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anyone have this problem?
alright so im trying to figure out what to do...alright so yeah im addicted to ball pythons and breeding them is something i always wanted to do but lately me and my boyfriend have been fighting alot because he gets jealous of my snakes and how i go to them to calm myself and he wants me to sell some and keep two atleast anyone been in this before? btw ive been with my boyfriend for two and half years
1.0 black pastel dh ghost clown 'Ezio'
1.0 "dinker" 'Coco'
1.0 pastel lesser het clown 'Link'
1.0 enchi het albino 'Master Chief'
1.0 sable het hypo 'Sephiroth'
1.0 bumblebee het hypo 'Leon'
0.1 lesser het ghost 'Zelda'
0.1 Mojave 'Tifa Lockhart'
0.1 normal dh ghost clown 'Sophia'
0.2 normal 'Baby' & 'Yuna'
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I was in a similar situation. We had only been dating about six months, though. My boyfriend was actually the one who encouraged me to take in my first rescued BP.. but of course, I caught "the bug" after bringing that one home. Then I rescued my second one while we were still dating and friends began to "joke" about the snakes replacing him, which they had not. He quickly began believing them and even confronted me about it. He was jealous of how much I cared for my snakes and refused to even listen to me talk about them. I suppose the snakes were simply the straw that broke the camel's back, though. We broke up two months after I took in my snakes. If he had asked me to get rid of them, I would have broken up with him then and there. But, I realized toward the end of the relationship that I truly did not love him, so breaking up was not very tragic for me (though he ended up regretting it ). If it were someone I knew I loved, I would be forced to make compromises, but so would they.
1.0 '12 Irian Jaya Carpet Python
0.1 '09 Normal BP
1.0 '07 Normal BP
1.0 '08 Pinstripe BP
0.0.1 Nelson's Milk Snake
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0.2 Horses (Egyptian Arabian & Tennessee Walker)
2.2 Dogs
1.1 Cats
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I'd say if he's that jealous of an animal theres a few issues HE needs to deal with before you even need to think of letting anyone go. Personally, I've always said if I enjoy it and I can take care of everyone to the best my ability then I dont care how many I have. It's a great hobby to have! I love it. Breeding and keeping a large amount of animals is a huge responsibility as I'm sure you know. It creates a ton of tension when things don't go as planned or someone gets sick or even breeding season alone it's crazy. My boyfriend refers to me as the dragon lady during this time. Lol no seriously he does. It's def not an emotionally easy process. You shouldn't have to give up something you love based on jealousy though. That's kinda crappy. It's alot of work to even breed and keep just a few. Much less many. For me though it's worth it. I love it, and if he gets jealous at the fact that you have a passion and love for something other than him, I suggest he get a hobby as well.
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lol his hobby is video games and cars honestly im sorta jealous of his video games since he spends hours on it and i have to take the controller away for him to even notice im talking to him but i told him ill get rid of 3 snakes when he gets off the games so he shut up lol im kinda happy im not the only one with this problem i already sold 4 of my snakes in the past but more came in than i sold haha
1.0 black pastel dh ghost clown 'Ezio'
1.0 "dinker" 'Coco'
1.0 pastel lesser het clown 'Link'
1.0 enchi het albino 'Master Chief'
1.0 sable het hypo 'Sephiroth'
1.0 bumblebee het hypo 'Leon'
0.1 lesser het ghost 'Zelda'
0.1 Mojave 'Tifa Lockhart'
0.1 normal dh ghost clown 'Sophia'
0.2 normal 'Baby' & 'Yuna'
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Registered User
My gf says I pay more attention to my bp then her. She says I'd rather go buy a new thing for his tank, then get her flowers. Which is kinda true I suppose. I dunno. Life is about balance, and finding that right balance. It's funny that our partners in life would get jealous over an animal, but it comes to show just how much a part of our lives our snakes and animals are to us.
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Re: anyone have this problem?
well i'm so glad my bf is not the jealous type cuz honestly, having been through that mess with other guys and getting hurt because of it, that's one thing i refuse to tolerate now. my bf went into this relationship with me almost 9 years ago knowing my expectations and the no-no's so he was very well informed if you will.
although he didnt like the fact that i was getting a snake and tried his hardest to bawk about it but in the end he knows animals are my passion and i'm his passion so he just shut his mouth and accepted it. now i just gotta work on him dealing with me having a few more, in the hopefully near future, haha.
my current collection
1.2 kiddos
1.0 better half
0.1 mojave ball python (Nyx)
0.1 Dumerils Boa (Hemera)
1.0 Eastern Box turtle
3.4.? rats (? = litter coming any day now)
0.1 dutch rabbit (Lucy)
my "future hopefuls"
0.0.1 pied cockatiel 0.0.1 white bellied caique 0.0.2 guinea pigs
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Re: anyone have this problem?
