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  1. #11
    Registered User MR Snakes's Avatar
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    Good for you Dak! Hope you and your brood live a long and healthy life!

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    dakski (01-28-2019)

  3. #12
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    Quote Originally Posted by FollowTheSun View Post
    YES! This! I think a lot of us who have gone through very difficult times have this blessed perspective. It's an absolutely wonderful place to be! I tell people that my goal is to live life without regrets, to be able to go to sleep at night knowing I tried my best to do the right thing, and to find the joy in each day, even if it's a simple joy like a good cup of coffee. I am a hospice nurse, and I see every day people of all ages who come to my care-- some live a shorter but joyful life, and some live to be over 100 but are very miserable or bitter or angry. It's not about quantity, it's about quality of life.

    When I met my boyfriend he was an unemployed, newly recovering alcoholic, and nearly died in front of me just two months in from severe liver damage. Looks very bad on paper, but it just felt *right* to be with him. At that time I was not sure how much time we had, but I wanted to have us be together. I had come off a bad marriage and I could appreciate what a good man he was, and how strong our connection was, and that's all that mattered.

    Well we've been together for 2.5 years now, he moved in 10 months ago, he has a good job again, never slipped up with his alcohol, and has recently been taken off the liver transplant list (for now), the kids love him, and we are going to get married sometime in the next year. And, at the age of 44, will be trying IVF (he has no kids of his own) and whether or not that works out, at least we won't regret not trying.

    It's really nice to hear in your "voice" the love and respect you have for Katie. It sounds like you and she have found in each other a wonderful love and partnership. I wish you many, many happy moments together! Please post wedding pics!

    Wow, FollowTheSun, that's a beautiful story.

    Mazel Tov and I wish you both many years of happiness and health! However, I totally agree with quality over quantity.

    I truly do love Katie. It's wonderful to have her in my life and we appreciate each other. She is a kind soul and we laugh together and do fun things, etc. We were meant to be. I believe that. It's karma as both of us made the wrong choice in our first marriage partners.

    I believe in being loving and kind to everyone, but especially those closest to you. I am not perfect, and slip up sometimes, but I really try. Without going into detail, I grew up in an abusive home and vowed never to treat the people I love like that.

    I have 5 rules. They don't make me perfect, they don't make a great fit for anyone or everyone, but I won't do these things and Katie appreciates that immensely.

    I won't:

    1. Lie
    2. Cheat
    3. Hit, kick, physically abuse, etc.
    4. Call names
    5. Put down

    It goes both ways though. Not only does Katie treat me with the same love and respect, but she appreciates the way I treat her. That's a new one to me. I am used to people taking advantage of my love and kindness. I really adore Katie and am blessed to have her, but also that she appreciates me and thinks I am special.

    Good luck on your journey!

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  5. #13
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    As soon as I read that you have 5 dogs in your household, I'm like dang. That is a lot of work. I have 2 big dogs (about 77 lbs and 60 lbs) but even if they were small, it is still a lot of work.

    I currently have 13 pets plus a foster kitten including the dogs in total, mostly reptiles. The dogs still take up most of my time than the rest of them (though the cats are the most expensive to feed - primarily canned). Hopefully you have a stronger will than me... All it takes is a little browsing.. Window shopping.. Then visiting expos... Oh, how did I end up with a new boa? :p

    Good luck with whatever that you do.

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  7. #14
    Registered User Jellybeans's Avatar
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    I have four dogs and one snake
    The oldest dog's about 6 in the youngest just turned 2. Snake isn't even a year old yet. So with all that said I still have many years with all of them and especially MANY years with the snake. Years ago I had many reptiles at one time and I know how much work it is so I know not to do that at this point in my life. I just turned 58 sometimes I'm a very young 58 but sometimes I feel like I'm 88.
    Lord Jesus bless me to have a good attitude as some of these posts that I've read and to live a long healthy life

    Sent from my LGMP260 using Tapatalk

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    dakski (01-28-2019)

  9. #15
    BPnet Veteran Ax01's Avatar
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    i dunno Dak. 13 is a real bad number. maybe u should get one more to make it an even 14. that sounds like a more lucky number to stop.
    ^ Look! My new avatar!!

    Wicked ones now on IG & FB!6292

    Seaside Serpents & Exotics (SSEx) clutch one, two and three.

