some of my life experiences/story (through my poetry)

[mommanessy247]

poem #1: I learned...

I've been abandoned
I learned I was unlovable.

I've been molested and raped
I learned powerlessness.

I tried to speak up but was silenced
I learned I had secrets.

I've been treated like an outcast
I learned I'm flawed and imperfect.

I learned everything is not as it seems.
I learned protection is having barriers.

I've been chewed up and spit out
I learned I'm not worthy.

I'm a mother
I learned sacrifice.

I'm a lover
I learned love is painless.

I'm a victim
I learned "Knowledge is power"

Life is about overcoming tragedies and celebrating every moment of peace. Life is a story that's only partway written and we have to choose how it ends. Do we succumb to the fear, pain, and strife or do we rise above it and show we can be strong?


poem #2: Knocked up & Forgotten

He was tall, dark, and handsome.
I was young, lonely and friendly.
He liked me and I liked him.
He spoke of cool things and I soon
was hypnotized by what I thought was love.
He had dreams. He had goals.
I just needed someone to follow.
A companion in him I found.
It wasnt long before I called him mine
and he called me his.

But something went wrong it wasnt long
before he began spitting harsh angry words and
smashing things next to or around me.
Then one night I broke the golden rule.
I said "I'm pregnant."

He told me he had to go away. Told me to not tell
anyone I was pregnant and if anyone should ask it wasnt his.
I thought how dare he? How could he?
After that he turned from mean and spiteful
to controlling and manipulative. I believed his promises and
humbled at his threats.

Finally I grew a brain and said to him
"No more. I'm done. No more lies, no more threats, no more empty promises."

My daughter is my world. She came from something that went sour
but I got the sweetest part.


poem #3: Stranger

Who is this stranger?
That I so almost
identically resemble.
That is so much a part
of my heart,
but never at all
a part of my life.

Who is this stranger?
That I so much
feel love for,
that I sometimes,sadly,
yearn to hold
to hug in the mornings,
to kiss goodnight or goodbye,
to talk to,
to know.

Who is this stranger?
That I see as I stare
into my mirror.
That I see in my forhead,
my high cheekbones and
my down turned mouth.

This stranger
is my mother.

Always my mother.

But forever a stranger.



poem #4: My Liquid Savior


You come in a glass,

Sometimes a can.


My Liquid Savior.

You've so often helped me escape reality, made me think everything was ok, that everyone understood me & that I was invincible...


My Liquid Savior .

You put a curtain over my eyes & made the world slow down.

But where were you when I decided

I no longer wanted to live?

Filled up on your liquid bliss

I gave up.


My Liquid Savior.

I know now that it was you all along

When I thought I was ok, it was your whispered lie.

When I thought I was invincible, it was you flowing through my veins.

When I thought everyone understood me, it was you talking.



Once upon a time you were my Liquid Savior,

Now you're my Liquid Traitor.


poem #5: After All This Time

We were like sisters, you & I,
Opposites yet so much alike,
I thought it'd last forever,
After all this time...


Who knew it'd fall apart?
How does a friendship so strong
suddenly become so weak?
Abandonment & betrayal
amidst love & respect.
After all this time...


I am the fool in the end
for believing it'd last,
for believing you cared.
I should've known better
After all this time...


Now I'm alone with my despair,
alone with this anger,
part of me feels empty.
but you have your man,
the one you choose to be
loyal to instead of our 15 yrs...
after all this time...


You live on with him now
ignoring your promise
breaching the contract
after all this time...


We're not like sisters anymore,
opposites staying so forever,
what we had is over.
after all this time.


poem #6: A Lost Sister

My sister, my friend,
Where are you?

We've never met & yet I yearn for you.
To talk to, to laugh with, to know.


My sister, my confidant,
Where are you?

I long for you
Like a desert longs for rain.

My sister, my partner,
Where are you?

I pray for you
May you be healthy & happy
wherever you are.

My sister, my playmate
Where are you?

I found you!

Together we'll rock this world,
together at last,
together forever.


poem #7: Didn't you...

(to my mother)

I was your baby.
I was so little,
so innocent.
I didn't know.

Didn't you want me?

I was your little girl.
I was so cute,
so loving.
I had no clue.

Didn't you love me?

I was a teenager.
I was so angry.
You left me
alone in this world.

Didn't you care about me?

I'm a woman now.
I feel so alone,
So empty.
I need to know...

Don't you need me?


poem #8: Daddy dont...

I have a good family now.
They love me, don't you see?
Daddy don't take me.

But you did anyways,
you took me away.
Now i'm lost & with a stranger.
I don't know you, who are you?

You drink too much
and when you drink, your mean.
daddy don't hurt me.

But you did anyways.
you broke my arm.
now i'm hurt & want to leave
please let me go.

My family tried to call me.
they miss me, don't you see?
daddy don't lie.

But you did anyways.
you lied & they don't know
how i'm doing.

Then you left me in the
children's services office.
now i'm alone & unwanted.
where am i going to go now?

I ended up in another bad place.
a big girl there touched me.
i don't like this.

I went back to my family 6 months later.
now i'm safe but i still remember you.
days filled with pain, nights filled with terror.
you did this, don't you see?
you took me, hurt me, then left me.

I hated you, don't you see?
i'm all grown up now,
but i'm a shipwreck of issues
thanks to you.

I want to find you,
to tell you.
daddy dont run away.

But your out there somewhere.
i'll find you & tell you that
i forgive you.

I need rest from this pain, terror & memories.
this life must go on, must heal.

Daddy, I forgive you.

[Melody]

Youre poetry is beautiful and yet very heart wrenching. I finding it rather interesting because a lot of those poems I cant actually relate to... I've actually been through very similar situations of most of the topics you wrote about. You are very inspiring to me