how to help a person who fears snakes overcome there fear

[motorcyclecowboy]

my therapist is awesume she helps me with my fear of humans. but she is terrified of snakes id like to help her see how awesume some snakes can be

[Bogertophis]

Is she willing to meet a snake in person? I've shared my calm snakes with many people who thought they'd never in their life touch one, much less like and
want to hold one. I think seeing is believing for most people. When I handle my snakes they stay calm with everyone they meet thereafter, but I have to say
that if most of the people who meet them actually saw how they pounce on their (dead) prey at home, they'd probably never get near them, LOL.

I like to explain to people how snakes are deaf, near-sighted & actually quite shy & vulnerable. That they have a great sense of smell (they recognize us with)
and also know by how we touch & hold them that we aren't predators attacking them. And, that snakes do learn & remember our gentle treatment, and we are
NOT on their "menu" (they're fussy eaters, unless you're talking about giant snakes). You'd be surprised at how little the average person knows about real snakes-
it's quite a relief to find out that snakes are fussy eaters, lol.

[motorcyclecowboy]

she is scared of them pretty bad she sed to come to my home and she always asked where my snakes was. i knew she was fearful so they was always upstaires in my reptile room

[MR Snakes]

Is she willing to meet a snake in person? I've shared my calm snakes with many people who thought they'd never in their life touch one, much less like and
want to hold one. I think seeing is believing for most people. When I handle my snakes they stay calm with everyone they meet thereafter, but I have to say
that if most of the people who meet them actually saw how they pounce on their (dead) prey at home, they'd probably never get near them, LOL.

I like to explain to people how snakes are deaf, near-sighted & actually quite shy & vulnerable. That they have a great sense of smell (they recognize us with)
and also know by how we touch & hold them that we aren't predators attacking them. And, that snakes do learn & remember our gentle treatment, and we are
NOT on their "menu" (they're fussy eaters, unless you're talking about giant snakes). You'd be surprised at how little the average person knows about real snakes-
it's quite a relief to find out that snakes are fussy eaters, lol.

Hmm, are there any threads you can point me to??????

she is scared of them pretty bad she sed to come to my home and she always asked where my snakes was. i knew she was fearful so they was always upstaires in my reptile room

My wife read this and said this looks like a thread on how to pick up women. Ha!

[motorcyclecowboy]

Hmm, are there any threads you can point me to??????





My wife read this and said this looks like a thread on how to pick up women. Ha!

lol nah im very happy being alone well maybe if ladygaga ask me out id accept lol

[Bogertophis]

Does she remember why she is afraid of snakes? Many become phobic about snakes or other things as kids, when teased & scared by other kids' bad
behavior, but also by scary movies (when they're too young to deal with watching) or by what adults tell them. Fear is complicated...it's not her fault-
fear of snakes is even more common than fear of spiders. Could she handle seeing & touching a snake's shed skin, instead of a snake? Does she actually
WANT help losing her fear of snakes? or is this only your idea? Much better if she's on board...

I once worked with a guy that was so uptight about snakes that when he was reading a newspaper & it turned out there was an article about snakes in the
paper (with a picture of one), he suddenly threw down the paper & started yelling...we had to tear out that part of the paper for him. That was actually
BEFORE I was into keeping snakes, so I didn't even try to change his mind. Not sure we can change everyone's mind about it, but worth trying. I hope you do.

[MR Snakes]

This thread has all the makings of one that could derail at any moment now!

[Bogertophis]

This thread has all the makings of one that could derail at any moment now!

You mean because you're trying so hard to change the subject?

[MR Snakes]

You mean because you're trying so hard to change the subject?

I'm sorry. I'm currently having a Jelly Belly overdose.

[dakski]

I believe in educating people, sharing the beauty that reptiles possess, and try to get them interested in meeting them.

However, I have a few rules, and I will start there.

1. I don't argue with people. I do try to educate.

If they are dead set that snakes are evil, hold a grudge, want to hurt us, are slimy, etc. or whatever other misinformation they have, I don't argue or try to change their minds. I spend up to 30 seconds trying to explain the truth:

-Snakes are mostly instinctual and could not hold a grudge if they wanted and do not have the ability to hate (that is mostly limited to us humans).

