Day 176 - Plateaus and an Emotional Breakthrough

[JLC]

I know from experience that a weight-loss plateau is usually defined as a lack of progress over a long stretch of time even when you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing. But I'm realizing now that a "plateau" can come in many different forms. They can be mental and/or emotional as well. I think I've been stuck on one ever since the new year started. As I've already talked about in a previous entry, the start of the year was pretty rough for me. And ever since, I've been struggling. Never giving up...but the journey became a quagmire rather than a smooth road. And while I continued to slowly lose weight, my mental and emotional states were making no progress whatsoever during this time. (Or if they were, such progress was in no way apparent to me at the time.) Every decision was painfully difficult and the whole point of the struggle and the journey itself was constantly in question.

Two weeks ago saw another upward bounce in the weight-game and it's taken me these two weeks to get that back off and back to my lowest point where I was three weeks ago.....so no net loss to dance about this week...but at least I'm back in the right direction.

As with any plateau, if you keep moving forward no matter what, you WILL eventually reach the end of it and see real progress once again. In this case, I found a book that opened my eyes to some entirely new concepts I'd never considered before. I now have a whole new way of looking at the process of weight loss and my own role in it. I'll tell you what the book was in a minute...but first let me share with you what I got out of it.

All my life, when it came to eating...even when I knew it was something that probably wouldn't be "good" for me in the long run...it always felt like "tomorrow's problem." Kinda like using a credit card. You KNOW the bill will eventually come due...but it won't today, so don't worry about it. If I eat that cake or snork up that bag of chips...yeah, I'll probably gain a little weight...but it won't magically show up today, so why worry about it right now?

In addition to that perfect procrastinator's paradigm, I have always had a deeply negative emotional connotation about being overweight. It's a mantra of our society that if you just have enough "will power" you can be thin and fit...and therefore, by definition, if you're not thin and fit, then you must be either a glutton, a lazy slob, or both. Even the most well meaning, loving, supporting people in our lives will say things like, "If you just wanted it badly enough..." .... .... So it must just be a serious character flaw within myself. And let me tell you, there is nothing so severe as a lifetime of self-flagellation for a character flaw that all of society insists must be there. I swear, my spirit has been strip-mined for decades searching for the source of that flaw so I could "fix" it.

What I read opened my eyes to a new truth about what is REALLY going on inside my body...the physical consequences of every morsel we put into our mouths. I learned about how insulin is released into the blood stream and why...and most importantly, about what insulin does when it is flowing. I discovered that insulin blocks your body from using protein and fat for energy (and therefore, they get stored away immediately as fat) and forces it to use carbs for energy...which makes our body crave even more carbs. These cravings can be as powerful as any addiction to cigarettes or drugs. And the more we try to resist those cravings and cut back on our calories, the more our bodies will try to shut down and conserve energy, which makes us feel fatigued and listless. For many, many people, the whole process becomes a vicious circle. (<--- extremely condensed and paraphrased synopsis of a process far too big and complex to share here)

The weight that came off my shoulders when I realized it WASN'T a character flaw within myself was tremendous! This is NOT to say that I don't bear the responsibility for the state of my body. Only I can make the changes necessary to bring about a genuine physical change within my body. It will still and always require dedication and discipline and constant awareness of my choices. But KNOWING the consequences of those choices makes the choosing of them infinitely more powerful than doing it simply because society says you gotta have "will power."

In addition to the emotional baggage that got dropped...I have also been able to shift completely out of the "credit card" paradigm and into a new one that realizes every bite I take has an INSTANT affect on my body. The effects of of a single splurge on junk food can last for days and cause a cascade of physical events that make future choices that much harder to make. There is no "pay later" when you decide to grab that bag of candy...you're gonna pay (and pay big!) the moment you start munching.

Powerful, powerful tools that have completely changed how I view this process of losing weight and what my own role in the process is.

The book I read is NOT a diet book. And there are some major flaws (I believe) in the author's logic. It's not some perfect book, nor a solution to any specific problem. But it DID educate me in ways I never expected and since then I've gone on to read more about it by more qualified authors and once again, the journey I am on has become exciting and encouraging.

The book is called Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes (who also authored Good Calories, Bad Calories, which I have not read). It's worth a read, especially if the whole concept of blood sugar levels and the affects of insulin on the body is new to you.

I think the most weight I have ever lost in my life (and ever WILL lose!) is simply realizing that I am not to blame. Yes, I AM responsible for my body...but where I am now is not due to me being a bad/broken person. It's simply the physical mechanics of how this particular body works. And now that I KNOW how it works, I CAN fix it.

And that...my friends...is worth a bit of dancing.



And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
- Romans 12:2

[rabernet]

Great post, Judy!

There's a saying on Weight Watchers that I think about a lot.

Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.

[JLC]

Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.

I like that! Gonna have to remember it!

[smd58]

Great post, Judy!

There's a saying on Weight Watchers that I think about a lot.

Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.

So true