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  1. #1
    BPnet Senior Member Skyrivers's Avatar
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    So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    At this point I have emptied all the negative people from my life. Been a few months of being alone. Just me and my animals. I was sitting down and thinking about getting on a dating app and looking at what to put in the "About me section". Here is what I am thinking.


    If I could design the perfect woman for me here are the things I would look for.

    1. Honest- I am very honest and want someone that is honest as well. Sure there are times you have to be gentle but always be honest.
    2. Creative- I paint, build things, play music, and apply creativity in all that I do. Would like someone who likes the same.
    3. Open communication- If you can't talk about it you should not do it. I can and will talk about anything. Give an honest opinion and would like the same.
    4. Love for animals and people around you- Everyone deserves respect and that applies to animals as well. I have several snakes and 2 dogs. Must love snakes. Sure they deserve respect for what they are but my animals are my kids.
    5. Intelligent conversation- I am intelligent and can talk about almost anything and willing to talk about almost anything.
    6. Healthy and active- I am active. I hike, boat, kayak, and am on the move a lot. If you have serous health problems that limit mobility, you might not be happy trying to keep up.
    7. Life ambition- I am all about family pulling together to make life better. NO this is not about money but you should have some direction in life. I am not a sugar daddy, and will not be a bank account for anyone.
    8. Taking it slow and steady- We have a lifetime to get to know each other. Lets enjoy the adventure. No you are not moving in with me unless we are in a serous relationship for a few years. No I will not marry you till we have been together for years. Yes I will work towards these things in good time with the right person.
    9. Positive attitude- Life is great! So much to explore and things to do. Join me!
    10. STD free!- I have kept myself safe through testing and want to stay that way. I am not hating on anyone who has a STD. People with STDs are people also and deserve love. Sure how you got it might not be your fought. Is a life choice for me.

    I understand that as we age together life will happen and in a serous relationship will be by your side loving you all the way regardless of what life throws at us. I am dependable and steady as a rock. I expect the same. Love first and above all else.

    I am open to suggestions to help me revamp this some. LOL. Do you see anything that is negative or harsh? Does any of it need reworded or eliminated? Open to suggestions to anything that might need to be added.

    Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

  2. #2
    BPnet Senior Member Lord Sorril's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by Skyrivers View Post
    Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?
    I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

    I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.
    *.* TNTC

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  4. #3
    BPnet Senior Member Skyrivers's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Sorril View Post
    I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

    I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.
    If is so bad, give suggestions? Just saying scrap it and start over is not helpful.

  5. #4
    BPnet Lifer ladywhipple02's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    As a proud, independent woman in her prime, I was immediately put off by the tone, and by the third sentence I was not interested and ready to move on to reading something more interesting. It sounds self-absorbed, immature, like you're perfect and you're looking for perfection in return.

    This screams to me that you still aren't ready and need to do more soul searching. Figure out what you need to work on with yourself... figure out the things you'd like to work on with someone else. You're still looking for something easy. Life with someone isn't about perfection together, it's about being flawed together, and still making it work. It's HARD. There are days where it's a grind, and yeah sometimes I just flat out don't like my person, because Lord knows he isn't perfect, and most especially not perfect for me. But I still love him.

    This is my opinion of course, for what it's worth.

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  7. #5
    BPnet Senior Member Skyrivers's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by ladywhipple02 View Post
    As a proud, independent woman in her prime, I was immediately put off by the tone, and by the third sentence I was not interested and ready to move on to reading something more interesting. It sounds self-absorbed, immature, like you're perfect and you're looking for perfection in return.

    This screams to me that you still aren't ready and need to do more soul searching. Figure out what you need to work on with yourself... figure out the things you'd like to work on with someone else. You're still looking for something easy. Life with someone isn't about perfection together, it's about being flawed together, and still making it work. It's HARD. There are days where it's a grind, and yeah sometimes I just flat out don't like my person, because Lord knows he isn't perfect, and most especially not perfect for me. But I still love him.

