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Thread: Snake Jokes!

  1. #1
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Snake Jokes!

    1. Two snakes are talking.

    The first snake says, "Are we the kind of snakes that grab our prey, constrict them to kill them, and then eat them? OR, are we the kind of snakes that bite our prey, inject venom that kills them, and then eat them?

    The second snake says, "Why do you ask?"

    The first snake says, "I just bit my lip!"

    2. What do you get when you cross a boid with a contractor?

    A BOA CONSTRUCTOR!

    3. What kind of snakes are great at math?

    Adders!


    Anyone else got any? Corny, I know, but kind of funny too.

    Enjoy!

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  3. #2
    Registered User C.Marie's Avatar
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    What do you call a snake who works for the government?
    A: A civil serpent!
    Q: What did the snake give to his wife?
    A: A goodnight hiss!
    Last edited by C.Marie; 04-16-2018 at 09:44 PM.
    Domestic Short Hair - Miss Becky
    Russian Blue - Church
    Miniature Poodle - Pierre LaPoodlePants
    Banana BP - Yuri Katsuki

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  5. #3
    BPnet Senior Member tttaylorrr's Avatar
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    Re: Snake Jokes!

    how do you measure a snake?
    .
    .
    .
    in inches. they don't have any feet!
    4.4 ball python
    1.0 Albino 0.1 Coral Glow 0.1 Super Cinnamon paradox 1.0 Piebald 0.1 Pastel Enchi Leopard het Piebald 1.0 Coral Glow het Piebald

    1.0 corn snake
    1.0 Hypo

    1.0 crested gecko
    0.1 ????

    0.1 cat
    0.1 Maine Coon mix

    0.1 human ✌︎

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  7. #4
    BPnet Senior Member dakski's Avatar
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    Re: Snake Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by tttaylorrr View Post
    how do you measure a snake?
    .
    .
    .
    in inches. they don't have any feet!
    Classic!

    1. Do you know what's great about venomous snakes?

    Their poisonality!

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  9. #5
    BPnet Senior Member Reinz's Avatar
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    Snake Jokes!

    Funny Toon

    Last edited by Reinz; 04-17-2018 at 12:04 AM.
    The one thing I found that you can count on about Balls is that they are consistent about their inconsistentcy.

    1.2 Coastal Carpet Pythons
    Mack The Knife, 2013
    Lizzy, 2010
    Etta, 2013
    1.1 Jungle Carpet Pythons
    Esmarelda , 2014
    Sundance, 2012
    2.0 Common BI Boas, Punch, 2005; Butch, age?
    0.1 Normal Ball Python, Elvira, 2001
    0.1 Olive (Aussie) Python, Olivia, 2017

    Please excuse the spelling in my posts. Auto-Correct is my worst enema.

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  11. #6
    Anti-Thread Necro Patrol
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    Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
    A:A jump rope.

    Q:What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
    A:Fang letters!

    Q:What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
    A:Addercadabra and abradacobra.
    - Mason

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    Re: Snake Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by C.Marie View Post
    What do you call a snake who works for the government?
    A: A civil serpent!
    I am so using this at work in my next meeting.

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    Snake limerick

    Ran across this one some years ago.

    A boa constrictor they say,
    While shedding its skin one day,
    Thought how gross and how crude,
    To be caught in the nude,
    And bashfully slithered away.

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    Haha
    ~Annie
    ~

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    Q: Why did the BP cross the road?

    P: To get to the other hide.

    RIP Mamba
    ----------------

    Wicked ones now on IG & FB!6292

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