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  1. #1
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    I have had Toref, a freckled tree monitor, for almost a year now, and I am considering re-homing him.

    He's a wild child and has not calmed down at all in the past year. He's defensive and scared and the only reptile I have that I can't handle and don't trust. He's a lot of work and isn't even a display animal since he hides every time I come in the room.

    Below is the link to where I address re-homing him specifically.

    https://ball-pythons.net/forums/show...Monitor/page13

    My question is, what do other reptile keepers think about re-homing an animal that's a poor fit?

    Am I giving up on him? I am doing wrong by him?

    I think that's anthropomorphizing, but I have yet to re-home a reptile as an adult (me being an adult - not the reptile). I've stuck with animals even if they didn't turn out exactly how I expected.

    Any thoughts are welcome.

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  3. #2
    Registered User wnateg's Avatar
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    Am I giving up on him? I am doing wrong by him?
    I think you'd actually be doing the opposite. Making a sacrifice to be sure your pet gets the home they deserve. I think you just need to be honest about your experiences with any potential homes, so they know what they're getting into.

    I think being honest with yourself that you cant put the time into the pet is honorable.
    Last edited by wnateg; 10-02-2019 at 11:00 PM.
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    Re: Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    I agree with wnateg. As long as you've given the critter the best life you could while it was in your care, and find it another good home, then I believe you've done the right thing by the animal.
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    We all make some mistakes thru no fault of either side (human or pet), & I have the sense you've really tried but this is not what you had in mind. I don't blame
    you one bit: it's not as if you're a zoo-keeper or have unlimited energy...this is supposed to be fun for you, & I think anyone who has kept animals (of any kind)
    for long enough, sooner or later takes in something that's a poor fit for them. You're looking out for both your best interest & his to find him a more suitable owner.
    You've taken great care of him so far, so I'm sure he's healthy; now, will he miss you? very doubtful......so don't lose sleep over that either.
    Many friends in low places...

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    Registered User Bogertophis's Avatar
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    Psst, you should swap him with your pet store friend for a Trans Pecos rat snake...
    Many friends in low places...

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    Re: Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    I agree with the previous others. I think the best thing to do would be to re-home him. I think you will be so relieved to do so. And don't let yourself feel any guilt. It doesn't always work out. At least you learned and won't likely get another. Like Bogertophis said it is suppose to be fun. Doesn't sound like fun that you are experiencing. That's why we have pets. To enjoy them, love them like you did with your dog that passed away. Your not a quitter but there comes a time when you know what you should do and I think you have reached it.
    Like the others said I would just do my best to find it a good home or at least a temporary care facility then you've done all you can. That will make it better for you to accept and better for the animal too. That's my opinion anyway.

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    Registered User SilentHill's Avatar
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    people do it every day without even thinking about it for stupid reasons. sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this and i think your heart is in the right place.
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    Re: Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    I think it's probably for the best Dave.

    It's not as if you haven't tried for the past year, especially with the health problems you have, a quick nip could be pretty nasty especially with your immune system.
    It will probably benefit him and be less stressful for you both.
    Shame really as he's pretty cool, but there's only so much you can do sometimes.
    I don't envy you having to make this hard decision as I know how much you care for all your animals
    All the best mate


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    Re: Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    I read through the entire thread about Toref.

    Personally I don't think re-homing a pet is a bad thing especially with a reptile where, let's face it, they probably wouldn't miss us the way a dog would. (cats are reptiles right?). The key is to make sure you find a good home. In your case that's not simple as a freckled tree monitor requires advanced care. Perhaps you are thinking about returning him to the breeder?

    There are many reasons to re-home a pet. Space problems, lack of time or money or interest, lifestyle changes etc. Usually this is about the health and safety of the animal. But in your case there is a much more important reason:

    Toref may cause a threat to your health and safety.

    I had never heard before that all monitors can be slightly poisonous. I thought that was an adaptation than only the Komodos had, but it makes sense.

    Many of us have the credo that the animal's health is paramount, but that's not entirely true. You and your future with your family is what's paramount.

    My sister was a kidney recipient. I know how exhausting and vulnerable that can be. If Toref has the potential to threaten your health, then you must consider him a 'hot' and that's not what you signed up for.

    Don't feel guilty. You shouldn't handle him in a way to try and calm him and another person might be able to. In this case, it may be what's best for everyone.

    Really enjoyed his thread.
    Last edited by ChangshaNotes; 10-04-2019 at 02:41 AM.

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  19. #10
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Re: Thoughts on Re-Homing a Bad Fit

    Quote Originally Posted by ChangshaNotes View Post
    I read through the entire thread about Toref.

