (Scarlett aka Big Red)
    0.1.0 Pastel Ball Python (Missy)
    0.1.0 Mojave Ball Python (Star)
    0.1.0 German Shepherd/Austrailian Kelpie mix (Micha)
    0.1.0 Siamese/Stuck Up mix (Ping)
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  8. #8
    Banned
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by cardell75 View Post
    Senior Health Care Solution

    So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do?
    Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
    Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison for life. Since I no longer get around that much, being locked up isn't a big deal There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.
    And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
    IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

    Made in America?
    John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
    (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.
    While his coffeepot
    (MADE IN CHINA )
    was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
    (MADE IN HONG KONG )
    He put on a dress shirt
    (MADE IN SRI LANKA ),
    designer jeans
    (MADE IN SINGAPORE )
    and tennis shoes
    (MADE IN KOREA)
    After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
    (MADE IN INDIA )
    he sat down with his calculator
    (MADE IN MEXICO )
    to see how much he could spend today.
    After setting his watch
    (MADE IN TAIWAN )
    to the radio
    (MADE IN INDIA )
    he got in his car
    (MADE IN GERMANY )
    filled it with GAS
    (from Saudi Arabia )
    and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
    At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day
    checking his Computer
    (made in MALAYSIA ),
    John decided to relax for a while.
    He put on his sandals
    (MADE IN BRAZIL ),
    poured himself a glass of wine
    (MADE IN FRANCE )
    and turned on his TV
    (MADE IN INDONESIA ),
    and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

    AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT
    (MADE IN KENYA)

    BG would like to ask why anyone in America should have a "good paying job" for doing something that requires no skill. Get a skill, then maybe lazy Americans(they are lazy just ask BG) will find a "good paying job". BG has no sympathy for someone who says they can't find a "good paying job" and they have absolutely no skills to do the work required for a "good paying job".

    Americans need to shut the you know what up and take responsibility for why they're where they're at. BG has seen people bust their butt for 50 cents a day, and they're happy they made that 50 cents. As far as money goes, Americans have no idea how good they really have it. Just in case you might be wondering why everyone wants to come to America. It's not for FREEDOM(there are different levels of FREEDOM)....it's for MONEY. It's up to you to decide which one is important to you.

    Everywhere Big Gunns goes he's hears people complaining about their job. There's only one person that can change the position you're in. That's you. If you don't like your job....quit and get another one. If you don't like America, find another country that you like better. America is not the only country in the world.


    BG would like to ask a question. This is for the women out there. If you met a man that had more weapons than anyone. Had more money than anyone. Told everyone he knew what they can do with their weapons. Told everyone he knew how they should run their life. Told everyone he knew that they should have his same morals..."morals" that everyone else may not agree with. Had the power to use his weapons to make other people listen. If they didn't listen he would use his weapons to force them to listen.

    The question is. Would you consider this man the "GREATEST IN THE WORLD"? Or would you consider this man the most "POWERFUL IN THE WORLD". What makes someone, something, or somewhere "GREAT"? BG thinks that question needs to be answered. He hears that word spoken a lot, but he's not sure people have given it as much thought as BG has. BG knows he's "GREAT". He just wonders why people think other things are.....he really wonders when these people have no real experience to tell if something is "GREAT" or not.

    This post may seem a leeetle contradictory, but BG has two hidden messages in it. Let's see who smart enough to figure them out.

  9. #9
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Gunns View Post

    BG has two hidden messages in it. Let's see who smart enough to figure them out.
    Rather condescending neil, rather condescending.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  10. #10
    BPnet Veteran cardell75's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Location
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    Re: Sunday Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Gunns View Post
    BG would like to ask why anyone in America should have a "good paying job" for doing something that requires no skill. Get a skill, then maybe lazy Americans(they are lazy just ask BG) will find a "good paying job". BG has no sympathy for someone who says they can't find a "good paying job" and they have absolutely no skills to do the work required for a "good paying job".

    Americans need to shut the you know what up and take responsibility for why they're where they're at. BG has seen people bust their butt for 50 cents a day, and they're happy they made that 50 cents. As far as money goes, Americans have no idea how good they really have it. Just in case you might be wondering why everyone wants to come to America. It's not for FREEDOM(there are different levels of FREEDOM)....it's for MONEY. It's up to you to decide which one is important to you.

    Everywhere Big Gunns goes he's hears people complaining about their job. There's only one person that can change the position you're in. That's you. If you don't like your job....quit and get another one. If you don't like America, find another country that you like better. America is not the only country in the world.


    BG would like to ask a question. This is for the women out there. If you met a man that had more weapons than anyone. Had more money than anyone. Told everyone he knew what they can do with their weapons. Told everyone he knew how they should run their life. Told everyone he knew that they should have his same morals..."morals" that everyone else may not agree with. Had the power to use his weapons to make other people listen. If they didn't listen he would use his weapons to force them to listen.

    The question is. Would you consider this man the "GREATEST IN THE WORLD"? Or would you consider this man the most "POWERFUL IN THE WORLD". What makes someone, something, or somewhere "GREAT"? BG thinks that question needs to be answered. He hears that word spoken a lot, but he's not sure people have given it as much thought as BG has. BG knows he's "GREAT". He just wonders why people think other things are.....he really wonders when these people have no real experience to tell if something is "GREAT" or not.

    This post may seem a leeetle contradictory, but BG has two hidden messages in it. Let's see who smart enough to figure them out.
    Interesting to say the least, and I MEAN THE LEAST. This is just a post with some jokes. Not meat to be a topic of debate.

    You can take that stuff to quarintine room if you choose.
    Charles B. Cardell
    www.ciderinc.com

    People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing
    it. - George Bernard Shaw

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