Advice on convincing parent to allow a snake

[Linkin]

What the title says. Some basic information before I go into more detail: I'm 16, and my (single) mother hates snakes.

I've done a lot of research over several months to decide if I want a snake, if I'm responsible enough to take care of a snake, and what kind of snake would be the best for me. I decided on a ball python for several reasons— They're adorable, they're very docile, and they don't get very big for a python. I'm aware that they can be more difficult to feed. Since they don't need very much room, and they are a species that I really like, they're perfect for my situation. I understand that a lot of preparation would have to happen before I could even find what snake I want to purchase. And of course I would have to save up, but I have a steady, albeit small income and some extra saved-up funds. I would rather save up for a few extra months than purchase a sickly animal. I've done my research on which morphs have issues and which ones are more likely to be healthy.

Yesterday, I approached my mother about the issue carefully and explained to her that ball pythons do not have fangs and are physically incapable of eating a person. Those are her two main snake fears, being bitten/eaten/killed by a snake. I would never own a snake that large— I'm not a professional and do not intend to ever be a professional in the reptile industry. I am only an animal lover. I told her that she would never have to see the snake, be around the snake, feed the snake, etc unless something happened to me. I explained to her that they're relatively easy to take care of, I told her the problems they have and the special treatment snakes require (for example, needing a thermostat for the snake tank). I explained that I will pay for everything, she need not give a single dime or ounce of attention to the snake.

I did everything you're supposed to do to convince a parent to let their child get a pet, and she said no. She kind of got mad at me for asking. The reasons she cited for not allowing the snake:

1. We have too many pets. 3 cats and 2 dogs. The dogs are hers, I did not purchase them and I only take care of them because I don't want them to be neglected. I do, however, completely take care of the cats. I clean their litter box, give them fresh water, and feed them. She and I both pay for the kibble, since she decided to get one of the cats and I decided to get the other two. They are essentially my cats. Ball pythons do not take nearly as much work as these pets and the snake would never be her responsibility. I also know that if my brother asked for a hamster or lizard she wouldn't say no, because he has had both before, despite the fact that he is too young and she'd have to be the one responsible for them.
2. Snakes live "too long". That's a pro for me. I love my animals like family and am actually quite upset that they don't live longer. I don't understand how it could be a con to her that a pet would live a long time. I would of course take the snake with me when I move out, which will most likely be sooner than later.
3. It would attack the other pets?? Obviously this would not happen. I told her all the reasons why that would never happen. In fact, I'd be more concerned about the other pets attacking the snake, which also wouldn't happen because I wouldn't allow them to interact with each other.
4. She doesn't want rats in her freezer. Which is perfectly understandable, but I'm capable of purchasing my own freezer. If she didn't want it in the garage, where her extra freezer is, I'm sure I could move around the furniture in my room to have space.


As you can see, logically she has no reason for me to not have a snake. It seems to me that she just doesn't want me to have one— But she's given me no actual reasons. If she gave me an actually good reason, I'd eagerly back off. But it seems she's just making excuses.

Do any of you snake owners have advice? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? If you have been in my shoes, what did you do, and did it fail or succeed? Do you see something I'm missing as to why it wouldn't be a good idea for me to have a snake, or is my mother just beyond convincing?

Thank you for your time. :^)

[Kira]

I would tell her that you would get an enclosure with a locking lid so there's no way that the snake could get out. A full grown ball python couldn't even take down a cat so she wouldn't have to worry about the pets. Besides, if the ball python were to escape, it would be the one in danger from your other pets!

Ball pythons are SUPER easy to take care of if you have done your research (you clearly have). It literally takes me about 5 minutes each day to take care of my single ball python. Remind her that you will absolutely take the snake with you when you move out. Another good thing about ball pythons is that they are nocturnal so she probably wouldn't see it during the day.

When you are trying to convince her, remain calm even if you get frustrated. Show her how responsible you are by continuing to take good care of your cats and dogs without complaining. Lastly, if she is dead-set on not having a snake in her house, please respect her decision. It may not seem fair but it's her house so it's her rules. Worst situation you have to wait until you move out to get your snake. I'm almost 22 and recently got my first ball python. Totally worth the wait! Good luck and awesome job on your research!

[MmmBanana]

What Kira said!

[predatorkeeper87]

You did everything you should have, but end of the day its her house and her rules. Respect her decision regardless of how you feel about it, keep doing research and save up for when you move out.

[Craiga 01453]

I like that you have done your research, very admirable, especially at your age.

