Vote for BP.Net for the 2013 Forum of the Year! Click here for more info.

» Site Navigation

» Home
 > FAQ

» Online Users: 2,951

1 members and 2,950 guests
Most users ever online was 6,337, 01-24-2020 at 04:30 AM.

» Today's Birthdays

None

» Stats

Members: 75,031
Threads: 248,490
Posts: 2,568,448
Top Poster: JLC (31,651)
Welcome to our newest member, isismomma
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19

Thread: Lost Cat

  1. #11
    BPnet Veteran
    Join Date
    05-16-2013
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 79 Times in 62 Posts

    Re: Lost Cat

    Quote Originally Posted by nightwolfsnow View Post
    I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Unfortunately the losses do seem to come together.

    It sounds like you're doing all you can to find him, and we can only do what we can do. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to properly grieve. My first cat died shortly after my youngest went missing. Its two completely different set of emotions. The death is very raw and everything just kind of comes out at once. But when they're missing it keeps you up at night, never really leaves your thoughts, and its a really empty feeling.
    That's exactly what it feels like. I just want to go out there and get him, except I know I can't when I don't even know where he is. There was a house I lived at for four years. It was on the side of the highway, set back a little with two acres just to myself, my brother and one household within that area. I would let him out during the day and bring him in at night. I had to time it just right and make him think I was just out there to say hi and pet him. If he caught a hint of foul play he'd take off and stay out all night. But he always came back. Eventually he'd be there, laying in the yard and giving me the slow blinking lovey eyes.

    Every time I hear the neighbors dog bark in the night, every time I hear the slightest noise, I think it's him. It's torture. This is the same cat I brought up with me to Washington. My brother couldn't drive down to pick me up, and the only method of travel that would accept a cat was the plane. I thought at first I could have him with me in the cabin, but wasn't told until I got to the airport the very specific requirements for that. They forced me to put him in the belly of the plane last minute. It wasn't a very long flight but I remember waiting for everyone else to get off before catching the first flight attendant and demanding him back. He was so scared on the walk to the baggage claim he didn't make a sound, he just jumped from one end of the carrier to the other, nearly throwing me off my feet in the process. I whispered to him over and over again a promise that I would never, ever take him on a plane again.

    Almost every night as I settled down to sleep he would settle right by my shoulder, shifting his body until he could press against me slightly. It took me a long time to not be so restless at night and have him sleep by me all night. He would shift with me from room to room, never wanting to be very far away when I was in the house. He never gave a rats ass about catnip, and he would lightly pat my shoulder when he wanted pets.

    The closest bond I've ever had with an animal has been him. He was my first cat and a good friend at a period of my life where I was at my most fragile, mentally and emotionally. And now I have no idea if he's alive or dead, and I know I'll feel guilty as hell when I have to move to California in about a month and a half. This is not how I wanted it to end, and it's been leaving me in a general state of depression since he escaped. I just find myself completely uninterested in things suddenly during the day, and feeling guilty for doing anything but looking under every rock I can for him. I have no outlet for it, no way to either grieve or find him. There's no closure.

    Quote Originally Posted by CloudtheBoa View Post
    I'm so sorry to hear your cat is gone.

    My (then) 6 year old cat went missing over 2 years ago, I never found her. I asked everyone within 5 blocks in any direction, put up posters everywhere, put up ads on Craigslist, and everything. I didn't learn about the smell thing until after she'd been gone for a year. I'm starting to think my roommate got rid of her because my mom told me he complained all day about her meowing when she went missing, and he's gotten rid of our pets before.

    I really hope you find him soon, it's hard losing a pet.

    I posted on here a couple years ago about a roommate (it was an emergency move that went to hell in a handbasket within a few months) that I suspected got rid of/killed my pet ball python (who was a rescue and my first ball python, I'd only had corn snakes before that). I never found out what happened, but both her (sort of) boyfriend and the other friend I talked to were entirely too defensive. It was dozens of little clues during my interactions with them that led me to believe they had done something on purpose. Not to mention that when I came to pick up the snakes and give them to the person I would, ultimately, rehome them too permanently, the ball's cage was securely closed, but empty, and had a note I couldn't fully make out from said roommate on top.

    Afterwards I blew up at the friend, who had the balls to tell me the snake had probably escaped. I tried to turn off the heat in the house and set up the cage with the top off, with a heat lamp on and food in the cage, to lure him back but the stupid roommate came back and partied in the house that night, ruining my chances of ever finding my snake.

