Vote for BP.Net for the 2013 Forum of the Year! Click here for more info.

» Site Navigation

» Home
 > FAQ

» Online Users: 268

15 members and 253 guests
Most users ever online was 3,642, 05-08-2016 at 09:50 AM.


» Today's Birthdays

» Stats

Members: 59,272
Threads: 229,360
Posts: 2,364,092
Top Poster: JLC (31,652)
Welcome to our newest member, Livestrongftw

» December 2017

S M T W T F S
26 27 28 29 30 1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31 1 2 3 4 5 6
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    06-17-2017
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    how to convince parents to let me get a bp?

    Hi! So I am still relatively young, I am a 15 y/o girl and haven't finished high school yet (I'm a sophomore), and do not have a ball python yet, which I have been researching since middle school but just recently decided to ask my parents about.

    My dad is pretty hesitant about it, but is still considering. On the other hand, my mom is a handful. Snakes make her skin crawl and although I've answered and rationalized all her questions, she is reluctant to let me get one (I will pay).
    She is saying that since I don't really take care of the family cat that often (because she says it's supposedly my cat because I wanted it to be 'mine' when I was 10, which is easy to understand as many young children want pets to 'themselves', if you know what I mean haha). I've explained everything you need to take care of the snake and that I take care of it and I will make sure that she doesn't have to see it/the mice and rats, associate with it, or take care of it in any way (for mice and rats, I have a mini freezer in my room which I can keep them in, but she seems bothered which is confusing to me lol). However, she is still very angry at the fact I want one and doesn't believe I will be responsible for it, which I think is a bit immature on her end. Oh yeah, she thinks it smells too.
    Another one of her main points is "what will you do when you go to college?", which I have already explained. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, which can allow me to qualify for the snake to be an emotional support animal (ESA), which colleges are authorized to accept, with a few exceptions. All domesticated animals may qualify as an ESA, including snakes. According to the Fair Housing Act, colleges/universities must make reasonable accommodations for people with disabilities requiring ESAs. Whenever I mention this, she tries to ignore me.

    How can I convince her that they aren't all that bad as she thinks they are? Please help!

  2. #2
    Registered User MissterDog's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-21-2017
    Posts
    778
    Thanks
    1,272
    Thanked 789 Times in 395 Posts
    Images: 4
    Hm, I have to admit I can understand where your mom is coming from because you have not been involved in looking after the cat, which may be the evidence she's looking for to prove you will be committed and responsible in looking after your snake. You need to assure her that you are serious about this, and will be in long term, because I'm starting to wonder if this is less about the snake (though her natural dislike can contribute to her reluctance) and more of her not being sure she trusts you yet. Would she feel the same way if you asked for any other pet?

    Now as for her warming up to snakes, ask if she is willing to learn more about them with you, educate her on the myths vs reality. Could you ask your dad on his specific thoughts to have him encourage your mom to site with the three of you to talk together? See if you can find a middle ground. Ultimately though you must respect her decision. If she says no, then you will have to wait until you can move out.
    1.0 Mystic Potion - Tapioca


  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MissterDog For This Useful Post:

    KMG (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-18-2017)

  4. #3
    BPnet Senior Member KMG's Avatar
    Join Date
    06-09-2012
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    4,787
    Thanks
    890
    Thanked 2,156 Times in 1,514 Posts
    Images: 33
    I wouldn't say your mom is being immature. You were 10 when you wanted the cat and are only 15 now. 5 years may seem like a long time to you but it's really not. You're still a kid and as long as you're in their house it's their rules.

    As for registering it as a service animal I think you need to do more research. I would suggest you actually acquire the necessary documents needed to register the snake first. Then I would check with a few schools you have interest in to see if you will have any obstacles to overcome. If you get that all done you'll have something to show your parents to place their mind at ease that when you leave home they won't be stuck with a snake like so many parents have been.

    A snake is a big commitment when you think about how long they can live.
    KMG

    0.1 BP
    1.3 Blood Python
    0.1 Western Hoggy
    1.0 Brazilian Rainbow Boa
    1.0 Aru Green Tree Python
    0.1 Emerald Tree Boa

    0.2 Olde English Bulldogge


  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to KMG For This Useful Post:

    DLena (06-18-2017),Hypancistrus (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-18-2017)

  6. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    12-25-2015
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    89
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 62 Times in 42 Posts

    Re: how to convince parents to let me get a bp?

    Quote Originally Posted by mimi View Post
    Hi! So I am still relatively young, I am a 15 y/o girl and haven't finished high school yet (I'm a sophomore), and do not have a ball python yet, which I have been researching since middle school but just recently decided to ask my parents about.