-They only constrict/kill to eat (I have all constrictors so the constrict part is relevant to me, but other species who do no constrict to not kill for fun either - again, not capable).

-They won't even hurt a rodent if not hungry.

-All the ones I have I've had since they were little/babies, and I've worked with them to be very tame (although none were defensive to begin with), and although not domesticated, they grew up with human interaction and do not fear us.

-Snakes bite out of hunger or fear. They do not bite to hurt. They are not aggressive. They CAN be defensive.

-Snakes are not slimy, they are smooth and soft, except for scaleless snakes (like Solana, my scaleless corn), who is just soft.


If after 30 seconds of explaining, they are interested and/or curious, and ask questions or ask for more information, I continue. However, if they just argue, I drop it.


2. I respect peoples' fears and anxieties.

If someone is truly afraid, I mean gut/nervous system level afraid, I do not push at all. ZERO. I do the opposite. If they come to the house, or want to, but are afraid, I explain that the reptiles, all of them, are tucked away in a corner of the finished basement. They do not have to go downstairs if they do not want. They do not have to go near them or past the gate I have set up to separate the reptile area from the rest of the finished basement, and from the dogs. ALL the reptile tanks are locked by key and there is zero way any of the reptiles can get out.

3. To follow up on #2, I never push. If people seem ambivalent, I open the door, but never push anyone through.


If someone is really and truly afraid because of a bad experience, inherent anxiety, etc. I ask what they want and respect it, pretty much period. If they are curious, at all, or seem ambivalent, I offer levels of interaction.

The levels are as follows and in order of magnitude:

1. You can come downstairs and be near them, but not go in the reptile area.

2. You can go in the reptile area, but no one will come out.

3. You can look at pictures of the reptiles/snakes, and see if any appeal to you, interest you, or do not scare you.

4. You can look into the tanks.

5. You can see me take out a lizard. Generally, people are less afraid of the lizards and are open to seeing a cute leopard gecko, Rhacodactylus, or even Frank, the Blue Tongue Skink.

6. You can touch a lizard.

7. You can hold a lizard.

8. You can watch me take out a snake, but go outside the reptile area and look in.

9. You can watch me take out a snake, but stay in the reptile area.

10. You can touch a snake.

11. You can hold a snake with me. I can hold the upper body and you can hold the tail.

12. You can hold a snake.


Again, I do not push. However, I also read the person. I continually ask how they are doing and if they want to go to the next level or go back a step, or leave the reptile area, etc.

This approach can work wonders.

My fiancé, Katie, has a friend, Sandy, who was petrified of snakes. She came to visit from out of town, but almost didn't stay with us she was so afraid.

She ended up asking me a lot of questions over dinner about the reptiles and I showed her some pictures of the lizards. She expressed interest in meeting them. I explained that they were in the same area as the snakes, and that the snakes liked to hide, and were all nocturnal, but that she might see one or two, etc. She said she was okay with that, but wanted to sit farther away. My big chair in the reptile area is at the cusp of the reptile area and the entrance to the main part of the finished basement. I told her she could sit there, and I'd take the animals out, one at a time (as always), and I'd stand at the other part of the reptile area (about 10FT away). If she wanted to see someone closer, I would bring them over.

She ended up holding Frank (BTS) and Cleo (leopard gecko who's incredibly tame and docile and seems to enjoy human interaction) after seeing me hold them first, and then petting them.

While all this was happening, Figment, my adult hypo-lavender corn snake, came out to see what was going on and beg for food at the front of his enclosure. I told Sandy he was, and asked if she wanted to leave. She half glanced at him, and then ended up watching him.

After a few minutes, she said I could take him out, but could I hold him across the reptile area? I happily obliged.

After a couple of minutes, she asked if I could bring him over so she could see him up close. She ended up petting him.

Long story short, she ended up HOLDING Shayna, my adult Albino Spider BP, Feliz, my yearling BCC/Boa, and Yafe, my yearling albino Carpet Python. WOW! Best case scenario!

DO they all turn out like this? No. However, being gentle and kind, and understanding, and going slow, and allowing the person who is scared to feel in control, ALL HELPS!



Here is Sandy with Shayna:



And here she is with Feliz. She had actually left the reptile area, as she was emotionally drained and had enough reptiles. However, when she saw her husband holding Feliz, she thought he was adorable, and "had" to hold him.