    I hate it when people treat animals like objects. Some people are just like that. They hear the dog barking and hate the noise, so they gid rid of/hurt the dog to make it stop. That's a sign of a sociopath, by the way. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.

    I really appreciate everyone who has replied to this thread and continues to keep a dialog open here. My bad times have always been at night. Everything I normally keep it check wells up, and especially now, it can get overwhelming enough that the silence I need to sleep is something I want to avoid. That's what happened to me when I opened the thread in the first place. I couldn't stop crying and it felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside, with nowhere to go. I wanted to run at the same time I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Just coming here and being able to read the replies helps.

    At this point I just quietly cry and feel like I'm dying inside. It feels like giving up, and I hate giving up. I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
    "Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

    -W.S. Merwin

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to PhoenixGate For This Useful Post:

    nightwolfsnow (09-14-2015)

  3. #12
    BPnet Veteran nightwolfsnow's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-12-2015
    Location
    Suffolk, VA
    Posts
    619
    Thanks
    2,299
    Thanked 328 Times in 188 Posts
    Images: 1
    I honestly haven't been the same since I lost my cat. I pretty much became emotionless. Its hard to feel like you failed a living creature that depended on you. I didn't leave home unless it was to go to work. I stopped answering phone calls and texts. I even shut my fiance out. I didn't fell like anyone understood. I felt like everyone thought I was crazy for taking it so hard. But its not just a cat. At least not for those of us who have sometimes had only pets for real friends. Its like losing your child and your best friend all rolled into one. People who wouldn't say you were over reacting for becoming depressed after losing a child. A big reason I got into BP's was because I thought getting another pet would help me feel less empty. It was the first time I was actually excited in months. Getting three kittens really helped fill that gap too, but its still not the same. My sister never even apologized for being the reason she got out, and she only helped me look twice. I know you don't want to stop looking, it feels like if you don't go out that night you'll miss him. But at this point its really up to him. My oldest cat was gone for a week one time. I thought I was never going to see her again. But she came back like nothing happened. I think cats that have been outside before have a better chance at surviving and coming home. Maybe he's just making up for lost time.
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Champagne (Orochimaru)
    0.1 Mojave Bumble Bee (Gwnyvere)
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Coral Glow (Jiraiya)
    0.1 Hypo (Kisame)
    0.1 Enchi Leopard 66% Het Pied (Matatabi)
    0.1 Black Head Red Gene (Kushina)
    0.1 GHI Mojave (Tsume)
    0.1 Piebald (Tsunade)
    0.1 Super Stripe (Temari)
    0.1 Albino Spinner (Kurenai)
    0.1 Vanilla Calibee (Ino)

  4. #13
    BPnet Veteran
    Join Date
    05-16-2013
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 79 Times in 62 Posts
    I really hope he is just making up for lost time. I'm starting to get back into normal routines and be excited about things, like a good day at work. I've been occupied lately hammering out the details of my move down to California in a few weeks.

    It helps that I've gone through a similar loss. My brother got a dog about a year before my cat that's now lost. We had him for twelve years. When he died, it was like someone physically cut one of my limbs off. It was horrible. But I got to say goodbye, and while he didn't get buried at the place we currently lived at a very good friend agreed to bury him in her backyard alongside her dogs. That will be his final resting place until my friend eventually passes away in a few decades, at which point myself and/or my brother will make the effort to move his grave with us (which will probably be a very interesting endeavor and won't happen for decades, but he was a very good friend to me (even though he was a dog) and I love him that much.

    In some ways it was easier with Mike. I got to pet him one last time before we wrapped him up. With Asher, I have no idea if he's still dead or alive so it's different. Since Mike died July 1st, 2013 I've been scrambling and struggling, homeless at one point and locked into a torturous roommate situation that I only got out of last February (It was literally torturous. My crowning moments were a roommate threw a glass at my door, which shattered (not aimed at me), another roommate spit into my face (first time in my life that's happened), and I got shoved partially through a wall). Since February I experienced a lot of changes at work; co-workers leaving, several managers leaving including our resort manager. In March my mother died, and it happened fairly rapidly even though really I've been waiting for her to go for a couple years now, ever since she was diagnosed with diabetes, Alzheimers and dementia almost back to back. I remember looking at my brother and saying "she's not going to make it another two years" after I heard the news. I was right, although it's painful how accurate that statement was. I had a very rocky relationship with my mother, so her death was very upsetting but it also settled a lot of old emotional baggage.

