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Judy's Weightloss Journey

Day Thirtyeight -- Ugh! Withdrawal

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Yesterday was bad. I mean baaad. Horrible headache, and felt very sick to my stomach and achy in my body. Almost flu-like symptoms. I pushed myself through my daily tasks and chores as much as I could before I finally crashed and slept half the afternoon away. Felt a bit better after the long sleep. But through it all, I didn't give in to any temptation to relieve the symptoms by feeding the addiction. I stuck with my plans and made it through the day. Today is a little better, at least so far. I can feel the headache lurking and ready to explode, but hopefully it'll just stay in the background today like it did on Monday. Got too much to do today to be sick again.

If anyone is reading this and wondering "Why would you do this to yourself? That's just not healthy".....I beg to differ. If a cigarette smoker decides to quit, they go through several days of hell before they begin to feel better. Same with alcohol or any drug. The withdrawal is part of the healing process. And I'm looking at it like this: If the withdrawal hurts this bad...then how badly have I been poisoning my body all these years with unhealthy foods and unnatural chemicals? I want that crap out of my body...and going through this is the path to real health. So...while all this sucks right now, I'm actually glad to be going through it. I'm thrilled with the commitment I've finally made and extremely excited about getting to the other side of this phase, where I start to feel the rewards of journey in increased energy and health.

I did this once before...and that is a big part of how I can be so confident that the sickly feelings are temporary and feeling really good is a true reward. The problem with the last time I did this was that I took it as a six-week challenge. I made it through that challenge successfully....and after that, I was no longer fully committed, because I'd succeeded and finished my challenge. The good habits lasted for a few months, but gradually, old bad habits creeped back in...and it wasn't long at all before the addictive nature of typical American food had me in its full grip once more.

THIS time, it's not a six-week challenge at all. This time, the six week period is a cleansing phase, and merely the beginning of a lifelong commitment to treat my body well. So there is no "looking forward to this being over" like there was last time. There's no "pizza reward" at the end of the tunnel....there's no tunnel at all, in fact. If I look at it as a tunnel or some kind of trap of a diet...then I'll get weary of it and start to falter. For once in my life, head is in the right place...FINALLY where it should be to be able to look at this journey in a positive manner, instead of always looking back at the stuff I can't have or yearning for things I want. I'm not stuck in some dark tunnel looking for the light ahead....I'm IN THE LIGHT right now! I'm where God wants me to be, doing what God wants me to be doing right now, and the freedom of that is tremendous!! All my life, I've been chained to a bitter weight of addiction to unhealthy foods...and now I'm FREE of those chains. I don't have to ever eat that crap again!

I know there are a myriad of challenges ahead...changes to my personal visits...holidays...parties....all sorts of hurdles and obstacles to work my way through. Some of them may be very hard. But I am as committed to this new lifestyle as I am to my marriage. And in a good, strong marriage, when those challenges and obstacles rear their ugly heads, you do whatever it takes to get past them in a way that does not hurt your marriage. Same goes now...I'll face the challenges and am committed to finding my way through them in whatever way it takes that does not sabotage my own body.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.
- Galatians 5:1 come on, withdrawal symptoms! I dare ya!

-- Judy



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