Were/Are you a Dork? Is your kid?

[wilomn]

I've heard some positive things about this so I thought I'd share it.
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The best way to resist bullying is by not being a target.

What makes a target for a bully? Those who are different from the norm are often the targets of bullies. Too short, too fat, too smart, not smart enough, colour, posture, gait, pimples, eye contact or lack thereof, almost anything that sets one person apart from a group can also make one a target of bullies.

There is nothing to be done about some of the target criteria, one cannot control one's height or natural colour, but much can be done to avoid bullying.

Growing a thick skin is one of the best things you can do to avoid bullies. Verbal taunting is their most often used tactic to get a rise out of the intended target. If you can, simply ignore them. If you cannot ignore them entirely, remain calm, do not get angry, do not yell, do not raise your voice. That will only lead to further bullying. The less reaction a bully gets out of you, the less motivation for the bully to pick on you.

Dressing differently will make one a target. If you must wear that imitation WWII helmet to school, you must expect to be bullied. If your Uncle Clarence's winter coat, the one he wore back in 1979 when he weighed four hundred eighty-seven pounds and thought plaid was cool, is the only jacket you at ninety-two pounds dripping wet, wear to school, chances are you will be bullied.

Changing the way you dress can transform you from a bullseye carrying nerd to one of the multitudes of the unnoticed. If you fit in you are far less likely to be a target. Once you are no longer a target, you won't be bullied. The price, of course, is anonymity. You are also far less likely to stand out if you look and act like everyone else.

The way you walk can also make you stand out to bullies. If you shuffle or carry a load of books so heavy that it makes you list to one side, change your gait, carry fewer books or get a bookbag that allows you to carry them comfortably. Stand up straight and walk with your eyes looking forward. Do not slouch; do not look at the ground as you walk.

Walk like you belong wherever you are and that you will be welcome wherever you are going. Look at your destination, head up and eyes open. Even if you don't believe it, walk it, you have every right to be there. Bullies are not always smart, you can generally fool them.
Watching your feet is a dead giveaway that you don't want to be seen, which will most assuredly result in your bully noticing you. Do not watch your feet when you walk.

Eye contact with a bully is an offer of engagement if you look too long. A quick glance as you pass is best if any eye contact must be made. Do not obviously avoid looking at a bully either; this will merely make you a target
Be confident. Those two words are most important. If you think you'll be bullied, you will be bullied.

If none of the above are options open to you, learn where the bullies are and avoid those places.

[TheOtherLeadingBrand]

Too bad people can't just accept and be kind to others, like I was always taught to do (and indeed did do). I know there will always be abusive, nasty people raised by parents who set poor examples or even mistreat them themselves, but I can still wish it wasn't so.

[Creeptastic]

I always encourage people to not care what bullies, and other unintelligent , arrogant jerks think about them. To be an individual..that life is too short to go around acting fake, and doing things just to make the "bully" happy. Sure for children, bullies can suck...but that is because alot of them are not raised to understand how to deal with people like that, and how to have pride in themselves. Usually bullies are extremely insecure themselves. Even if actions were taken to prevent yourself from being a target, there is always someone that will find SOMETHING about you to pick on...just gotta learn how to brush it off, and remain an individual.

[_Venom_]

Survival of the fittest.

[Mettle]

Survival of the fittest.

That worked well in Columbine.

[KachineK]

What ever happened to teaching kids to be themselves?

Yep, I was picked on in school. First for being the smallest (by the age of ten, I finally hit about 4'6", wore a girls size 1 shoe, and weighted in at maybe 80 pounds dripping wet), then for being chunky when I grew out but not up, then for the hat I wore, and you know what? I never changed a darn thing. No, I didn't enjoy being picked on, but I didn't want to change either.