    Also, during that bad roommate situation, I ended up having to move into an in bed truck camper. I had to get rid of a lot of things I'd held on to, 95% of my things went into storage at a friends place and I'm now living in basically a 15x15 box (it's probably bigger than that) with no water heater. I was told it worked when I bought the camper, only to discover that's not true at all. So for the last six months or so I've been showering by filling a five gallon bucket with hot water from my coffee maker! So much fun. But housing in the area is so expensive the camper is all I can afford.

    What I'm trying to get at is that Asher running off in the night and not coming back (so far) is the crowning moment of a really s**ty two years. It feels like I've been slowly losing things and gaining nothing. I fought really, really hard to be able to keep my cats (another reason I can't afford housing in the area). I even had to give up my two snakes (one I'm pretty sure was killed/gotten rid of by the roommate who was so crazy I ended up moving out and living in a homeless shelter for three months. I miss having snakes. I miss it like people miss the sun in the winter.

    I was really excited about the move before Asher ran away. I was really looking forward on bringing him with me as I start a chapter of my life where I can finally start building instead of just surviving. I hope he does show up one day, with cobwebs in his whiskers and burrs in his fur, asking if he can come in and have dinner like nothing happened. He's running out of time (of course I'll come back up for him if he's found after I move). Plus winter is coming, and it freezes at night up here. I'm going to go out on my next day off and speak to the extended neighbors, see if someone took him in and kept him (he escaped without a collar). Maybe he's still out there. Maybe I'll never see him again.

    It's just the most horrible way to top off the s**t cake that has been these last couple of years.
    Last edited by PhoenixGate; 09-19-2015 at 11:56 PM.
    "Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

    -W.S. Merwin

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to PhoenixGate For This Useful Post:

    nightwolfsnow (09-20-2015)

  6. #14
    BPnet Veteran nightwolfsnow's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-12-2015
    Location
    Suffolk, VA
    Posts
    619
    Thanks
    2,299
    Thanked 328 Times in 188 Posts
    Images: 1
    It sounds like you've had it really rough. I hope you find Asher before you have to move so you'll have one less hole in your heart.
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Champagne (Orochimaru)
    0.1 Mojave Bumble Bee (Gwnyvere)
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Coral Glow (Jiraiya)
    0.1 Hypo (Kisame)
    0.1 Enchi Leopard 66% Het Pied (Matatabi)
    0.1 Black Head Red Gene (Kushina)
    0.1 GHI Mojave (Tsume)
    0.1 Piebald (Tsunade)
    0.1 Super Stripe (Temari)
    0.1 Albino Spinner (Kurenai)
    0.1 Vanilla Calibee (Ino)

  7. #15
    Registered User D3lacr0ix's Avatar
    Join Date
    09-27-2015
    Location
    St. Petersburg, FL
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Re: Lost Cat

    Have you moved recently? Sometimes they will hike back to their old home. My cat when I was little did that two or three times... The old house was almost 5 miles away. We got lucky he wasn't hit by a car.

    If you haven't moved recently, I would take some of your dirty laundry and leave it outside your house. They can pick up the scent and it'll help him find his way home if he is just lost.
    It is possible someone else found him and is taking care of him. It's unlikely animal control would pick him up-- most cities have feral cat programs where they are fixed and released. Unless he's causing a problem somewhere then he's probably fine.

    Post on some local facebook pages, Craigslist, put some signs up around a two mile radius with his picture on it. I really hope your baby finds his way back to you!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to D3lacr0ix For This Useful Post:

    nightwolfsnow (10-01-2015)

  9. #16
    BPnet Veteran
    Join Date
    05-16-2013
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 79 Times in 62 Posts

    Re: Lost Cat

    Quote Originally Posted by D3lacr0ix View Post
    Have you moved recently? Sometimes they will hike back to their old home. My cat when I was little did that two or three times... The old house was almost 5 miles away. We got lucky he wasn't hit by a car.