    My dad is pretty hesitant about it, but is still considering. On the other hand, my mom is a handful. Snakes make her skin crawl and although I've answered and rationalized all her questions, she is reluctant to let me get one (I will pay).
    She is saying that since I don't really take care of the family cat that often (because she says it's supposedly my cat because I wanted it to be 'mine' when I was 10, which is easy to understand as many young children want pets to 'themselves', if you know what I mean haha). I've explained everything you need to take care of the snake and that I take care of it and I will make sure that she doesn't have to see it/the mice and rats, associate with it, or take care of it in any way (for mice and rats, I have a mini freezer in my room which I can keep them in, but she seems bothered which is confusing to me lol). However, she is still very angry at the fact I want one and doesn't believe I will be responsible for it, which I think is a bit immature on her end. Oh yeah, she thinks it smells too.
    Another one of her main points is "what will you do when you go to college?", which I have already explained. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, which can allow me to qualify for the snake to be an emotional support animal (ESA), which colleges are authorized to accept, with a few exceptions. All domesticated animals may qualify as an ESA, including snakes. According to the Fair Housing Act, colleges/universities must make reasonable accommodations for people with disabilities requiring ESAs. Whenever I mention this, she tries to ignore me.

    How can I convince her that they aren't all that bad as she thinks they are? Please help!
    It is obvious you have done your research not only for the care of a snake but also the tools (Federal Laws) you plan to use to keep a snake when you attend college. Just be aware there are wheel barrow loads of laws colleges can use to possibly keep you tied up in court instead of the classroom if wish to pursue the route you are suggesting. Going to a college campus on day one and trying to prove a point may not be the best road to travel. Going to college, getting a degree, getting your own house and then getting a snake may be the road better traveled.

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Momokahn For This Useful Post:

    craigafrechette (06-18-2017),DLena (06-18-2017),Hypancistrus (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-18-2017)

  8. #5
    Registered User craigafrechette's Avatar
    Join Date
    01-27-2017
    Location
    Ayer, MA USA
    Posts
    2,829
    Thanks
    3,346
    Thanked 1,753 Times in 1,109 Posts
    When I was your age I would have had almost the same mentality you have now. As a matter of fact I was in high school when I first asked my parents about a pet snake. They very quickly said "heck no" and my father was adamant. Turns out he's pretty creeped out by snakes. Well, I ended up letting it go after a short time and respected their decision, it was their house, I had no choice. You may need to do the same.

    You are still very young and have a long life ahead of you. Waiting until you have your own place is your best bet, in my opinion. You've done your homework and are well prepared, that's awesome. You've also been interested in a snake as a pet for a few years, something tells me you'll still be interested in a few more years.

    They are amazing animals and awesome pets, but they are a HUGE commitment. Until you OWN your own home, keeping snakes can and probably will dictate where you live. You're already learning that snakes aren't for everyone since your parents don't want one in their house. College dorms won't allow them, many landlords won't allow them which eliminates any house or apartment you may want to rent. You may need a roommate/roommates at some point, now you need a roommate/roommates who want to live with a snake.

    I know you mentioned the animal being an ESA, which may be a possibility. I don't have first-hand knowledge, but have read a little on the topic. As mentioned by somebody above, you're probably looking at tons of paperwork, extra time and frustration, etc... Your applications may get passed over for somebody else with similar grades, etc... but who isn't asking to bring a snake on campus. Is it right? No. But does it happen in the real world? Yes.
    Is having a snake at this point in your life worth possibly being passed over? Or possibly having to wait a semester or two until proper housing is available?

    So, all that being said, it may be best to wait a few years until the time is right for you to get your first snake. You've already waited a few years, maybe it is best to wait a few more. As you know, snakes live long lives as far as pets go. So since you have many years ahead of you, maybe it's best to wait...
    Last edited by craigafrechette; 06-18-2017 at 08:25 AM.
    ...life is beautiful...

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to craigafrechette For This Useful Post:

    ballpythonluvr (06-18-2017),MissterDog (06-18-2017),Ogre (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-19-2017)