    This is my opinion of course, for what it's worth.
    Thank you for your input. How would you relay these things without coming across as self absorbed and thinking I am perfect? I know people are flawed and myself as well. Is having standards wrong? Is putting them out in the open wrong? Yes I am flawed but I do have a lot of good things. How is it bad to want someone who has those things as well? This is me trying to grow. IS why I asked.
    Last edited by Skyrivers; 09-04-2018 at 10:17 AM.

  8. #6
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    Yea, it sounds like you need to work on yourself first. You come off as too arrogant and #10 was just so unnecessary lol. Who blurt those things pre-first date? I know your intentions are not to waste each other's time but you will find no matter how much you try to streamline your potential mates, there is always a surprise. The part where it is supposed to be about you, what makes you a good partner to another, was written about your assumptions on to the next person that this is what they should or should not be to make THEM a good partner to you. There is even a hint of what your last partners may have been to make you feel this way today. So again, if you truly desire a long term relationship, work on yourself first then try dating again.

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  10. #7
    Telling it like it is! Stewart_Reptiles's Avatar
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    If you are looking even if you are not it will happen unless you put them off with a profile like that.

    I met my husband 17 years ago online (also at the time I was only looking for friends since I was only gonna be her about a year, I can tell you that the one thing that won him over and he still remind me of that to this day is the following sentence.

    "I just want to know who you really are"

    Of course I described myself but it was brief, I had no expectation or should I say demand, we started talking and finally met and it we knew that this was not gonna be a friendship and we were meant for one another......yet we have nothing in common, he is not an animal person (now he has embraced having dogs but does not like snakes), he is shy and quiet and well I am me , I am a gamer and very much into movies, he thinks games are a waste of time and movies well our taste is very different..... and the list goes on he is also 18 years older than me.
    Deborah Stewart


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  12. #8
    Registered User skydnay's Avatar
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    I'm going to agree with the others and say this comes off as very self-absorbed and immature. If you compare potential partners to a bullet list of qualities, you are going to be severely disappointed with everyone you meet. If you even think you NEED to, well, maybe you need to wait on dating. If you're sure you want to try dating...

    Scrap the list.

    As another proud and independent woman in her prime, this is exactly the kind of thing that gets you put into the "ignore" category. No one wants to read a list of requirements that they must meet in order to date someone. No one is going to give you the time of day with that list. Also, I'd like to point out this:

    ...looking at what to put in the "About me section". Here is what I am thinking.
    If I could design the perfect woman...
    The "About Me" section is NOT where to explain your perfect woman. It's where you write about YOU. So stick to that. Do NOT list qualities others must have, just list your own. Mention the important stuff like owning snakes and being active. The point of a dating app is for people to get to know you through it.
    Ball Pythons!
    1.0 Normal - Echo
    1.0 Spider Enchi Ghost - Whiskey
    0.1 Super Pastel Lesser - Tango
    1.0 Butter Spider Het Hypo - Foxtrot

    Other Snakes!
    0.1 Albino Paradox KSB - Socks
    1.0 Jungle Carpet Python - JPEG
    1.0 California Kingsnake - Salazar

    Geckos!
    0.2 Super Hypo Tangerine Leos - Riddle and Valkyrie


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  14. #9
    Bogertophis's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by skydnay View Post
    ...The "About Me" section is NOT where to explain your perfect woman. It's where you write about YOU. So stick to that.
    Do NOT list qualities others must have, just list your own. Mention the important stuff like owning snakes and being active. The point of a dating app
    is for people to get to know you through it.
    This exactly! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ When you tell potential friends about YOU, they will assess if there are any deal-breakers (like fear of snakes etc) but for the
    right person you feel "connected with", many things you just work around. The likelihood that you have everything in common is unrealistic & virtually nil...but
    what you seek is a person you can trust, communicate with, depend on, and enjoy being around.

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  16. #10
    BPnet Senior Member Skyrivers's Avatar
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    Re: So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

    Lots of great feed back. Thanks everyone. Keep it coming. I am listening.

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