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  1. #1
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    A present! (DU DOOM!)

    So I got this new species as a present a few years back- they tell me its a baby human boy?



    It was kind of cute, and I decided I would keep it. How hard could this thing be?......

    Well, it sure did start to have an attitude!.....


    ate all the time..


    made BIG messes....and ate more


    and sooo lazy!!



    It began to drink...


    Sometimes too much..


    and sometimes would drive!!!


    Oh yeah, I caught you!!!


    phew..... daddy's home. "Don't tell him what happened. He wouldn't believe you anyways because im unbelievably cute. See the smile?? Cute."



    I wish someone would have told me how much work a human is... the cuteness is worth it though! I highly recommend humans!

  2. #2
    Don't Push My Buttons JLC's Avatar
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    Re: A present! (DU DOOM!)

    Hehehe....what a SWEEETie pie!!!
    -- Judy

  3. #3
    BPnet Veteran frankykeno's Avatar
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    Re: A present! (DU DOOM!)

    Watch those human babies, especially the boychild ones! They as a species are difficult to raise....they won't stay in their enclosures, they will bite unprovoked, and they seem to develop dribbles that stain everything within a 10 foot radius. Just when you think you can't manage this tricky species, they bust out with an angelic smile or a sticky kiss and you are lost...lost I tell you!

    As they mature this species is best kept in a UCM environment (Ugly Man Chair). Though not attractive these environments are apparently comfortable for this species as they rarely wish to leave said chair. They thermoregulate by repeated trips from the warmth of their chair to the cooler/beer fridge and back...it seems sufficient for their needs. Attempts to remove them from their chair may result in a warning growl so it's best to tempt them out with promises of such favored activities as a beer run, hunting at the electronics store or perhaps communal basking down at the local male hangout (this will involve exposure to females of this species so best review your notes on breeding behaviours).

    Don't worry though, this species at maturity does settle down quite nicely with only the occasional grunt or other bodily noises best not mentioned herein
    ~~Joanna~~

  4. #4
    BPnet Veteran JimiSnakes's Avatar
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    Re: A present! (DU DOOM!)

    What the ??? Is that what I have to look forward to? Not me!!!
    It's All About Boas
    www.jimisnakes.com
    JimiSnakes Facebook Page
    ~Jimi


  5. #5
    BPnet Veteran ddbjdealer's Avatar
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    Re: A present! (DU DOOM!)

    Quote Originally Posted by frankykeno
    Watch those human babies, especially the boychild ones! They as a species are difficult to raise....
    Sounds like we have a volunteer for authoring the caresheet!
    Ken

  6. #6
    BPnet Veteran frankykeno's Avatar
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    Re: A present! (DU DOOM!)

    Hey Ken! Don't even go there. I've got four of the little booger....errr...darlings! 18, 14, 12 and 5....but I finally figured out what was causing them and put a dang stop to it! LOL

    Well at least a care sheet on males would be reasonable. There's no caresheet that can ever cover the husbandry of the hormonally charged teenage girl. For that you just grit your teeth, pray to whatever deity you care to and hang on for the ride! My oldest is almost 19....almost normal again....just in time for the 12 year old female child to start losing her ever luvin mind. Gawd help me (pass the key to the liquor cabinet please!)
    ~~Joanna~~

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