    Personally I don't think re-homing a pet is a bad thing especially with a reptile where, let's face it, they probably wouldn't miss us the way a dog would. (cats are reptiles right?). The key is to make sure you find a good home. In your case that's not simple as a freckled tree monitor requires advanced care. Perhaps you are thinking about returning him to the breeder?

    There are many reasons to re-home a pet. Space problems, lack of time or money or interest, lifestyle changes etc. Usually this is about the health and safety of the animal. But in your case there is a much more important reason:

    Toref may cause a threat to your health and safety.

    I had never heard before that all monitors can be slightly poisonous. I thought that was an adaptation than only the Komodos had, but it makes sense.

    Many of us have the credo that the animal's health is paramount, but that's not entirely true. You and your future with your family is what's paramount.

    My sister was a kidney recipient. I know how exhausting and vulnerable that can be. If Toref has the potential to threaten your health, then you must consider him a 'hot' and that's not what you signed up for.

    Don't feel guilty. You shouldn't handle him in a way to try and calm him and another person might be able to. In this case, it may be what's best for everyone.

    Really enjoyed his thread.
    WOW. This hit home. Really thoughtful and really on point. Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by richardhind1972 View Post
    I think it's probably for the best Dave.

    It's not as if you haven't tried for the past year, especially with the health problems you have, a quick nip could be pretty nasty especially with your immune system.
    It will probably benefit him and be less stressful for you both.
    Shame really as he's pretty cool, but there's only so much you can do sometimes.
    I don't envy you having to make this hard decision as I know how much you care for all your animals
    All the best mate


    Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk
    Thank you, as always, Rich.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentHill View Post
    people do it every day without even thinking about it for stupid reasons. sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this and i think your heart is in the right place.
    Thank you for recognizing I want what's best for him and did not take this lightly.

    Quote Originally Posted by ballpythonsrock2 View Post
    I agree with the previous others. I think the best thing to do would be to re-home him. I think you will be so relieved to do so. And don't let yourself feel any guilt. It doesn't always work out. At least you learned and won't likely get another. Like Bogertophis said it is suppose to be fun. Doesn't sound like fun that you are experiencing. That's why we have pets. To enjoy them, love them like you did with your dog that passed away. Your not a quitter but there comes a time when you know what you should do and I think you have reached it.
    Like the others said I would just do my best to find it a good home or at least a temporary care facility then you've done all you can. That will make it better for you to accept and better for the animal too. That's my opinion anyway.
    No, it hasn't been fun. Great point and thank you for the post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bogertophis View Post
    Psst, you should swap him with your pet store friend for a Trans Pecos rat snake...
    Ha! More on that later.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Bogertophis View Post
    We all make some mistakes thru no fault of either side (human or pet), & I have the sense you've really tried but this is not what you had in mind. I don't blame
    you one bit: it's not as if you're a zoo-keeper or have unlimited energy...this is supposed to be fun for you, & I think anyone who has kept animals (of any kind)
    for long enough, sooner or later takes in something that's a poor fit for them. You're looking out for both your best interest & his to find him a more suitable owner.
    You've taken great care of him so far, so I'm sure he's healthy; now, will he miss you? very doubtful......so don't lose sleep over that either.
    Thank you Bogertophis. As usual, a thorough and thoughtful post. Much appreciated.

    Quote Originally Posted by EL-Ziggy View Post
    I agree with wnateg. As long as you've given the critter the best life you could while it was in your care, and find it another good home, then I believe you've done the right thing by the animal.
    Thank you EL-Ziggy. Always appreciate your input.

    Quote Originally Posted by wnateg View Post
    I think you'd actually be doing the opposite. Making a sacrifice to be sure your pet gets the home they deserve. I think you just need to be honest about your experiences with any potential homes, so they know what they're getting into.

    I think being honest with yourself that you cant put the time into the pet is honorable.
    Thank you for the understanding Wnateg.

    Quote Originally Posted by dakski View Post
    I have had Toref, a freckled tree monitor, for almost a year now, and I am considering re-homing him.

    He's a wild child and has not calmed down at all in the past year. He's defensive and scared and the only reptile I have that I can't handle and don't trust. He's a lot of work and isn't even a display animal since he hides every time I come in the room.

    Below is the link to where I address re-homing him specifically.

    https://ball-pythons.net/forums/show...Monitor/page13

    My question is, what do other reptile keepers think about re-homing an animal that's a poor fit?

    Am I giving up on him? I am doing wrong by him?

    I think that's anthropomorphizing, but I have yet to re-home a reptile as an adult (me being an adult - not the reptile). I've stuck with animals even if they didn't turn out exactly how I expected.

    Any thoughts are welcome.

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