wow keyboard your gf gets mad over flowers? she knows that those purty flowers are only gonna stay purty for a few days before they, um, wilt and die, right? for that reason i'm not picky about flowers even though my bf has gotten them for me a couple times. i always accept them gratefully but i dont require them, or any "relationship gift" for that matter, i'm just not a materialistic person. i'll appreciate time spent together more then an object.
my bf is addicted to computer games like warcraft and DDO and that sometimes infuriates me cuz it interferes with him doing the things he needs to do around the house and the "family time" i try to create at dinner. we're always waiting for him to "finish killing a boss" and i'm always like "i'm gonna unplug that flipping computer and you can watch that stupid boss disappear!"
i sound like a crazy monster dont i? i'm not jealous of him playing, i just get upset when he's so busy doing that rather then the things that are more important in life. i'm sorry to me a computer game doesnt even register as a blip on the radar of what's beneficial.
my current collection
1.2 kiddos
1.0 better half
0.1 mojave ball python (Nyx)
0.1 Dumerils Boa (Hemera)
1.0 Eastern Box turtle
3.4.? rats (? = litter coming any day now)
0.1 dutch rabbit (Lucy)
my "future hopefuls"
0.0.1 pied cockatiel 0.0.1 white bellied caique 0.0.2 guinea pigs
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There has to be a balance between your hobby and spending time with your bf, but your boyfriend seems a little insecure. Maybe he should get of the video games and help you out with your hobby so that the two of you are spending more time together, and he realizes that you are not choosing your snakes over him. When I was with my ex I keep my snake collection small because I knew that she didn't really like them, but she never told me that I could not have them. I do the exact opposite when I am told to do something. I wish you the best.
“I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form.” – Winston Churchill
1.0 '10 piebald, 0.1 '10 het piebald, 01 '07 het. Piebald
0.1 '10 lesser, 0.1 '10 albino, 1.0 '11 Black Pastel het. Albino, 0.1 '11 het. Albino, 0.1 '08 het. Albino, 0.1 '10 het. Albino
0.1 '09 woma, 1.0 '10 Pewter, 0.1 '11 Lesser Bee
0.1 '10 Super Cinnamon Woma, 0.1 '10 Mojave Spider, 0.1 '11 mojave, 0.1 Super Chocolate
0.1 '10 Pastel Yellowbelly, 1.0 '11 Pastel Yellowbelly
1.1 '10 yellowbelly, 0.2 '10 normal
0.1 '08 Cinnamon, '08 Normal, 0.1 '10 Orange Ghost, 0.1 Black eyed lucy possible yellowbelly
1.0 '11 Cinnamon Enchi, 1.0 '11 pastave
0.1 '10 coral albino Boa, '10 1.0 Sunglow boa, 11 0.1 Motley boa
0.1 '11 Central American hypo boa, 1.0 Central American Motley
0.1 '11+T Albino Blood, 0.1 '11 poss het. +T Albino Blood
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Re: anyone have this problem?
Originally Posted by python_addict
lol his hobby is video games and cars honestly im sorta jealous of his video games since he spends hours on it and i have to take the controller away for him to even notice im talking to him but i told him ill get rid of 3 snakes when he gets off the games so he shut up lol im kinda happy im not the only one with this problem i already sold 4 of my snakes in the past but more came in than i sold haha
Do yourself a favor. Keep track of how much time you spend with your snakes for a week and how much time he spends playing video games. As a guy who works on computers for a living I get asked a lot if I have played this game or that. I tell people that I can't play games because I love my fiancée. I know that video games take more time than any other hobby so when I didn't have enough time in the week they were the first to go. Now I play very little. Took me 18 months to finish the main story line of Fallout 3, one or two hours a week. Moral of the story is that I am sure you love your snakes, but unless you have 100 I can't imagine they take even close to the time that his gaming takes up. This is simple jealousy on his part. Its a bad sign. I would consider cutting your losses.
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If you allow people to lead you around by the nose in life, it's pretty simple,they will. "Boy friends" and "girlfriends" both have something in common- they are expendable. if they dont accept you for who you are including your passions, dreams and wants out of life there is a simple answer, there are people that will. When I first started dating my fiance she thought I was a nut because I had so many ball pythons until she realized the passion I have for my animals and building this business into the vision that Ive had since I was a small child. I have always been an entrepreneur at heart and that is my other passion- and she has never once said no to either because she knows I take care of what I need to. Is she fully comfortable with them? NO. Is she accepting of it? most definitely, because its so much of my life. We purchased a new house awhile back for after the wedding in july and I have seen a twinkle in her eye as she has seen the process of the big climate controlled ball python room with a walk in incubator come together the last couple of months. The moral here is boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but a true life partner is just that, someone that supports your passions, dreams, and your life wants. If youre with someone that dont- you are sadly wasting your time.
Last edited by iCandiBallPythons; 05-25-2011 at 08:25 AM.
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