However, it is HER house, you are HER child and until you have your own place you need to abide by HER rules.

You mentioned that you would probably be moving out sooner than later. That, combined with the life-span of a BP means it shouldn't be that hard to wait few years (ok, truth be told, I'd be anxious to get one too) until you do have your own place.

Something to consider in the meantime: I don't know your college plans, or your moving out plans or anything, but there are a LOT of places that wouldn't allow you to keep a snake there. College dorms, most apartments near colleges, and plenty of apartments and rental properties will not allow pets, exotic pets or even snakes specifically.
I had to rehome snakes when I was younger and had to move back in with my Dad for a bit. It was tough, but my options were extremely limited.

I think it's worth the wait. You seem like you'll be a great snake keeper when the time is right. If it's something you still want in a few years when you can home the snake yourself, then by all means go for it. Until then, you need to abide by and respect your mother's rules.

[Kira]

Oh and I forgot to write that you should mention that ball pythons don't make noise and don't stink (sometimes their poo does though). Speaking of, they only poo once every week or two so it's very easy to just spot clean the enclosure when needed.

[PitOnTheProwl]

Wait 2 more years

[rock]

A couple thoughts on a few different sides...

I'm a parent now so I probably understand some issues here that I would not have before becoming a parent. First of all, just generally speaking, it is tough enough being a parent and trying to raise kids, manage a household, work, etc... So she deserves credit for doing a great job and also some leeway if she is not seeing things the way you are. She might just be thinking she has enough on her plate and the risk of something throwing daily life and routine off track is just not worth it. Especially for an animal she is not inclined to like.

So, first thing is to emphasize how easy snakes are to keep once you have the proper set up. You have done your research, you will probably be excellent at maintaining a happy snake. As a parent, I was not willing to add another mouth to our household 6 months ago but when I researched and realized how a snake would likely not negatively impact our daily routine I gave my daughter the green light.

Second, please think about the impact of taking a snake with you upon graduating from high school. I would not have purchased a snake if I was renting an apt. or home. Dealing with landlords and their approval or the thought of moving everything would have been a deal breaker.

Even in college, alot of friends got dogs as soon as they moved out of their dorms and then they could only rent from certain places or had to pay extra in rent or deposits and it was always an excuse to not get a good chunk of deposits back when they moved. Seriously, you will need to hold onto all the dollars you can over the next 10 years, at least, and you will hopefully have lots of new and unexpected opportunities come your way.

After college in Tallahassee I took a job in Atlanta and after two years received a job offer of a lifetime and moved to Manhattan. Apparently, you cannot have a python in Manhattan. So what would I have done if I had a BP then? You just don't know where life will take you and it doesn't sound like you can send your snake back to your mom like alot of kids did in college when they realized owning a dog was problematic.

Good luck to you either way it works out!

[Booper]

If you do want to go ahead and try to convince your mum, remember that there will also be electricity costs. my boyfriend was 19 and myself 18 when we got our girl, and one way we convinced his mum to let us have a snake was by paying extra electricity bills. The rules are we have to keep the snake in our room at all times, and we also own our own mini freezer. We pay for all of her food, care, vet bills etc. Vet bills are a big point as well; I don't know your financial situation, but will you be able to shell out possibly hundreds of dollars if your snake needs sudden care? Or will that fall on your mother?

Personally, I think that the best way for you to go about this is to borrow book/do research to help convince your mother that not all snakes are bad. For my boyfriend's mother, this took us about a year. The first time we asked she straight up said no, and so we did our research and presented it to her. Over time she gave in.

Best of luck to you!

[Mike17]

Hey! I felt totally identified, my parents didn't wanted a snake on their house, and never was one LOL. But if you have 2 dogs and 3 cats you are more than prepared for a ball when the day come.

Anyway, when you get your place it is more than likely that you'll understand the saying "my house my rules". I would suggest you enjoy your pets for now, 5 are more than enough IMO. The day will come, don't worry.

This is more for you than for your mom, unlike many other pets where the pet is THE great investment and the extras are really cheap I would say it's the oposite for balls, where the animal is rather cheap (most cases) but the extras to keep them properly are really expensive. Just a heads up.

And about the freezer, even it's my freezer in my house and there is no one to tell me what to do, I don't like that either, I simply go to the pet shop every Sunday and get a single mouse she will eat that same day. And it haven't happened, but if she wouldn't take it I would throw it away, no feeders on my freezer .


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