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  11. #16
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    Quote Originally Posted by Ax01 View Post
    i dunno Dak. 13 is a real bad number. maybe u should get one more to make it an even 14. that sounds like a more lucky number to stop.
    Oh stop! You're SO bad! (then again, I "like" the number 15 much better than 14...just saying-)

    Besides, I've never once had a bad Friday the 13th. Just a silly superstition...& when we take things out of context, we can find all sorts of silly excuses, instead of realizing all the other times that a particular number was just great.

    dakski: it would be so much better for pets of all kinds if everyone did the sort of soul-searching that you've done to reach a harmonious number that you can
    enjoy & handle without feeling burdened.
    Last edited by Bogertophis; 01-28-2019 at 06:04 PM.

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  13. #17
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    Quote Originally Posted by Bogertophis View Post
    Oh stop! You're SO bad! (then again, I "like" the number 15 much better than 14...just saying-)

    Besides, I've never once had a bad Friday the 13th. Just a silly superstition...& when we take things out of context, we can find all sorts of silly excuses, instead of realizing all the other times that a particular number was just great.

    dakski: it would be so much better for pets of all kinds if everyone did the sort of soul-searching that you've done to reach a harmonious number that you can
    enjoy & handle without feeling burdened.
    Thank you Bogertophis. I agree, but it's not for me to say when others' have reached their limits. It's individual thing. I just know I am there.

    Health issues and other life issues have taught me to always reflect and evaluate. I think it's healthy and knowledge is power. A lot of people do not want to seek answers because they may not like what they find. To me, I'd rather know where I stand.

    Would it be cool to have another Boa, or a dwarf burmese, etc.? Sure. However, I know that now, that would be at someone else's expense. I am not willing to do that. When I take an animal on, I plan to keep them for their life. I plan to care for them appropriately and to the best of my ability. Have I been impulsive in the past about getting an animal? Absolutely. However, I had no doubt I could care for that animal.

    It's hard being a "collector," especially of living things. I collect inanimate things too, like whiskey and cigars. I always want something great on hand and want to try the latest and greatest. The only thing I hurt here, by getting another bottle of whiskey, for example, is space in my liquor closet, and my wallet. No risk of hurting the whiskey.

    However, with animals, although most keepers' love them and enjoy them, I feel, with reptiles, even people who love their pets and want to do the best for them, often get carried away. We always seem to want the next morph, or next species, etc. The reality is, it will never stop unless you stop it. You will suffer in the end, potentially lose your passion for the hobby and reptiles, and the animals will ultimately suffer.

    It was tough, but I will not let the animals I have and I have committed to suffer in any way. Take Cleo, Carra, and Kayla, my leopard geckos. The used to all live together in a 4X2' enclosure and everything was pretty good. About a year ago, Cleo got aggressive and had to be separated and got her own tank. Then I did more and more research. Leopard geckos tend to thrive on their own better than in groups. I didn't want to hear that, because that meant another tank to buy, which meant one less spot for another species, etc. It would have been much easier if they all got along and lived together, of course. However, that wasn't in the cards. Since I've separated them, they are all thriving. Carra is having great sheds for the first time, Kayla isn't being picky with food anymore, and Cleo is being more social with me.

    Not ideal using 3 3X2' tanks, or 18 SQ/FT of space for 3 leopard geckos. Would have been easy to say, this is not what I was told/expected, and re-homed at least one or two.

    However, I made a commitment to the three of them. I know that few people would care for them the way I do. I also love them all and am attached to them.

    So, three 3X2' tanks for 3 leopard geckos in this house. Insane? A little, but they are happy and I am happy to keep them, enjoy them, and live up to my commitment.

    I think it's important for everyone who buys/acquires a reptile, or any animal, to understand what is involved (cost and space wise especially), for how long, how to properly care for that animal, etc. They are living creatures. Plus, in general, I believe people get off the hook too easy in our society. "What's next?" "Where's my paper plate? I don't want to do dishes." "I changed my mind." Commitments do not seem to matter much anymore. It saddens me, especially when living creatures, and other people are hurt by it.

    Growing up I saw the damage of people not taking commitments seriously, and I see it to this day. Parents, grandparent, friends, people I meet, etc. It's all about doing what they want when they want.

    I was unfortunate to have family who didn't honor their commitments to each other or to their children (who they chose to have).

    I won't make the same mistakes. It's just me. Am I better or worse than anyone else? I don't know. It's certainly not for me to judge, or anyone else for that matter, here on Earth.

    I do know that my friends, family, and Katie specifically, appreciate how I honor them and my commitments.

    All that matters more to me than having another reptile.

    Sorry to go a long way here and on a little bit of a diatribe. However, part of the purpose here is to give people food for thought regarding reptile keeping, and I guess, life.

