Day Sixtytwo -- Anticipation!
by
, 11-01-2010 at 12:10 AM (52029 Views)
Soooo...Halloween has officially come....and is almost gone. The trick-or-treaters have all gone home...and we actually emptied out our candy bowl this year, which was a bit of a relief, let me tell ya. I've survived the gauntlet of candy sales...although for the next few days, it will be even more intense as the stores try to clear out the last of their stock and sell them extra cheap. It'll always be something, won't it? The temptations have been a little bit stronger the last couple of days, but I've still managed to hold them at bay. I'm very happy with the overall success of getting through this holiday.
I told my husband the other day, "It's a good thing I've got curvy hips...cause look!" And I showed him my jeans...which are mega loose now. They're actually becoming a bit uncomfortable to wear because they're so loose and floppy and riding too low. But I refuse to buy new jeans until they're in real danger of falling off. LOL I can only afford so many new sets of clothes as I lose weight...but shopping in the future should be fun!
Speaking of shopping...we were out earlier today doing some birthday shopping for my middle son. We saw lots of really cute clothes and there are some very spiffy jackets and coats that I'm wishing I could wear as the weather turns cold, because they're so cute. And it hit me....that if I continue this trend...and even if it slows down some, but still stays steady....by this time next year I WILL be buying those cute little jackets and pretty clothes!! It's still so early in the journey that the end can seem very far away when looked at from the wrong perspective. But looking at it from the RIGHT perspective, it's so very exciting! This is the last winter that I'll feel embarrassed to wear big bulky coats (because they make me feel even bigger than I am). Come spring, I will be looking at whole new wardrobe shopping! Come summer, I may even be happy to wear a swimsuit! These things are seriously just around the corner...it's not far at all!
Sometimes, when I let my mind slip into the wrong gear, this whole thing feels like a marathon...and I'm tired. But such thoughts don't last long. It's not a marathon...it's a journey that will carry me through my entire life (which stands a much better chance of being a lot longer than it would have been on the other path!). I think what really gets me feeling the most tired is not the journey itself, but simply the anxious anticipation of some of its more titillating rewards. Shopping! (I love to shop!) Sexy clothes! I seriously can't wait to truly feel sexy for my husband again! The surprise on an old friend's face when they see me for the first time. The fun activities and adventures that I've shied away from because I've felt too fat or too slow or too tired and achy to be a part of. It's like being a little kid again, anticipating Christmas. I haven't felt anticipation this keen in years and years. Even when we were planning our trip to Disney World last year...I certainly looked forward to it....but it never had that child-like wonder of anticipation. (Once I got there though, the child-like wonder did take over...and one of the first things I plan to do when I reach my goals is to go back there and enjoy it as a lean, healthy, energetic kid!) What I'm trying to say is.......I just can't wait! LOL And sometimes, that waiting can make a person tired. But it's not a bad thing, I don't think.
I'm certainly experiencing some of the rewards now...they're just not as big and flashy as what will come. My husband is proud of me, and that is always a wonderful feeling. My energy levels are way up. My overall health is much better...rarely experiencing stomach upsets, headaches, or the other general aches and pains of eating a consistently unhealthy diet. And, of course, my pants are awfully loose.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen.
- Matthew 6:13
-- Judy