Children & hobbies... are they mutually exclusive?

[Hypancistrus]

So I am getting married next summer and my fiance and I have been talking about potentially having children in the future. At first neither of us wanted to, but now my sister is pregnant and we are sort of reconsidering. My biggest fear is that having a kid will basically make me a one dimensional person-- THE PARENT. So many of my friends on FB who were interested in all sorts of things prior to kids now only talk about or post about their kids. It's all they do. I'm just getting started on breeding geckos. I read a lot, and hike and fish and hunt. I love who I am now. My fiance loves who she is. We're worried that to become parents would mean giving all of that up. So I was wondering if some of you who DO have kids and are herp keepers/breeders could weigh in on this. And if you DON'T have kids... do you worry about the same things?

[Reinz]

Most parents easily make most sacrifices on behalf of their children and are glad to.

It doesn't mean that you have to become a changed person, it just means that your priorities are in order.

Having a child will show you what is truly important in life, family. Everything else is just minutiae.

I'm not a breeder, just obsessed with my snakes. But I have raised two fine girls that are on their own.

I don't regret having them in the least in place of selfish desires that I no longer remember.

It's a tough decision having kids, the rewards are endless though.

Best

[distaff]

Frankly, I don't see any upsides, but I never wanted any.

Kids aren't allowed to have a normal childhood any more. That makes me sad. We aren't currently raising self supporting people. The recent kerfluffles on US campuses about "safe spaces" and "micro agression" tell me something has gone very wrong, ...and, these students are ahead of the up-incoming batch that will be educated under common core.

I at least wouldn't raise kids in the US. Way to many regulations, too many required vacs, and too much harrasment from CPS.

[jclaiborne]

I agree with Reinz...once you have a child you begin to realize what is important in your life. My son is going to be 8 this year. I have not given up any of my hobbies, throughout the years I may not have been able to dedicate as much time to certain ones, but to me it's not an issue/sacrifice, because I enjoy spending time with my son. You start to get them involved in your hobbies as they grow and you get to enjoy it from a whole different aspect.

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[Reinz]

To add:

If you do decide to halt breeding plans in place of having a child, you can always pick up where you left off in a few short years.

Outside of parental love, there is nothing better than raising kids with animals. It develops the best attributes in humans; caring, loving, respect, empathy, desire to learn, among a few.

I firmly believe that the best hearted and nicest people that I met in life have or have had animals in their background at an enthusiastic level. Especially the ones that pass the torch on to their children.

[jclaiborne]

Frankly, I don't see any upsides, but I never wanted any.

Kids aren't allowed to have a normal childhood any more. That makes me sad. We aren't currently raising self supporting people. The recent kerfluffles on US campuses about "safe spaces" and "micro agression" tell me something has gone very wrong, ...and, these students are ahead of the up-incoming batch that will be educated under common core.

I at least wouldn't raise kids in the US. Way to many regulations, too many required vacs, and too much harrasment from CPS.

This is a little dramatic, I have never been harassed by CPS, they aren't on the hunt to get you, my son has a very normal childhood, reptiles, dogs, fishing, camping, 4 wheelin, shooting, archery, soccer, soon to start hockey, the list goes on...

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[JoshSloane]

Stick with your hobbies, and include your children with it. I don't have any kids, but coming from a guy who grew up in a broken home with two very unhappy parents, I can tell you that maintaining your own happiness for yourself and your fiancé is very important for your children. Your potential unhappiness from giving up your own life and interests will eventually trickle down to your kids. Owning reptiles can be a very enriching activity for both parent and child to bond over, learn responsibility, and maturity. Interacting and caring for animals as a child also widely expands the child's knowledge base, curiosity and understanding of the world around them.

Taking a fishing or hunting trip once in a while to clear your head and refresh yourself is going to pay big dividends over time. Don't give it up, instead include your kids in the activities and help pass down your knowledge and understanding to future generations.

Granted I don't have kids currently, but my beautiful fiancé and I are considering them in the future, and hope to maintain our love for nature, hiking, camping etc even with children.

[Reinz]

Frankly, I don't see any upsides, but I never wanted any.

Kids aren't allowed to have a normal childhood any more. That makes me sad. We aren't currently raising self supporting people. The recent kerfluffles on US campuses about "safe spaces" and "micro agression" tell me something has gone very wrong, ...and, these students are ahead of the up-incoming batch that will be educated under common core.

I at least wouldn't raise kids in the US. Way to many regulations, too many required vacs, and too much harrasment from CPS.

EVERY generation says this world is too messed to bring another child into it!

But somehow they learn to overcome.

The parents have to be better at parenting than the world.

[Slim]

My twins turn 16 this summer. I have always included them in my hobbies until they wanted to stop participating, or developed their own interests. Now we are all a hodge podge of each other's interests. We have on the same weekend, attended a reptile expo, soccer match, dance recital, and had a blast riding roller coasters. I love that they like some of the things I love, and I love that they include me in the things that interest them.

[JoshSloane]

I do agree with distaff about the political correctness that has invaded our education system.

And I do agree with Reinz that every generation feels that the way they were brought up was tougher and better than how children are being raised today. That being said I really do feel that with the deluge of technology available today that children are missing out on being kids. I watch my friends hand their kids ipads and iphones, instead of playing catch and teaching them how to fix things.

When I was a kid all I wanted to do was come home from school and play outside, catch fish/crayfish/frogs from the lake and go to baseball/football/lacrosse practice. Now we have kids being expelled from school for wearing American flag t-shirts and praying after a football game.

No doubt things have gone awfully awry in the US, but if you want kids, and feel that you are in the right place for it emotionally and financially, you shouldn't let any other factors deter you. My family endured unbearable hardship in pre-Nazi Europe, and still created families and had productive lives.

The fun part about life is that we get to decide how we want to live. Sure we all have financial and other restrictions, but within reason we should all live how we desire. If you want to have kids, breed leopard geckos and take your kids hunting and fishing then do it. You will be way ahead of those families that sit in their sterile trendy homes and do what the mainstream media and MTV tells them to.