Being politically correct

[Shadowspider]

Woman

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

Men

He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a CRAP DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.
He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.
He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.
He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.
He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.
He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.

[python.princess]

Woman


She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

hahaha!!! these are the ones that fit me! sometimes... lol!

[Laooda]

YEA!!!! Those are priceless!!!!!

[jessie_k_pythons]

hahaha I showed that to my husband and he about feel over laughing.