Today, I am still proud to be myself. The coat I wear is as loud as can be (covered with the Joker from the old Batman comics!), and it is even louder on me because there is still a lot of me to cover. I still wear the battered old hat my best friend gave me ten years ago. My hair has been cropped short, left shaggy, blue, red, purple, black... My personality has actually been an asset at work. Because they couldn't help but notice me, they started paying attention to my work, and within six months I was promoted to supervisor.

I like being me and I'm teaching my kids to like being themselves too, no matter what anyone says. And what is so wrong with a little boy wearing a pink polo shirt anyway? Or an Indiana Jones hat?

After all, if you can't be yourself, who else are you supposed to be?

Kachine Kolgon

[anatess]

What ever happened to teaching kids to be themselves?

Yep, I was picked on in school. First for being the smallest (by the age of ten, I finally hit about 4'6", wore a girls size 1 shoe, and weighted in at maybe 80 pounds dripping wet), then for being chunky when I grew out but not up, then for the hat I wore, and you know what? I never changed a darn thing. No, I didn't enjoy being picked on, but I didn't want to change either.

Today, I am still proud to be myself. The coat I wear is as loud as can be (covered with the Joker from the old Batman comics!), and it is even louder on me because there is still a lot of me to cover. I still wear the battered old hat my best friend gave me ten years ago. My hair has been cropped short, left shaggy, blue, red, purple, black... My personality has actually been an asset at work. Because they couldn't help but notice me, they started paying attention to my work, and within six months I was promoted to supervisor.

I like being me and I'm teaching my kids to like being themselves too, no matter what anyone says. And what is so wrong with a little boy wearing a pink polo shirt anyway? Or an Indiana Jones hat?

After all, if you can't be yourself, who else are you supposed to be?

Kachine Kolgon

LOVE IT! Absolutely love this post.

That's me in High School. I wanted to stand out and be an individual. My goal was to break the cliques and make people be like ME!

In my high school class - the lines between the nerds, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the chess players, etc were all smudged - the most popular kids in class (me being one of them) hung out with all of them. We had the tough guys - the "druggies" and such - but they had nobody to bully because everybody got each other's backs. They ended up bullying each other and when that wore off, they melded with everybody else and just became one of "us". I guess it helped that there are less than 100 kids in the entire class.

[sg1trogdor]

I've heard some positive things about this so I thought I'd share it.
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Growing a thick skin is one of the best things you can do to avoid bullies. Verbal taunting is their most often used tactic to get a rise out of the intended target. If you can, simply ignore them. If you cannot ignore them entirely, remain calm, do not get angry, do not yell, do not raise your voice. That will only lead to further bullying. The less reaction a bully gets out of you, the less motivation for the bully to pick on you.

I got picked on a bit in high school for being a "metal head" and having long hair in a predominantly shaved headed rap oriented school (Los Angeles what else is there lol). I found an easy way to make to certain few people stop. I went up to them in the middle of lunch and beat the living @#% outta two of them. Needless to say I had to deal with a few of their friend in the upcoming days but they were easily taken care of and after that no more problem. . Granted it could have gone the other way but I was willing to take that risk. Not advocating that everyone do this but sometimes a little good old standing up for yourself works.

Now if I had that problem with the shape I am in now I am sure it would go the other way. I have another 30lbs on me and I stopped lifting weights right after high school. Not saying I wouldn't try. I guess my violent problem solving method is my barbaric side coming out. lol. Wat can I say I love fighting.

[sg1trogdor]

That worked well in Columbine.

No columbine was because of Marilyn Manson and TV. <----not laughing at columbine itself.

[Argentra]

Dork?? No no! That term is derogatory! The correct term is GEEK!

Mega Nerd and proud of it! Yes, I was made fun of regularly when young because I was so different and such an introvert. But they never tried anything physical because I'm a big girl. It was all taunts and mean words, and after a while it was water off a ducks back. I didn't like it, but I didn't let it get to me.

I NEVER changed who I was comfortable being just because of others. I wasn't 'myself' back then because I hadn't found myself yet, but I knew what I liked doing and being at the time. Kids need to learn to be themselves and not care about what others say!