    If you haven't moved recently, I would take some of your dirty laundry and leave it outside your house. They can pick up the scent and it'll help him find his way home if he is just lost.
    It is possible someone else found him and is taking care of him. It's unlikely animal control would pick him up-- most cities have feral cat programs where they are fixed and released. Unless he's causing a problem somewhere then he's probably fine.

    Post on some local facebook pages, Craigslist, put some signs up around a two mile radius with his picture on it. I really hope your baby finds his way back to you!
    I've done all of that. I'm going to go on a day off next week and talk to the neighbors one more time. I'ts thirteen days today until I move, and there's still utterly no sign of him. I call the humane society once a week to check on him, nothing. I've posted on local facebook pages, nothing. I've spread the word in the area that I'm looking for him, what my information is and what he looks like. Nothing. It's awful, it's heartbreaking and I'm having dreams two or three times a week of miraculously finding him. They're so real that i'll linger in bed after I wake up, holding onto those images even though I know they're not real.
    "Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

    -W.S. Merwin

  10. #17
    BPnet Veteran nightwolfsnow's Avatar
    Join Date
    07-12-2015
    Location
    Suffolk, VA
    Posts
    619
    Thanks
    2,299
    Thanked 328 Times in 188 Posts
    Images: 1

    Re: Lost Cat

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixGate View Post
    I've done all of that. I'm going to go on a day off next week and talk to the neighbors one more time. I'ts thirteen days today until I move, and there's still utterly no sign of him. I call the humane society once a week to check on him, nothing. I've posted on local facebook pages, nothing. I've spread the word in the area that I'm looking for him, what my information is and what he looks like. Nothing. It's awful, it's heartbreaking and I'm having dreams two or three times a week of miraculously finding him. They're so real that i'll linger in bed after I wake up, holding onto those images even though I know they're not real.
    That really sucks. Whenever I get on here I hope to see a post saying that you got him back. I recently had a dream that my first cat was still alive and I woke up thinking it was real for a few minutes. Really hurts once you realize it was just a dream.
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Champagne (Orochimaru)
    0.1 Mojave Bumble Bee (Gwnyvere)
    1.0 VPI Axanthic Coral Glow (Jiraiya)
    0.1 Hypo (Kisame)
    0.1 Enchi Leopard 66% Het Pied (Matatabi)
    0.1 Black Head Red Gene (Kushina)
    0.1 GHI Mojave (Tsume)
    0.1 Piebald (Tsunade)
    0.1 Super Stripe (Temari)
    0.1 Albino Spinner (Kurenai)
    0.1 Vanilla Calibee (Ino)

  11. #18
    BPnet Veteran
    Join Date
    05-16-2013
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 79 Times in 62 Posts

    Re: Lost Cat

    Quote Originally Posted by nightwolfsnow View Post
    That really sucks. Whenever I get on here I hope to see a post saying that you got him back. I recently had a dream that my first cat was still alive and I woke up thinking it was real for a few minutes. Really hurts once you realize it was just a dream.
    You can always pm me. I knew the dream wasn't real, and that's what hurt the worst I think. I knew it wasn't real, but I wanted it to be so badly that I just hung onto it. I even managed to doze off again and go looking for him, but I couldn't find him this time.

    It's getting colder and colder at night. He's been out at night up here in the winter before, but it still makes me worried. Mostly I'm just upset. I've been through this with my brother's cat as well, who ran off in December, right before my brother's birthday. This was back in 2009 I think. Anyway, he never came home either and never turned up at any of the neighbors. We're pretty sure the local coyote pack got him. He wasn't the smartest cat and he'd taken a really bad thump to the head in the summer when he was only a few months hold. The way he behaved after that we were always pretty sure he had some brain damage.

    At least with a dog, you usually can find out what happened. This is one of the bad things about cats, I think. They're so stealthy, that sometimes they just disappear. It's going to take a while to be able to wake up and not hurt that Asher isn't here. If by some miracle he pops up after I move, I'll drive up from freaking Oregon to come get him. I will always come back for him.

    I just wish he was here.
    "Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

    -W.S. Merwin

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to PhoenixGate For This Useful Post:

    nightwolfsnow (10-25-2015)

  13. #19
    BPnet Veteran
    Join Date
    05-16-2013
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 79 Times in 62 Posts
    I made the move to Oregon successfully with both remaining cats. Still no word on Asher. Aussie and Murry are very happy with the move, they love all the new space in the new house.
    "Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

    -W.S. Merwin

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1