I think my owner is strange.

[CALM Pythons]

Im "BP" the normal Ball Python & my owner is acting very odd. No matter what I do he picks me up and checks me as if I'm not doing what normal snakes do. Yesterday I farted while excreting Uraites and he picked me up acting as if he was having a anxiety attack about it. He turned all kinds of colors and started flipping me upside down and all around.
This morning I was investigating my enclosure and he kept trying to put me back into my hide telling me I felt cold to him like he didn't want me to be out crawling around. Can someone let this brain surgeon know his hand is 98°F and Im usually 80-88 depending on where I am in the enclosure he gave me. When Im sleeping he kept trying to take me out of my hide even though I wanted to sleep. Is this normal Ball Python owner behavior or should I get him to a Doctor?
The day he brought me to his enclosure he kept trying to rub the top of my head asking why I didn't like to be petted. You would think someone that bought me would have read some general care sheets on Ball Pythons. Today I heard him say I was going to the Vet because even though Im not hungry he wont stop taking my Hide off of me during the day to try & feed me. I hope I can get him some help before he tries to force that 85 gram Rat down my throat he bought last week because I'm only 300 grams myself.
Can anybody tell me whats wrong with my owner and how your owner acts?
Here is a Picture incase it helps.


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[Skyrivers]

Just a few interesting thoughts here. I know you are a snake with a new human so let me give you some insight here.

1) People tend to be dumb, panicky, and often irrational and impulsive when dealing with new experiences and things in their lives.

2) You have somehow inherited a sub species called Drunkardredneckoush. This subspecies is known for being on the low end of intelligence as far as humans go.

It appears that you have computer access in your new enclosure and that you are slightly more intelligent than your new owner. Here are a few suggestions. If you have time between feedings and trading out hides and exploring, I suggest looking up a few articles on proper feeding and husbandry and posting suggestions in cartoon form we call comics that are often present in newspapers. This will help with your humans lack of ability to read and will keep his attention long enough for him to get the ideal of what to do. I suggest leaving this in the bathroom so he can read during his bathroom breaks. You might have to do this repeatedly so he will have time to discover the meaning behind the cleaver pictures and not just use it to wipe his but. Something else that might help is switching his beer bottle with coffee. As he slowly comes out of his natural state of drunken stopper and begins to process information for the first time after age 5, he will begin seeing the relationship of the "comic book" instructions and might even implement them. Please understand it might take him a few times to actually get it right but be patient with him along the way. If he is receptive of the coffee then start including articles that include AA meetings and job postings. It is rare but sometimes you can see the Drunkardredneckoush evolve into a reasonably good snake owner. If you ever get sick also provide "comics" with instructions to take you to the veteran. Repeat for anything else you think he might need to know.

Please keep in mind his limited intelligence and be patient with him.

[c0r3yr0s3]

This thread made my day so much better. Thanks

[Aedryan Methyus]

Hilarious! And, sooo how it is! lol

[zina10]

I feel for you, you seem to have ended up with humanus lazyatus dumbasrockus.

It sounds as if he is stressed. He needs to chill out. He hasn't had time to acclimate to owning a snake yet.

Best you keep him in a small, dark room and have a Thanksgiving sized meal delivered twice the day. Make sure you keep him well hydrated, perhaps a long soak in the bathtub every night may help.

Keep him warm enough. Perhaps you could have him swaddled some, it seems to calm down that squirrely species !!

Good luck, and make sure to visit "dumb-humans.net" so much great info and help there, and the other snakes are so friendly. Great community there !!!

[Craiga 01453]

Here is a Picture incase it helps.


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Yup, it helped!!!

A+ for the thread.
A++ for the picture!!!!

[CALM Pythons]

I feel for you, you seem to have ended up with humanus lazyatus dumbasrockus.

It sounds as if he is stressed. He needs to chill out. He hasn't had time to acclimate to owning a snake yet.

Best you keep him in a small, dark room and have a Thanksgiving sized meal delivered twice the day. Make sure you keep him well hydrated, perhaps a long soak in the bathtub every night may help.

Keep him warm enough. Perhaps you could have him swaddled some, it seems to calm down that squirrely species !!

Good luck, and make sure to visit "dumb-humans.net" so much great info and help there, and the other snakes are so friendly. Great community there !!!

Hahahahaha thanks so much Lucy. I was starting to feel all owners were hopeless lol.


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[Sauzo]

Your owner looks just like Jake 'the snake' Roberts!!

[Godzilla78]

Im sure my snakes think im weird. When i check on them and clean their enclosure, or take then out to handle, they always have this look like,”you again! What do you want? Why do you keep bothering us?”
the other 99% of the time, that I leave then in peace, in perfect humidity and temperature, i get no credit for that! But i wake them up just once, to clean the tub, and all of a sudden im the bad guy! lol

[CALM Pythons]

Glad we got a laugh.


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