Moving out...?

[Axel28]

I appreciate the advice everyone.

I do have a problem with roommates and that would be (right now) I have no friends.

[bcr229]

When the time comes, rather than getting together with roommates where you all rent from one landlord - where you are all jointly responsible for the lease - look into renting a room or basement from someone who owns his own place. There is less chance of getting screwed that way by roommates who skip out on their share of the rent, you'll only be responsible for the amount for your space.

[halfnakedlife]

in my case, i learned that it's cheaper to cook by myself than eating out or having food delivered all the time.


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[aquajunky02]

I moved out right after high school. It was definitely a learning experience. Moved back with my parents twice. When I was 19 and again at 23 or 24. I'm 33 now and married with a 7 yr old daughter. I agree with what the others posted. Be sure you have a decent reliable job before you bounce out. Having a snake won't be good if you can't pay the power bill.


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[aquajunky02]

My other suggestion that may help your at home situation would be to go get a job. Your an adult now and your father probably would be a bit easier on you if you were trying to better yourself and get on with life. That's just what I've found from personal experience. My parents always appreciated it when I had a job and could slip them some cash for the extra money I cost them. Probably why they opened the door back up when I found myself in a bad spot and needed somewhere to stay temporarily.


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[Axel28]

I told my dad that I am trying to get a job. He doesn't understand that I also have social anxiety and it's kinda hard for me to do anything but i'm trying, that's all that matters, right?

[MasonC2K]

Are you introverted by chance?

[Axel28]

I think so. Why? As in shy and all?

[artgecko]

I agree with others that it would be best for you to get a job and start contributing while you are still with your parents. Paying them something to help cover utilities and showing that you are starting to "act like an adult" will help matters. Every parent wants their child to become an independent adult and when they don't see signs, they get worried (which could be the case with your dad). Getting a job and taking more responsibility at home (doing your laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.) will help. It may also help to offer to do home chores, etc. until you can start chipping in on utilities, food, etc.

If you've never had a job before, it may be easiest to get a position in retail. If you are not comfortable talking a lot with people, try seeking a position like a stocker at a grocery store or other retail.. Stockers do have to interact with bosses and maybe say "hello" to customers every once in a a while, but it is not as much interaction as being a front desk worker or cashier. Being a bag boy at a grocery store would also be a good first step.. some polite social interaction, but you're mainly bagging up food and taking it to peoples' cars. Here, we have a grocery store chain called Publix. They have a very good track record of treating employees well, promoting good workers, etc.

Are you currently going to college? If so, take a public communications class.. I hated talking to people but eventually, after taking my comms class and then doing education classes (which made me talk in front of my peers) I got better over time. Social skills and talk in public are things you just have to practice to get better at.

Also, if you have any special interests or areas that you know a lot about or like talking about, you may be able to find a retail position that is related to those; which would make you feel more comfortable talking to others about the products, etc.

If you don't know much about personal finance (bank accounts, taxes, etc.) do some research online... see what average cost of living is in your area.. How much apartments cost, utilities, etc. I would think that starting out, you would need to get a roommate situation. Where I live, unless you are making ~$25,000 a year or more, you probably would need roommates... Back when I was working part-time and only making ~$13,000 a year, I had to have 2 roommates and even then it was pushing it to have enough $$ for my needs. All areas are different though and cost of living will vary.

For now, I wouldn't worry about that, just take baby steps and fill out some job applications and go to some interviews. Even if you are nervous, just present yourself as best as you can and be honest. Some business will give you a chance and after that, it's all up to you to make the best impression you can as a good employee. Most places will notice if you work hard and do a good job.. They will promote people that are good workers and give you good references, which are very important in the long run. That first job may not pay you enough to move out of your parents' house right away, but it may lead to a job that does.

[SPIDERBALL]

You should wait till you get your own place that will allow you to have a pet snake. Nothing like buying one then moving and have to sell it because you can't have it. I've wanted one for years. Just waited till I knew I could have one and take care of it. I can now and have bought 4 so far.