Such a painful loss, so close to the holidays

[Chaoticpythons]

Well, the title says it. Yesterday my dog had had 7 seizures in less then 24 hours. We called out regular vet. She had had seizures before, but never this bad. Our regular vet had said previously it could have been polyurethane that we were using on the floors the triggered them last time. So we stopped. And no seizures. Well she started having them again Monday night. And into Tuesday. So we did as the vet said to do. And took her to the emergency vet. After examining her, and asking us many questions.. They said it was either water on her brain, brain abnormalities, the liver not filtering her wastes and toxins correctly, or a combination of any of the above. And she very likely had brain damage after these 7. The vet said, that there is no treatment for what was happening here. That is was def not epilepsy.. And they couldn't do anything. They could hospitalize her, but it would be just buying her time. A day or so. It broke our hearts to here this. At 2 years old, nobody expects to lose there dog.. And we had to make the choice, to let her suffer and have more till they killed her, or to let her be put to sleep. We asked what the vet would do if it were her dog. She said, "I would put her to sleep. It's better a day early, then a hour too late and to let them become extremely miserable and in pain." We said okay.. We got to spend some time with her.. We cried and cried and held her. She fell asleep from a sedative they gave. And knocked on the door after our goodbyes were said. We stayed with her through the processs.. And petted her. I rested my hand on her head and told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was and then her heart just stopped.. My heart broke into a million pieces.. And I couldn't stop the tears.. They wrapped her up all nice in a blanket and sent her home with us so we could bury her. This is by far the most painful thing I have felt, and hardest choice I have been through. Man.. This is wearing heavy on my heart. Home feels so empty now, even though we have other pets. Last night I swore I could here her whining and barking then running around along with her collar dinging.. I jumped out of bed just to see her grave outside the window and her collar in my room. I guess my mind was playing tricks on me.. I am just taking it a day at a time. RIP Aby, your life was way to short and I will always miss you. Oct. 8, 2012 - December 23, 2014.

[EL-Ziggy]

I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP Aby.

[Cumminsman]

I am so deeply sorry! I too have had to put my best friend to sleep and it was one of the hardest times in my life. It has been about 10 years ago and I still think about her all the time. Her collar still to this day hangs by my bed on my night stand. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. You did the right thing. She is out of pain and in a better place. You will meet up with her one day and she will be sitting there wagging her tail waiting on you! Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[Chaoticpythons]

Thank you both. I have never had to have a pet put to sleep before. I have had pets pass naturally, or lose them to cars etc. But never have been part of a choice to end the suffering. And it is a choice that def sours my stomach. I watched the whole thing. And while it was very peaceful. It haunts me.. And I almost regret it. But I do know it was likely the right choice. And I hope one day the pain lessens inside of me. But for now, I know I must like it hurt and express how I feel, as bottling up would worsen it. I just don't even know how to begin to handle any of this. :/

[Cumminsman]

Just keep your head up and remember that she is in a better place and happy with no pain. I know it's easier said then done. Everything happens for a reason.

[AlexisFitzy]

Oh I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a pup is an extremely hard thing to go through. I feel your pain. I had to put my dog Hossy to sleep after spending 15 years together about 2 years ago and I still think about him and cry at night sometimes. But I hope the regret you feel goes away. The only thing that made me sad about putting my sweet pup to sleep was the thought of him not being around anymore, but I thought the entire process was such a beautiful experience, which is a weird thing to say but I think it's a beautiful thing that our pups get to spend their last moments surrounded with loving people and the last words they get to hear are "I love you." It's the way I would like to go. I know right now you are feeling regret but I hope you'll feel the same way I do about my pup. I miss him with all my heart and soul but I'm so glad he's no longer suffering and that I got to be with him up until the very end. We will both see our pups again some day

Also I know your feeling like this pain will never ever go away, but I promise it will some day. It just takes time. Even though you will probably have some break downs here and there throughout the years you will get through this

[ballpythonluvr]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy having to make the choice to put a beloved pet down. Take comfort in knowing that you gave her the best life possible and that she is no longer suffering. She is over the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you. You will see her again one day.

[Chaoticpythons]

Thank you everyone. Christmas was very hard for me.. As I had bought her a stocking and toys before having to have her pts. And it was hanging on the wall with the other dogs. I felt wrong giving them the stuff..And I felt wrong letting it just set there. I just boxed it up with the rest of her stuff and put it up. Sigh..