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  15. #18
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonny1318 View Post
    Wow, wow, wow. Im so sorry to hear about your health, but really love your attitude. I myself am very sick (severe injuries resulting in nerve disease and a stomach cancer survivor). Im also terminal, but to stupid to give up....
    I'm very sorry to hear about your health issues too...I enjoy your input around here & I hope you have MANY more years than you (or your doctors) think you have.
    Keep in mind they don't "know everything" & often get it wrong. I think our own attitude has a lot to do with it...as long as you are enjoying life, "giving up" would
    be the only "stupid" option.

    As we get older, it's easy to compare our current condition to the way we were when younger, and that feels like a loss. Then throw in some medical issues that
    complicate our health with dire warnings...but you should also remember that everyone's life is "terminal" & that in the meantime, you'll probably outlive many
    others who had no idea that their number was coming up, even many with far fewer years.

    So enjoy every day as best you can...(hugs!) That goes for everyone...

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  17. #19
    Registered User Jellybeans's Avatar
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    True true
    Quote Originally Posted by Bogertophis View Post
    I'm very sorry to hear about your health issues too...I enjoy your input around here & I hope you have MANY more years than you (or your doctors) think you have.
    Keep in mind they don't "know everything" & often get it wrong. I think our own attitude has a lot to do with it...as long as you are enjoying life, "giving up" would
    be the only "stupid" option.

    As we get older, it's easy to compare our current condition to the way we were when younger, and that feels like a loss. Then throw in some medical issues that
    complicate our health with dire warnings...but you should also remember that everyone's life is "terminal" & that in the meantime, you'll probably outlive many
    others who had no idea that their number was coming up, even many with far fewer years.

    So enjoy every day as best you can...(hugs!) That goes for everyone...
    Sent from my LGMP260 using Tapatalk

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    dakski (01-28-2019)

  19. #20
    Registered User Dianne's Avatar
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    Re: My Collection is Complete: I am done acquiring reptiles

    I think youve brought up some excellent points, and something all of us as keepers need to consider. There needs to be balance between what we want, what we can responsibly care for, and the other commitments in our lives...present and future. These beautiful animals are completely dependent on us for their quality...and quantity...of life. Below is some of my soul searching as I decide just what I want to commit to and can comfortably handle.

    Prior to April 2018, I had the love of my life. The 9 animals I had for the last few years was my limit due to work hours and wanting to spend more time with him. And there were times he felt like he was in third place after work and animals when I came home after a 10-11 hour day and spent 2 hours feeding and/or cleaning cages. I wasnt willing to add anything else, no matter how much I wanted it, because it wasnt fair to us as a couple or him as my partner to add additional commitments. Losing him last year was the hardest thing Ive ever endured. I know hes in a better place, and have no doubt hell be waiting at the pearly gates to meet me when my time comes. 💕 Until then, Im looking to what makes me happy and fulfilled.

    In the last year since hes been gone, I have gone a bit hog wild on new additions, getting some long time wish list animals as well as some newly discovered morphs. Even after losing a couple of the original 9, I currently have 15. Number 16 is waiting for temperatures to get warm enough to ship. Every time I think the weather has improved and I can start looking to ship, we get another cold snap...supposed to be in the teens by the end of the week. To say the least, I am tired of winter.

    Before adding my banana pied this past weekend, I looked at how I want my reptile room to look and the room available. I can comfortably house 16 without adding another stack of cages, keeping the current footprint the same when I revamp my cages to the Reptile Basics cages. This will reuse existing heat panels and thermostats, only adding a couple of rhps and thermostats to account for recent additions. The cage revamp is because it is difficult to clean the back of a 30 deep cage that is only 12 high. The new cages are easier to clean and I can easily reach every part of a 24 deep cage. I want to get set ups now that will still be manageable as I get older. Only Duncan will remain in her current 8 cage which is tall enough I can easily clean the back by leaning into the cage. I may look to add additional animals as some of my older animals pass, but Im in no hurry for that to happen.
    Other Snakes:
    Duncan
    - 1992 0.1 Bci; Hudson 1988 1.0 Colombian rainbow; Yang 2002 1.0 Corn snake; Merlin 2000 1.0 Solomon Island ground boa; ??? 2015 1.0 Diamond Jungle Jaguar carpet python

    Ball pythons:
    Eli 1990 1.0 Normal; Buttercup 2015 1.0 Albino; Artemis 2015 0.1 Dragonfly; Orion 2015 1.0 Banana Pinstripe; Button 2018 1.0 Blue Eyed Lucy; Piper 2018 0.1 Piebald; Belle 2018 0.1 Lemonblast; Sabrina 2017 0.1 Mojave; Selene 2017 0.1 Banana Mojave; Loki 2018 1.0 Pastel Mystic Potion; Cuervo 2018 1.0 Banana Piebald; Claude 2017 1.0 Albino Pastel Spider; Penelope 2016 0.1 Lesser

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