Disaster!

[recycling goddess]

i disagree. at least, i disagree about my intentions.

i am not trying to make others afraid to post what they feel... i just simply asking that they remember there's a living breathing emotion-experiencing person on the other side of the conversation... and if they would say it to someone, in real life... sitting across the table from them - to their face... then fine. but if they wouldn't. if they would say it gentler and nicer... then that's how they should post here.

[jglass38]

i disagree. at least, i disagree about my intentions.

i am not trying to make others afraid to post what they feel... i just simply asking that they remember there's a living breathing emotion-experiencing person on the other side of the conversation... and if they would say it to someone, in real life... sitting across the table from them - to their face... then fine. but if they wouldn't. if they would say it gentler and nicer... then that's how they should post here.

I can only speak for myself as one of the people who took her to task (rather strongly) based on what she posted. I am pretty sure if you ask anyone who has ever met me, that they will tell you I am the same person you see here, like it or not. To be otherwise would be two faced and I don't play that. I say it the way I see it. Sometimes people disagree and can convince me where I may have been wrong. Sometimes people disagree and I tell them they are an idiot and that I am right. Just because this is the Internet and words are typed on a keyboard instead of spoken face to face doesn't mean that you aren't going to get called out by people when they see something that warrants it.

[recycling goddess]

I can only speak for myself as one of the people who took her to task (rather strongly) based on what she posted. I am pretty sure if you ask anyone who has ever met me, that they will tell you I am the same person you see here, like it or not. To be otherwise would be two faced and I don't play that. I say it the way I see it.

and if they would say it to someone, in real life... sitting across the table from them - to their face... then fine. but if they wouldn't. if they would say it gentler and nicer... then that's how they should post here.

well then jamie... we agree.

[AkivaSmith]

Something, that I am not sure about...

In New York City, rats are concidered a PEST. They are not concidered PETS. I feed my snake mice and will be moving to rats very soon. But then they will be food.

From what I understand, this thread is in the FEEDERS forum. Therefore the rats were intended to be food. Does it matter if they get fed to a snake or a cat? Food is Food.

I once had a german sheppard DOG grab a 14oz steak off a picinic table and eat it. I was upset, but since it was my dog, I said to my dad (who was more upset) Hey, he is just making sure that he gets his share! Everyone laughed and we put another steak on the grill -- but from that point on, we kept an eye on him when raw meat was around.

[SarahMB]

And now...just as some folks are saying they should be afraid to post a mistake they've made....you, and others, are trying to make people afraid of expressing their honest feelings about an issue.

Excuse me, but I'm not trying to make anyone feel anything. I'm posting what *I* feel, take it and do whatever you (collective) want with it. Personally, I think every person is able to make up their own minds.

I say...if you want to learn from a mistake...post it and learn from it. Be willing to take some criticism...it's not gonna kill you.

I think people are able to learn from their mistakes 1) Before they decide to share their experience with others and 2) without being told they are unfit in the situation due to one incident.

If one side can express their feelings, then so can the other.

And the attitude that the posts in this thread are just harmless opinions is exactly what would make me think that sharing a bad experience here would be an invitation to be torn apart.

Respect for this forum and the community as a whole is absolutely essential to maintain the friendly, welcoming environment we strive for. But "Friendly" and "Welcoming" does not mean there will never be friction or disagreements.

There is a difference between a disagreement and just being plain nasty to other people.

[jglass38]

From what I understand, this thread is in the FEEDERS forum. Therefore the rats were intended to be food. Does it matter if they get fed to a snake or a cat? Food is Food.

Every animal, whether a companion or one to be used for food deserves respect. A cat would instinctively kill a rat and it would be a needless death.

[xdeus]

I tend to say what is on my mind as well, but fortunately I don't type nearly as fast as my brain and mouth function so I get a chance to look over my responses before I hit that "Submit Reply" button.

I've found myself in plenty of confrontations over the years when I knew I was right or I felt I had to voice my opinion, and it would typically turn into a combative discussion where both parties were trying to be heard and at the same time defend themselves.

My wife on the other hand is Mrs. Diplomat. I've discovered that she will usually get things accomplished by being diplomatic and working with the person instead of just shouting their opinion like I have a tendancy to do. So now when I find myself in a situation where I want to smack some sense into the person I'm dealing with, I'll let my wife take over and allow her to actually get something accomplished instead of just letting me and the other person rant and rave.

There's nothing wrong with having strong opinions or voicing your opinion, but when you do it aggressively and accusingly, you usually find yourself not accomplishing much and may even get the opposite results than you intended.

[Entropy]

I can honestly say this time around I was attempting to be humorous.

That said I admit I'm not the same on the forums as I am in real life. I tend to tone it down a lot here.

Judy, GREAT post. Great post.

And Akiva, Jamie's response to your post was exactly what I would have said.

[frankykeno]

Oh why not wade in here. I thought it best to step back and re-evaluate but sometimes stepping back gets nothing done.

As far as tearing into someone for a mistake...sorry but I'm one of the first to step up and talk about my own mistakes, hoping someone can learn from my errors, so no I don't take it lightly when someone blows off a deliberate act as a "mistake" and it puts a living creature in peril. This was not a case of someone asking for help to adjust a problem or sharing something that happened in an effort to educate others. At least that is not how it read.

Next, I'd say what I said in this thread to anyone's face as much as I would online. I don't play keyboard hero, never have, never will. I'll go out of my way to help someone but I don't spoonfeed other adults. I think that's degrading to them and disrespectful to treat someone as if they are not able to face their own actions. That may be harsh but I don't and wouldn't want someone to be any less with me if they truly felt I messed up and didn't take responsibility for it.

Next, Akiva...whether those rats are meant as a prey item or not they do not deserve harrassment by a predatory cat while they are trapped in a 10 gallon tank with their offspring. Part of our love of our snakes, I feel, must be a sense of respect to the prey that sustains their lives. Accidents truly can happen when one has rodents in a home with dogs or cats. It's part of good planning to make sure that whatever we do, we minimize those risk factors. It's also not smart husbandry of a breeder/feeder colony to have this sort of thing happen and ends up wasting time and resources (if you want to look at it from a purely "business" standpoint).

My issue was never only with the fact that rats died. That was a sorry thing and could have been avoided. My issue was and remains with her reaction of blaming a cat for being a cat, being inhumane to the creature in response to her own admission of being mad at herself (but taking it out on her cat) and in the end, this member being upset that we are picking on her and completely missing the point that in this particular case she set herself up to be censored.

Re-read the intial post...this was more about her being frustrated because she had a bad day....sure seems like her rats and her cat had a much worse day and that was my and others concern.

Finally, Aleesha, using smilies to indicate that certain members of this forum are in some way akin to spiders sitting on webs just waiting to pounce on other members is sad and something I never thought to see a moderator at BPNet do.

Judy, lovely post...timely and well said.

[joyful girl]

I am pretty sure if you ask anyone who has ever met me, that they will tell you I am the same person you see here, like it or not. To be otherwise would be two faced and I don't play that. I say it the way I see it. Sometimes people disagree and can convince me where I may have been wrong. Sometimes people disagree and I tell them they are an idiot and that I am right. Just because this is the Internet and words are typed on a keyboard instead of spoken face to face doesn't mean that you aren't going to get called out by people when they see something that warrants it.

ditto

I am 100% the same person on and off line
if I'm not liked because of it.. oh well