  10. #6
    Registered User Booper's Avatar
    Join Date
    09-27-2016
    Location
    Somerset, England
    Posts
    337
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked 145 Times in 100 Posts
    Images: 2
    As a young snake owner living under a guardian's roof, I 100% empathize with the frustration of wanting a pet, knowing you can look after that pet, and yet having a parent/guardian say no. It sucks.
    But yet, (And this isn't what you want to hear) if it's not your house, unfortunately you need to comply with the rules set by the owner. And if that means no snake... Then that's that. You say you will pay for your snake- does that include having money set aside for emergency vet visits? For if, say a thermostat breaks and you need to get a new one right away? These things are not cheap, and I don't know your situation so I will liken it to my own, if you don't have a job and you're relying on someone else's income it's unfair to expect them to pay if something goes wrong, unless they are okay with it (Like my boyfriend) but your parents do not sound okay with it. There's also the electricity bills to think about- running a heat mat and a mini freezer 24/7 can add up, will you be contributing to the electricity bills?
    Saying that, the best way to convince a parent is to respect their current decision whilst trying to change their mind. And by that I mean don't stomp your feet, don't throw a tantrum (I can't help but feel like you sound like you're headed that way with frustration... I get it.). Respect them but keep doing your research, and every so often mention something to do with snakes to your parents, but don't push. If they can see that you are committed but respectful then maybe you might change your mind.
    I don't know anything about university since that boat has long sailed for me (lol) so I can't comment. Good luck!
    1.1 Humans (Dom & Cait)
    0.1 Normal Ball (Wanda 'Booper') 0.1 Pastel Ball (Peaches)
    1.0 Spider Ball (Cinnamon) 1.0 Caramel Ball (Mars Bar) 1.0 Butter Sucker (Coming 2018!)
    0.1 Leopard Gecko (Hecate)
    0.3 Cats (Loki, Meg and Maisy)
    0.0.2 Goldfish (Sushi and Spot)
    0.2 Chickens (Lottie and Tiffany)


  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Booper For This Useful Post:

    DLena (06-18-2017),MissterDog (06-18-2017),Ogre (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-19-2017)

  12. #7
    Telling it like it is! Deborah's Avatar
    Join Date
    09-28-2006
    Posts
    21,837
    Thanks
    5,260
    Thanked 14,551 Times in 7,321 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    Images: 5
    It's a long commitment (30+ears) and you are very young and your parent right now are doing you a favor, I did not see it that way when I was in your shoes but I do now, I wanted a snake, my parents said no and it was a goof thing, it allowed me to grow up, travel, live and supp myself abroad in 3 different countries which I would not have done it I had the responsibility of a snake. (I would have had to make a choice)

    You have time, if you are passionate now you will be in 10, 15, even 20 years.

    I went from no snakes to finally settling down abroad and now I breed snakes and have 2 snake rooms under my roof.

  13. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Deborah For This Useful Post:

    ballpythonluvr (06-18-2017),craigafrechette (06-18-2017),MissterDog (06-18-2017),Ogre (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-19-2017)

  14. #8
    BPnet Veteran tttaylorrr's Avatar
    Join Date
    11-10-2014
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    2,901
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,297 Posts
    Images: 32

    Re: how to convince parents to let me get a bp?

    i'll come at this from a different direction.

    you're at the point in your life where you will be undergoing MASSIVE life changes in a very small amount of time: schools, moving, education, discovering yourself without your family, undertaking life-changing responsibilities (getting your butt to class!) and a whole mess of stuff that's going to mold you into who you'll be for probably the rest of your life. that's HUGE!

    i'd really recommend you stay focused on your future with as few distractions as possible. sure, snakes are very easy to care for, but they do take time and money, and moving with an animal is no easy task. you need to be able to take any opportunities that you can at that point in your life.

    i recommend you start showing responsibility for the cat. don't make a big deal out of it, just start helping. this will help you out whether your parents change their minds or not; taking responsibility for something on your own is a big step to becoming a good person and pet owner, and your parents WILL take notice.

    i got my first snake when i got my first place. it won't kill you to wait i promise. 😊
    2.2 Ball Python
    1.0 2014 Albino (Yellow Lemon Lemongrab)
    0.1 2016 Coral Glow/Banana (Spaghetti Marinara Noodle)

    0.1 2017 Super Cinnamon (Coffee Bean) &
    1.0 2017 Piebald (Pumpkin Pie) &

    ?.? ???? ??????? (incoming)

    1.0 Corn Snake
    1.0 ?? Hypo ("Corny" Cornelius)


  15. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tttaylorrr For This Useful Post:

    ballpythonluvr (06-18-2017),craigafrechette (06-18-2017),MissterDog (06-18-2017),PokeyTheNinja (06-19-2017)

  16. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    05-23-2015
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    123
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 25 Times in 21 Posts
    Images: 9

    Re: how to convince parents to let me get a bp?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah View Post

    I went from no snakes to finally settling down abroad and now I breed snakes and have 2 snake rooms under my roof.
    Deborah, have you ever made a video on line about your snake rooms and feeders etc ??? Many people on here would find it very interesting to watch. And you could give advice and advertise a little on them. You could post them on you tube or maybe link them from here. Just wondering?

  17. #10
    Registered User
    Join Date
    05-23-2015
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    123
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 25 Times in 21 Posts
    Images: 9

    Re: how to convince parents to let me get a bp?

    Also I agree with the others who say it might be easier to put this idea on the back burner of your mind then it will be to convince them, just wait till after college to get not only a snake but other animals or more than one snake. Prove your maturity by letting it drop for now. And take better care of the cat in the mean time, to practice animal care.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to ballpythonsrock2 For This Useful Post:

    PokeyTheNinja (06-19-2017)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1