some advice?

[Gurgie]

well, with tax returns coming next month, my SO was telling me what was on his list for goodies when we get the money. He asked me what I really wanted, I said I cant get it now and left it there. He asked me again, and I said, you sure you want to know? he says yes so I told him...

I really want a rainbow boa...very badly.

he wasnt too agreeable to my wants. He got mad for a few minutes...I told him it wasnt something I was going to go out tomorrow and do, but he was still cranky.

I guess what I want to know is 2 fold...

1. what to do when your SO isnt as into snakes as you are?

2. how do I tell him I dont think its fair that he can get what he wants and I cant simply because its another pet?

I really wasnt planning on getting one right now, but in the near future I would love to have a rainbow boa. so what can I do? he said "not in the forseeable future". is that like the equavilent of never?

its not like I dont have space for another snake. right on top of the other 2. works for me. just frustrated that yet again my wants are tossed aside till its something else he wants too.

anyway, any opinions? (my SO is male, not that it matters, so maybe some of you who experienced the same thing can give me some advice?)

[Jay_Bunny]

My SO isn't very fond of snakes and hates the idea of the whole feeding process. When I asked about how comfortable he'd be with a house full of snakes, he wasn't very enthusiastic. I told him I wanted a reptile room when we got a house many years down the road and he agreed but still was not very happy about it.

[kellysballs]

Honestly it all about compromise. You can take the middle ground approch and do the research get the enclosure ready and just continue to talk to him about it (not nagging) and eventually he will probably agree. I let my SO park his chevy 350 on a motor stand in the living room during the 3 months of hurricanes a few years back so he owes me big time!

Have you asked him what his reasons are for not wanting to get one?

[ECLARK]

Wendy, Very simple solution, replace your SO with a herper Dude.


No more problems with future snake wants!

[slartibartfast]

Wendy, Very simple solution, replace your SO with a herper Dude.


No more problems with future snake wants!

LOL

[PipeDADDY]

I am lucky....My girlfriend was sceptical about the whole snake idea. She was a little afraid and didn't like the idea of feeding time. but now.....she is the first one to check on the snakes when we get home. And then....she is first in their room at feeding time putting mice in the tubs. She became involved with the animals. I included her in purchasing decisions, rack solutions, feeding, everything. I asked for her thoughts and opinions and made her part of the whole experience. She now is as much of an owner as I am. We share the hobby. We get excited about shows and raising mice, etc. Anyway...maybe my experience will help you!

[tigerlily]

My husband does NOT like snakes. Not at all. So we've talked and talked and compromised. I will never be able to have the large number of snakes that many of the other members have, but I have to be happy for what I do have.

[Stewart_Reptiles]

Wendy, Very simple solution, replace your SO with a herper Dude. No more problems with future snake wants!

Well Wendy when my husband is not into snakes at all and I have been fascinated by hem ever since I was a kid, is it a problem?


NO because even I my husband & I don't agree on everything, we love each other and want to make the each other happy so give each other support no matter what the subject is.


He is still not into reptiles but it does not bother him to have them in our house either as long as it makes me happy.


Bottom line in relationships you need to compromise and support the other half otherwise I don’t see how it would work in the long term.

[rabernet]

Karl will tell you that I am the most hard headed woman he ever met. I do not respond well to someone telling me what I can and can't do. I'm an adult, we aren't married (although we'll be celebrating our 11th anniversary together later this month).


He is not a fan of snake, but he does love animals. He has responded quite well to each new addition, surprisingly, although he doesn't interact with them. When I first started my interest in ball pythons, I invited him to a herp show, and he said "you go ahead", as he had no interest.

Well, turns out I needed him to go, so we could use his SUV to transport my new rack from the show (herpenclosures), and he reluctantly agreed to go, and I paid his way into the show.

He had a blast! We separated to look at things that interested us, and he'd keep coming back to find me (or call me on my cell phone) and say "you've got to come see this!!!!" I ended up with my rack, and one new snake - and Karl insisted on carrying her around the show in her deli cup that day.

I knew the tides were turning when we went through the Burger King drive through after the show and I had her in my lap and the drive through lady went "is that a snake????" and Karl proceeds to tell her that she was a ball python, and not a dangerous snake and was very beautiful.

I keep him involved by asking him to name some of them, and refer to them as "his" snakes.

For Christmas, he bought me one of those four drawer Sterilite storage things, thinking that I could house more snakes in it. Bless his heart! Although I can't use it for that (it is being used to house the rat and snake supplies), the fact that he did that touched me.

Last week I was cleaning tubs, and I said "Karl - here's your snake J-Lo! Isn't she pretty?" I almost fainted when he rushed over and scooped her up and said "hello J-Lo!!!!!" (he has never voluntarily held, much less intiated picking up one of the kids). We're making progress, slowly but surely.

I went from a man with no interest in snakes and reptiles to one who went to a show with me just to help me transport a rack, who has now been to Daytona and purchased his own crested gecko, to one who asks me on a weekly basis when Daytona is going to be this year! And he LOVED all the people from BP.net that he met there - and thinks Adam is the man! (well, he IS! LOL) and named one of the geckos after Jamie (Uncle Kracker).

Be patient with him, try to involve him in small ways, get him to a show if you can. This worked for me!

[Stewart_Reptiles]

Other thing that worked with me is that I got a normal BP that I picked it out very small (was barely 70 grams) and my husband thought that tiny thing was kinda cute, he slowly warmed up to him not picking up from it's enclosure yet but he does not mind handling him, and he is his favorite, now the bigger ones not found of them but I have hope.

I think my husband interest will grow with that little guy I got, he will propably never be as interested by them as I am but at least the idea of snakes in te house does not bother him anymore.

Keywords are PATIENCE & EDUCATION